Unrealistic Expectations

After a year of college and crossing off core topics like language and science, as this happens I add more and more to the list of things I don’t want to do. Language, math, and science are all topics that have made that list so far. This leads me to think about what I should be doing and honestly I don’t know. I have this expectation that one day it’ll like come to me in a dream or something or I’ll be in the right place at the right time and I’ll just fall into it. That is a very unrealistic expectation.

I think I have a lot of these in life, I just expect the best out of everything. Hannah tells me I’m brave, I think I’m crazy. It should probably make me nervous to get from the bus station to Harvard Square by myself at five in the morning, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t scare me to wander cities alone, I just have this expectation that I will be fine. Probably not a good thought process.

I have this expectation for everything that it’s just going to work out the way it should, if I want something I’ll work for it, but if it doesn’t work out my reaction is that it wasn’t supposed to. I only end up really disappointed about half the time, which sounds like a lot, but I get over it pretty quickly. I only dwell on very few things.

I hate that this is what I’m basing my life plan off of. I am just taking everything as it is, seeing what I like and don’t like. For example I like writing, but I hate sitting in office building. My ultimate dream would be to become a travel writer for a magazine, or well, it would be really nice to just use this as a travel blog eventually, however, I have not fallen into blogging, there’s a good amount of you, but not enough to make this a career or anything. This is a hobby. Currently.

I know eventually I’ll figure it out, however I might need to do some searching instead of waiting. There are things that help lead me in the right direction, but right now I’ll just keep making the list of things I don’t want to do.

Before I sign off I just want to again ask anyone with anxiety to contact me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com I’m trying to get some research done for a blog post I want to do. You will remain anonymous, unless requested otherwise.

XOXO,

Mary.

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12 thoughts on “Unrealistic Expectations

  1. gettingthroughanxiety June 28, 2014 / 12:51 pm

    Mary,

    Because I feel better posting than emailing, I will give you some thoughts on anxiety and advice (though being a sufferer, I feel I can only help others so much). For one thing, while it’s hard to accept, we sometimes have to realize that some people we love are not going to be there for us and are going to draw conclusions based on the fact that they can never understand what we go through. I had someone say I went through anxiety for attention, which is far from the truth. We have to learn to find strength within ourselves and realize that we are never alone. Also, I have found that as hard as it is to ignore harsh comments, we must realize that as long as we are trying our hardest, we cannot let others bring us down. I also believe that failure only happens when we completely give up, not when we struggle.

    About your post, I’d like to say that I do think you’re brave and while you do have to research and not just wait for success, I believe you will be successful!

    • Mary June 28, 2014 / 1:21 pm

      Thank you so much. There are a lot of people who tell me that, especially when I was starting to figure out more and more about how bad it was getting and how big of a problem it could be for me. I’ve found comfort in things like YouTube (which probably sounds pathetic) but it really helps. Thank you so much, I’m sure you are helping a lot of people, including myself.

  2. gettingthroughanxiety June 28, 2014 / 1:17 pm

    Also some more advice (sorry for the second post) is that when having the attack, you try and focus on other things and if you can, call someone or talk to someone. It will usually help get your mind off of your anxiety and on to something else. The key to getting through anxiety is getting lost in something positive and gaining more and more confidence in yourself.

    • Mary June 28, 2014 / 1:22 pm

      I try, sometimes it’s difficult though.

  3. gettingthroughanxiety June 28, 2014 / 3:22 pm

    Trust me when I say I completely understand how difficult it is. I was thinking of posting it on my blog, but I’ve already stated it about a million times. I’ve had panick attacks and discovered that I need to be there for myself because sometimes others just simply don’t understand. I think it’s important to find ways to get through the anxiety. I often pray when I get into those kinds of situations and try and relax until I can gather the strength within myself to move on. Another possible helpful tip is to play out scenes of shows you like (or movies) in your mind; I’ve noticed this helps to move our mind away from what we fear and instead concentrate on something relaxing. I think you are so amazing to want to help others out there and I hope I can do the same! :) If you’d like to work on something together, I’d really enjoy it (perhaps we can write separately and then combine it?) Let me know.

    • Mary June 28, 2014 / 11:02 pm

      I should try that! Yeah I would totally work on something with you, what did you have in mind?

  4. gettingthroughanxiety June 29, 2014 / 11:03 am

    Perhaps we could write an article of some sort; maybe something about anxiety and how it effects those who suffer and how while it may be hard to understand sometimes, others need to try to comprehend the difficulties we all face. We could also write about how some people will unfortunately never understand and we can think of ways that people can find strength within themselves to rise above fear instead of depending on others. I think there are a lot of sufferers out there and writing about this could help! Also, it can help us by making us realize that we can get through our own anxiety.

    I’d hate to steal anything away from what you were planning to do though so if you’d rather work alone, I totally understand. Just let me know and we can work together on something. What ideas do you have in mind?

    • Mary June 29, 2014 / 10:42 pm

      Yeah I actually think that’s a great thing to do. How would you want to go about it? We could also include how to get past the really bad days. I can work on anything most evenings, like 5:30ish (eastern standard time).

  5. gettingthroughanxiety June 30, 2014 / 3:42 pm

    Mary,

    I’d really love to collaborate but want to do it in a safe and secure way. I don’t want to put anything private online and I don’t want you to have to either. If you want to email me (I believe you have the address?) you can and then we can go from there. Let me know but please don’t put my email on here. If you don’t know it, just let me know and we’ll figure something out. Thanks.

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