The question that I’ve been asked every day since I got home was whether or not I was looking forward to returning to college or not, and I am, but there are parts I’m not looking forward to either. I am so excited to see all of my friends, watch more Netflix, sleep better, get back to a better routine basically. At home I think it’s so easy for me to get off track and stay up late and get up early when at college I feel like I have to properly function to succeed so I focus my energy better. I also haven’t seen most of my friends in a few months so it will be nice to see them again and catch up and hang out again. I’m also very tired of the smell of cow shit, so it will be nice to smell anything but that for a while. It’ll also be nice to be in a busier area, I like that vibe more.
The major thing that I’m not looking forward to is feeling like an outcast everywhere I go. I go to a very small school and I often feel like I just don’t share the same interests as a lot of the people that I’m even friends with at school. That’s okay and I love all of my friends, but on days when everyone is getting drunk I wish I had someone who would just rather watch Netflix and eat french fries with me instead.
College can put a pressure on just about anyone to do things they aren’t comfortable with, and for someone like myself who doesn’t necessarily let people sway their opinion I feel as though it’s hard to fit in sometimes. I don’t want to drink or party or hookup, and sometimes I feel like that means I don’t fit in. On heavy drinking nights around campus I either sit alone or go and sit with the drunk people, which is funny for a little bit but it gets old as soon as people start to get loud or sloppy.
I do love all of my friends and for the most part I am looking forward to going back to college I just can’t help but feel a little outsiderish just because I don’t want to drink, etc. I’m not going to give up my morals just because I want to fit in, that’s not who I am. Who knows what will happen with friends, maybe I’ll make some new ones this year.