My Final Semester

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Tomorrow is my last first day of school. I might’ve said that last semester, but really this is the last one. I have never been so excited but so nervous for school to be over.

It’s weird because this is really the beginning of the end. Five months from now I’m going to be a “real” adult. No more walk-in meal under the lump sum of my meal plan, same with the apartment. Work will no longer be holding babies and doing random things for the marketing department (okay depending on how things work out that could still be a thing) but really, my life is about to really change over the next few months.

I cannot begin to describe how quickly the past four years have gone and how much I have changed. I really do feel like it was just yesterday I was dreading going back for another semester, and this year I was itching to get back. Reflecting on my time at Hood has been amazingly reassuring to me, as well as my future.

I’m not good at change, and I never have been, yet it’s something I’ve craved for as long as I can remember. Maybe it’s because of my major FOMO and I want to know what else the world can offer me, if it’s not that I don’t know what it could be. However, whenever I get to the new I end up afraid of missing what I left behind which is probably why I hated my freshman year of college.

I think the greatest lessons I learned during my time here so far, well those outside of class includes who to trust, how to get to that point, and not everyone changes/evolves at the same rate as you. College has allowed me to meet a lot of people and realize what I’m looking for not only in friends but mentors and bosses.

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 25

late night blogging with mary

Hello everyone, it’s been a while. The end of the semester got to be way too much for me to handle this year, but I just emailed my professor my final project so I’m done. I am officially a senior and thank goodness for that. Towards the end it was often a struggle to make it through.

This year was so full of blessings, however I will leave those all to another post dedicated to my amazing school year. This post is weird. I was gone for so long, it just feels weird coming back.

I say this every summer, and every summer it starts but doesn’t quite finish and that would be the revamping of Mary’s Average Adventures. This summer I hope to improve on: more fashion-y style posts, DIY, and hopefully, a lot more adventures.

Blogging has been a struggle for me. Most recently, I’ve become a sell-out to the Odyssey and that has taken a lot of my ideas too. I don’t know why I signed up for it, but I try my best to give it a better name. I just have a lot of issues with the way it’s run and how people perceive the site in general. How many letters to the ex-boyfriend can I read? Why do I have to share my articles on Facebook?

I also broke up with my boyfriend. That’ll be another post about the internet and relationships because it’s interesting.

Right now, I’m just trying to recover. I’m only home for about a month until I go back to school to do research with one of my professors and another student. The plan for this month is scrapbooking, reading, and lots of me time.

This is more of an I’m back to blogging post than a LNBM I suppose haha. However, I’m back, I’m a senior, and I’m so glad I’m on break.

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A Year Changes Everyone.

A little less than a year ago I wrote this post. A post that highlighted my expectations of what my senior year self thought my life would be like compared to what it was actually and now I’m looking back at my life from last year. This time last year I didn’t even know Eric and now he’s my best friend. This time last year I ate dinner alone in my room almost every night and now I eat with my friends for almost every year. Friends that I hung out with maybe once a month. I was going home almost every weekend because I hated college and now I don’t like knowing that I’m missing out here when I go home for a weekend.

This time last year I spent 95% of my time incredibly anxious and essentially afraid to leave my room. Wednesday I left my room at 10:45 am and didn’t get back until past midnight. I have essentially made a complete 180 with my life and I really cannot compalin. While the anxiety still hits me- the past two days it has, but I moved past it. I’m handling myself and situations a lot better. I would say that I’m anxious about 50% of the time now but I also don’t let it confine me to my room unless it’s a really bad day.

There’s a lot of things that I regret about last year. There was this and group of people reaching out to me and I was ignoring them. I was cutting off myself off and I really don’t like that I was the reason that I didn’t allow myself to have fun. I spent all of my time wishing to be somewhere else and not enjoying the moments I had.

My life has really turned around and I’m really happy with that. I would say I owe a lot of this to my new friends. Especially Logan, Molly, and Eric- if it weren’t for them inviting me to things and making me feel included I don’t know if I would be as happy as I am now. I wouldn’t say I was unhappy before, but I also know that I wasn’t happy. A year can change a lot and I would say that if I would have let myself be open to all of these people I would have been a lot happier a year ago too. I don’t think people make happiness but when you surround yourself with people who really, truly care about you, your life really improves. I don’t feel like second place or second choice, I feel equal and that’s what I really like.

A lot changes in a year and every year a lot will change. You can look back at almost any year and see all the changes in your life and maybe it will be nostalgic. For me it’s not. For me it’s kind of filled with regret. I don’t want to focus on that though, I want to focus on the fact that I have probably the world’s greatest friends. I want to focus on the fact that I’m a lot happier and a lot less anxious. I want to focus on the fact that a year ago I never thought I would be where I am today in the best way possible. Sure people have left me in the past year but I guess sometimes that’s for the best.

I don’t know why I felt the need to share this but I read that old post of mine and I’m amazed at how content and pleased I am with my life. A lot changes in a year and I wouldn’t say that’s a bad thing.

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Dear Wordpress,

Well WordPress this evening’s post was supposed to be about my love for summer nights, however, you just changed my mind.

What on earth is this new format? I don’t think you asked for my permission to change it this drastically. This is not how I like to blog. I like to see clearly what I’m tagging as well as the categories I can chose from. I don’t like that it’s so narrow, what was this change based off of?

I guess this stems from my hatred of change, I like consistency, I like to know where everything is. I also don’t like how this font looks when I’m typing. What are you doing to me?

I don’t like this one bit, however it does look nice but I like the old way better. I could navigate to older posts to make sure I hadn’t written about my idea before. Where is that now? Where is my very easy to navigate dashboard? I miss it already and it’s hardly gone. My day went from good to sad. I’m very upset with this layout.

Does anyone else feel this way? This is worse than the twitter change. Maybe. Actually it is because I hardly ever look at my own profile, but I type here EVERYDAY!

I’m not okay with this. Someone fix it back to the way it was. It’s been gone for just a short amount of time and I miss it so much.

Dear WordPress, please fix this issue.

XOXO,

Mary.

Before you go, it’s too hard to find the publish button and I like seeing my post when it’s completed, please change it back. Please, I’m begging.

The Speed of Life

Guys, it’s June. I’ve been home for a whole month already. I’ve been looking back at the month so far and there hasn’t been much memory making that’s been going on and I hate that.  I’ve spent a month working and filling free time with friends, which is great. I come home after whatever I’m doing and I put up a blog post and go to bed. I’m in a routine and it’s one of those things that just let me know that I’m growing up.

Later this week I’m starting a marketing internship and I’m so exciting, I know this is a really valuable opportunity that most people my age don’t get so I’m extremely thankful for that. However, in addition to that I’m working the job I’m not a fan of every other Saturday. It’s weird to think that I’m at the age now where I have to start “worrying” about things like internships and things to put on a real resume and not just a college application. This is honestly something that I’ve wanted, but was just kind of a dream. I really thought that someone older would get it, like who needed it for credit or something but I guess I got lucky this time.

Anyway, that’s kind of besides the point of this post. I can’t believe how fast time is going. I finished freshman year of college, I have a real job that I have to dress up for now, I am a month into my summer break, and in three months I’m starting my sophomore year of school with classes focusing towards my major. Like it’s hard to believe by the end of next year my major will be decided and declared and all but one of my classes will focus towards my future career (what that will be I’m not entirely sure). It’s insane to me that by this time next year I will be halfway done with college- and trust me I won’t be going past a bachelor’s degree at this time. I might even be preparing to go overseas for a study abroad opportunity. It’s seriously insane how quickly time is going.

I think time is one of those things that you just want things like school to go by quickly, but seriously I’m going to be a real adult before I know it. I’m planning on some good posts here soon. I was just at one of my best friend’s graduation party today and it became very evident that we’re all growing up and changing to real grown ups (well kind of).

XOXO,

Mary.