Random Rant of Feeling because I’m a Girl

So today has just been one of those days for me, one of those days where I just feel so alone and I’m tired of feeling like this. And I know this is like the complete opposite of my blog post last night. I just was like this kind of builds on it so I’m just going to post it today and hope all goes well, so here it goes.

I’m tired of feeling ugly all the time, but at the same time I don’t want to put effort into my appearance because I want someone to fall for me because of my personality not how hot I can look. I want someone to find me beautiful in my athletic short, yoga pants, jeans, t-shirts, and sweatshirts. At the same time though I wish that I could dress really nice one day and just grab some guys attention, I want him to look at me and do a double take. I want him to nudge his friends and be like “Who is that? She the prettiest girl I have ever seen.” I want a boy who will fight for that girl he saw that day, trying to find her. I want to be that girl he can’t forget, the one he won’t stop chasing. And I know this is stupid and cliché but this is what I want right now. I mean this guy could be my best friend first. The guy that comes over and watches movies with me in our sweats and pjs, and then he wants to go out for a change. Not a date. Just go out to go out. So I put on something nicer than usual and he just looks at me and is breathless. Then we go out more and we slowly fall in love. But at the same time I don’t know why I wish for all of this. Maybe deep down it’s what I really want, but I know I’m going to be alone for a good while so maybe that’s why I won’t let it happen.

So sorry for this little rant, it was more than twitter could handle for the night and I don’t have anyone to say this stuff to here so that’s that. I just needed to get this out. Hopefully someone out there can understand how I’m feeling. And that was actually a lot longer than I thought it would be so I’m sorry. Anyway, thanks for reading. It is greatly appreciated, I am sincerely grateful for all of you who read my blog, it means the world to me. I love knowing that there’s a few people out there that care what I think, or like to laugh at my life too. Thanks so much.

XOXO

Mary

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