I Worry.

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I’m a worrier. I don’t know why, it probably it has something to do with anxiety or maybe it’s just the way I’m wired and part of what makes me who I am but it’s just something I do all the time. Every time I go anywhere I worry. I worry about myself, about my family, about my friends, about random people I don’t know.

I saw this quote today and I wasn’t sure how I felt. I want to think that I can be both. I see it this way, worrying is a part of my nature that I can’t really change. I’m always going to think of the worst possible outcome in any situation and I don’t think that will ever change.  This isn’t always a bad thing.

Due to my worrier nature I like to think of myself as an asset rather than a hinderance. While I’m sure I can be a nuisance in some social situations in which people want to have some reckless fun and I of course have to be the voice of reason, but in other situations I’m sure it’s a good thing that I’m the voice of reason. I believe that everyone needs a voice of reason whether they think so or not.

I worry whenever anyone leaves the house that they won’t come back. I worry about my friends drinking too much and not realizing it, then not getting to the hospital in time. I worry that I’m going to go blind every time the little black spot shows up. I worry that I’m going end up back in Lancaster post graduation. I worry that people I love are going to forget about me. I worry that I’m going to forget about someone important. I worry that I’m going to fail every time I try something new. Yet, no matter how much I worry it’s not as bad as I think it’s going to be *knocks on wood* (a worrier’s worst and most frequent habit).

Worrying prepares me for the worst but I like to still expect the best. It’s just how my  brain works and I don’t know why I had to write all about it. I guess it’s that just because I worry about every little thing it doesn’t prevent me from doing things. It doesn’t make me any less of a person, it just means that I put a little more thought into things before I do them.

You can be both, a worrier and a warrior, you don’t have to choose.

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5 thoughts on “I Worry.

  1. gettingthroughanxiety November 10, 2014 / 12:36 pm

    Mary,
    I agree that you can be both a warrior and a worrier. In fact, many times, worrying leads us to be a warrior because we want to overcome our fears. However, you need to remember, Mary, that it is possible to get through your anxiety, it’s not WHO you are, it’s what you go through.

    I don’t think worrying makes us weak, I think letting our anxiety control us is what makes us weak. We need to stand up to our fears and remind ourselves that we can get through this!

    • Mary November 12, 2014 / 3:04 pm

      Right if it doesn’t control us, it’s all good!

  2. anxiousizzy November 10, 2014 / 12:45 pm

    If there were no worries in the world, or no anxiety for that matter, this world would be awfully strange. My therapist has told me several times that anxiety is not something to be embarrassed about. It’s more something to be content with because you’re aware of everything surrounding you. Yes, obviously it gets to be too much sometimes, but it helps in the long run. I mean, if I didn’t worry about that linear algebra test I took today, I wouldn’t have studied for it. You can most definitely be both.

    • Mary November 12, 2014 / 3:04 pm

      Very true!

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