My Anxiety Won’t Win

No matter how long you’ve been following me, you know that I suffer from anxiety. For whatever reason today has been particularly bad, I’ve had a few small panic attacks, but I’ve had this general feeling of anxiousness all day. Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse, feeling anxious all day or having one bad panic attack, at least then it’s over with, but then I feel really sad just because I feel mentally and emotionally weak. I’m not sure if that makes sense that’s just how I feel.

However, today I had a meeting with someone at work who works does PR for the company I’m working a for the summer. I had two hours from the time I started to the time the meeting began and I felt so anxious. I was afraid I wasn’t going to know what to say or how to act. It turns out I had no reason to be anxious because we hit it off! We talked the whole hour without a single moment of awkward silence. I acted like myself, told her about myself and my interests. I think that’s a great thing to do in situations like that because anxiety only builds with lies and pretending, or at least that’s what I think. She actually has given me the awesome opportunity to write a press release which is an awesome experience to have at 19. I’m so excited.

This really great opportunity brought with it anxiety, well maybe not with it because it was already there. I had to find the information for the press release, which meant I had to use the phone that has been sitting on my desk, used once to set up my email. For some reason making phone calls to people I don’t know makes me really nervous. I think I would actually rather meet someone face to face or even like skype them over a phone call. I don’t know why that is, but it actually caused me to have a small panic attack. I set little accomplishments so that I could do it. I retyped all the information I was given into a way that it was easier for me to understand. I then took out the questions I had to ask and typed those all up. I practiced reading them so I wouldn’t stutter, and to make sure that they made sense. After a lot of deep breathing I picked up the phone and dialed the extension. Let me tell you five rings in cruel to a person with anxiety, he didn’t answer and I had to leave a voicemail. The rest of the afternoon I’m waiting for him to return my call just working on some more powerpoint stuff and I think I’m in the clear at 4:50, but no, at 4:53 the phone rings. It went well, I asked him my questions and now I’ll arrange all the information tomorrow.

It might take me a little bit longer to do some things, but I’m not about to let my anxiety to stop me. There are so many things in life that I want to do and I don’t want to stop because I’m feeling anxious. I know there are going to be times where it does get the best of me, heck it gets the best of me a lot, but it’s not going to stop me. Even if something takes a hundred tries, or if I have to pick up the phone and put it down a few times before I’m not going to let this win. Today just justified that I can accomplish something great  a simple everyday task that makes me anxious if I set my mind to it. If I can do it, so can you.

XOXO,

Mary.

 

Hello fellow bloggers or readers that suffer from anxiety. I’m trying to a post on how to explain anxiety to those who don’t experience it and how they should handle someone having a panic attack. If you have any advice on this I’m trying to compile a list, so if you want email me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com please it would be really helpful! You can stay completely anonymous as well.

 

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13 Reasons Why

Now I’m not sure if anyone has read the book 13 Reasons Why if you have you know it’s an amazing and altogether sad book, if you haven’t however I greatly suggest it. A basic synopsis of the book for those of you haven’t read it is a girl records a tape of the 13 reasons why she committed suicide and she makes the 13 people who did so listen to the tapes and pass them on so they all feel guilty about the way they treated her.  Well this is a really serious subject that I kind of wanted to touch on, but I’m going to do a spin on this and make it the 13 reasons why you should stay alive, because every life is worth living and I don’t want anyone to ever feel bad about themselves.

First a quick little disclaimer, I am not any sort of professional and I just want to help anyone who needs it. I really don’t want to offend anyone with this post.

Please anyone who is struggling depression or contemplating suicide, seek help. I am including the hotlines for various countries if you need help.

So here it goes 13 Reasons to Stay Alive

  1. Every person you meet you have an impact on whether you talk to them for a second or a life time, and if you die you are taking away a piece of those people’s lives too.
  2. As much as you think no one cares, someone does, there is at least one person that will really care if you die.  Think about all the people you interact with on a daily basis, what if you were no longer there for them any more? How do you think they would feel?
  3. One day things will get better and even if you think they won’t, they will. One day you’ll find someone to love, find a job you love, have kids who love you, there are a million things to look forward to if you look to the future instead of the present.
  4. There has to be something that makes you happy whether it’s a TV show, movie, Oreos, a book, or even a stuffed animal, that thing will always be there for you no matter how hard things get and whenever you feel sad maybe think of that thing and it might help just a little.
  5. Everyone has a future and if you end your life you lose yours and that affects other people’s as well. This kind of goes along with number one, but this time think about all the people you could help or impact in a way, and without you there their whole live could be completely different.
  6. One day this time that you seem to be stuck in now will all be a bad memory, and do you know what happens with bad memories? We forget them and you’ll forget about how badly right now sucks.
  7. “It’s a bad day, not a bad life” is one of my favorite quotes, I’m not sure who it’s by, but it’s so right. You might be having a bad day, or a bad week, or even a bad year, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad life, it’s a rough patch but it will smooth over.
  8. Think about every good/great thing that has ever happened to you. There is something and if you think hard enough you’ll find it. It could be anything from the time you had a line in a school play, got “Most Improved”, or even made a new best friend it’s a good memory whether that thing is there or not, good memories bring back happy feelings.
  9. Your best friend, and this could be anyone, someone you met on the Internet, your mom, or the kid next door who you grew up with, that person would be devastated if you died, how would you feel if they felt the way you did right now? You’d be worried and concerned and I hope you know that’s how they feel about you to.
  10. Your favorite band. My friends did a video on this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQpghjbwdIk) and they talk about how if a band saved your life that’s awesome. Also, maybe it will help you see some more good in the world through music. Music is a great escape and it helps a lot of people, and it’s a lot of people’s reason to stay alive so maybe it can be yours too!
  11. A pet, if you live alone, or with a roommate, but you have a pet, who’s going to take care of it if you’re gone? It could end up in a pound and be put to sleep, and do you want that for your dog or cat? And if it’s smaller than that chances are people are going to care even less.
  12. Use books as an escape, authors provide you with different worlds, books like the Harry Potter series take you into the story, you can practically live a different life while things improve themselves.
  13. Finally, a reason to live is for yourself, to prove to yourself that you are so strong. Strong enough to make it, strong enough to prove not only yourself but anyone who doubts you wrong. You are a great person with so much potential and that should be a huge reason to want to stay alive.

I hope at least one of the reasons is a big enough one to keep you alive because you are so worth the life you have been given. So I hope this helped at least one person out there, if not that’s okay, maybe it can help you help someone. I know this a lot more serious than a lot of my posts, and I really hope it doesn’t offend anyone either, I tried my hardest on this. If you need help there are the hotlines, if you need to talk to a friend, I can be a friend, feel free to email me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com the emails are sent to my phone which I always have on me so I’m basically available to anyone who needs help. However, I am not a professional whatsoever, as you know I’m a college freshman, also I have no experience on this topic either, so if you need real help call the hotline for your country that I have provided. There are so many people willing to help you and who want you alive.

XOXO

Mary

The Answers:

January 1: Dust particles and dish towel fibers inside the Champagne glass, according to scientists at the University of Reims.

January 2: The US would not allow women to compete in events where they couldn’t wear long skirts.

Question:

January 3: What was the first single-letter ticker symbol on the Nasdaq stock exchange?