Super Rant

I’ve been really good and I have ranted in a while but I need to get this out. This is something very important to me and I’ve been keeping it in for a while and it needs to get out.

Lately people have been making me feel like a piece of shit (I’m swearing for emphasis). I have spent a lot of my life trying to make other people happy, and yes it’s something I like to do, making people happy is a good thing, but I also I have to worry about myself. I can not please everyone I come in contact with and I’m sorry but that’s how life work. People don’t seem to understand that I talk to other people, I have other friends, I make other promises, and people just can’t expect everything from me.  I can’t please everyone and I don’t know why that’s so hard to understand. I’m done trying to please everyone before myself. I’M IMPORTANT TOO.

Also, just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything you say. I’m allowed to have my own opinion and ideas too. If I spend my time listening to you and hearing what you have to say you should return the favor to me and not shrug off everything I have to say. I’m a person too with my own ideas and opinions and friends should respect that. I’m tired of being ignored and put down just for what I think. Excuse me I’m a person and I would appreciate some respect too.

Another thing, if something makes you happy that’s great, don’t let anyone change that. However, don’t force it on other people, they don’t have to like everything you do. THEN IF THEY LIKE SOMETHING DON’T TRY TO RUIN IT FOR THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE. This is not a hard concept and I’m tired of people making fun of things I like and not respecting it, but then expecting me to respect the things they like and like all of that. No, that’s not how it works, respect is a two way street.

I’m tired of being treated like this because it makes me angry and sad and do you know what those emotions do to me? They make me anxious. I got so paranoid about the fact that I can’t please all of my friends today that I was on panic attack verge right before a test, that’s not okay. Friends aren’t supposed to cause me this much stress. They’re supposed to make me feel happy and build me up rather than tear me down and everything I like.  It’s not healthy for me to feel like this over friendships.

I had to get this all out, I’ve been keeping this all inside for weeks now and it’s all pouring out at once. It’s not healthy for me to feel like this because the way my mind works is that whenever I’m feeling extreme emotions it often causes me to get panicky and lead to attacks. Like this came out all out once and I’m laying in bed crying.  I’m sorry if your my friend and reading this and feel offended, but you know if you think you make me feel this way maybe you should feel a little bad. I’m slowly losing my mind because people I care about treat me so badly and it sucks and it doesn’t seem fair to me that I feel bad about myself the majority of the time all because of the people who are supposed to love me.

Thanks for all of you who read this and care about me.

XOXO,

Mary.

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2 thoughts on “Super Rant

  1. Nonni April 10, 2014 / 1:27 pm

    My arms are wrapped around so snugly. Everything will be okay. know how wonderful you ar and yes deserving of every happiness. I love you. Nonni

    • Mary April 10, 2014 / 9:05 pm

      Thanks Nonni, love you.

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