How to Move On

About two years ago I had to walk away from one of the best people in my life, up until that point. I’ve written little snippets about him before which you can read here but that’s not what this post is about. After all he put me through,  what was best for me was to walk away. I have reasons of my own, mostly the way he treated me for doing so, and after attempts to fix it became clear that something changed in us and we were no longer the same people. Sometimes a friendship or a relationship runs it course, and it’s tough but you might hit a time where you need to move on, so after having to move on several times here are my tips for doing so.

  1. Keep yourself occupied, don’t sit around and wallow in self-pity. Go to the movies, go to the mall, watch funny movies, hang out with other people, do things alone don’t let it sit inside your body too long.
  2. Only let yourself wallow for no more than a day. You can cry it out right at the beginning or three months later, whatever works for you, but try not to cry and wallow for more than a day. If you do this you’re going to sink into a depression or a very dark place and it’ll make it hard to move on. Binge on chocolate and watch sad movies for a day, two tops, but try not to sit like this for too long.
  3. Talk to new people, put yourself out there. This is something I struggle with but it’s important. Try to make new friends, go for the rebound, it’ll help momentarily, just try not to hurt anyone else in the progress. Put yourself out there.
  4. If you are having a bad flashback day, chocolate always helps.
  5. Cut them off, delete their number, unfollow them, take a step back and cut them out. If they call don’t answer, don’t open their texts just delete them. If you need someone out of your life you’re never going to be able to move on if they keep reentering your life. Their sadness doesn’t need to be yours too.

What are your tips to move on? Sorry if anyone has to move on in the first place, that sucks. I’m sending hugs your way if you do, not fun at all. I hope you’re doing okay.

XOXO,

Mary.

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4 thoughts on “How to Move On

  1. TheCatssMeoww September 2, 2014 / 12:41 am

    I would think that the “it’s time to move on” feeling would be one of the hardest to feel.

    • Mary September 2, 2014 / 7:07 pm

      I agree with you, it’s a terrible feeling to have to let go of someone who meant so much to you.

  2. gettingthroughanxiety September 2, 2014 / 11:44 am

    I kind of understand where you are coming from, Mary. I had a best friend that was my friend from about first to sixth grade and then we stopped talking and it really hurt because she was such a big part of my life. I met her again in college and expressed how I was feeling and my anxiety and while she seemed to be understanding at first, she didn’t seem as supportive as she once was and I found that I was always the one calling her and trying to keep in touch. It was hard to admit to myself that she had changed and that we wouldn’t continue being close friends.

    I think someone who goes through learning that they can no longer stay in a relationship (whether it be a friendship or something more like a romance, etc.), they have to remind themselves that people change and that being upset about a person changing is not going to do any good and that wasting ones’ time on concentrating on how a person has changed for the negative isn’t worth it. My friend always had an excuse for not calling me, like she was busy or something but it doesn’t take that long to send a text or email a quick message. I also had class with her and sometimes she wouldn’t even say hi.

    I think like you said, it’s important to just realize that they have changed and that there is nothing you can do about it. Also it’s important to meet new people who will be there for you and who go out of their way to talk to you and don’t seem bothered with you.

    • Mary September 2, 2014 / 7:06 pm

      Right, I think it’s important to recognize who is there for you and who is not.

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