Hide and Seek: Grown Up Edition.

That awkward moment when it’s four to ten and you don’t have any homework due tomorrow so you spend your night trying to convert video files instead of declaring a major or investigating study abroad programs or getting ahead for a busy week next week, because that’s the awkward moment I’m having right now. Did you know I’m still trying to fix my little video mistake from NYC and Rhode Island? Because I am. I just don’t really like the footage that I have from New York, I’m still trying to salvage that and I never fixed my footage from Rhode Island and now I forget how to do it.

Basically I had an important type of meeting today with study abroad ooo and basically I’m declaring my major this week. And turning 20 on Friday. And applying for a scholarship to go somewhere next fall. Basically I have to be a grown up this week and I spent today feeling anxious about it, I think because I’m partially excited and just you know my general anxiety has been building up since Friday I would say so I’m trying to run (yes run, look at me go) to fix this little problem. It did help, so I’m going to another little one tomorrow.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about relationships. I don’t know why really, I think as soon as the weather starts to get a little cooler if you’re single, you might be feeling lonely too. I think college is kind of weird too, like this is right before my real life starts, like life post school, post depending on your parents, post like childhood essentially and that makes me think like traditionally. I was in the study abroad office and this time next year, the halfway point of college will be past and I could potentially be in a different country, at an internship, taking classes, seeing the world, and to me that’s super weird. It’s super weird that in less than a year I have less than two years of being a not grown up, I’m rushing life I know, it’s just WEIRD. Like in a few years I should be getting married according to most traditions. MARRIAGE!  Like a want a boyfriend (kind of… maybe… still unsure) but I don’t want to think about getting MARRIED yet. I want to like meet people, like cute boys, and then maybe travel, with or without them, like Chicago definitely with them because I don’t want to get sold into sex slavery, but everywhere else maybe alone. I know that’s weird. I’m so weird.

So I’m hiding from responsibilities and trying to edit to videos at once whilst falling into the depths of YouTube. A casual Monday night.

I actually do I have to talk to my advisor about declaring because I don’t now if I have to have a concentration or not. So I’m not being totally irresponsible. Tomorrow I promise to be more productive. At least I answered a few emails today, not the ones I needed to, but I answered some and did a quiz early. So that’s good. Now I’m going to answer the other emails and I’m going to figure out how to change those files! I hope everyone is being me productive than me and having a great day. I don’t even know what to classify this word vomit as, an update maybe? Oh whatever, I’m a mess, kind of. I described myself on twitter as “I look and feel like a mess today. Not even a hot mess, just a regular mess.” so yeah, story of my life. If you want to follow me on twitter @mrmilligan13, if you let me know that you follow me I shall follow you back of course! Do something good today.



2 thoughts on “Hide and Seek: Grown Up Edition.

  1. gettingthroughanxiety September 16, 2014 / 2:18 pm

    I’m sorry you’ve been stressed lately. Do you have any ideas on what you want your major to be? Just remember to take your time and not rush into something; concentrate on something you want to. I know it can seem scary to think about the future but you have a lot of time to go places, meet more people, and when you’re ready maybe get married. Don’t feel you need to rush into these things because when you decide you’re ready for marriage or whatever that comes along, you should be sure that it makes you happy. You deserve to be happy, Mary.

    My best advice I could give is to focus on your school work right now, figuring out a major, and getting through your anxiety along with doing what you want like traveling, etc. Don’t worry about getting married now or meeting someone, it’ll happen, you’re a great person!

    • Mary September 16, 2014 / 9:57 pm

      I’m declaring Communications Arts, so I can specialize in just about anything later in life, that way I’m not limiting my options.

      Thank you! :)

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