I Missed a Lot

So I basically just took a week off and it wasn’t for a vacation, it wasn’t directly because of my anxiety, it was because in the past week I’ve felt like I’ve hardly had the time to breathe. I missed writing, I missed blogging. I missed the pages, I missed my comments, I missed just about everything but I didn’t have the time. I didn’t even have the time to sit down and read what other bloggers were writing. I also missed my fake two year anniversary and this whole website.

I’ve cried a lot this past week and it’s not about to stop. I’m not ready to say goodbye. It has not yet truly sunk in that I’m not coming back for eight months. I’m going to visit in the fall but it won’t be the same and while I’m so looking forward to go away and have new experiences there’s also the very small part of me that like to come out and cry about the little things I’ll miss around campus, but mostly my friends.  It’s just this weird thing that whispers to my heart “You only have one more semester with Eric” well that’s also him telling me that to make me upset, but other things too like missing classes with Logan. However, there’s the plus side of things like trying to see Molly while I’m abroad because she is too and meeting new people and making new friends and having this huge variety of experiences.

The year has wrapped up with countless group projects, lots of anxiety (more than the rest of the year combined probably) and finals are rapidly approaching. I spend a lot of my time consuming excessive amounts of caffeine that I know I shouldn’t have because of my anxiety but I choose to stay awake and get work done. I have hardly even started packing. Let’s just say that after the hell that was last week, this week should be a sigh of relief after everything is finished. Hopefully I get a job soon, still waiting on that one, but I’m ready for a break. Not ready for goodbye.

There will hopefully be another post or TWO (I know make a shocked look because I’m coming for you) this afternoon/evening. Sorry for going MIA if anyone missed me, I sure missed it here.



One thought on “I Missed a Lot

  1. gettingthroughanxiety May 4, 2015 / 7:06 pm

    I missed you, Mary! Are you going on that trip you were talking about or are you just referring to Summer vacation? I understand being stressed during the end of semester, it can can be hard getting ready for finals and dealing with the combination of stress from school and that of general anxiety.

    Anyway, again I want to wish you good luck on your finals. If you work hard, you can do a great job and I really think you will! I suggest that you maybe drink less caffeine too (not to sound like a mother) and try other ways to help you stay up (maybe listening to music while you study if you can or focusing on what you’re doing instead of the fact that you’re tired. I only suggest this because like you say caffeine can make some people shaky and anxious. Let me know how your finals go and everything. I wish you all the best!

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