25 Days of Christmas: Day 4- Mental Health During the Holidays

As you probably know, mental health is something I struggle with, anxiety specifically. That’s part of the reason I’m behind on my 25 days of Christmas.

In general, this week was very busy for me. Aka I started going to the gym and I’m tired. Other than that, I’ve just been very anxious and a little depressed so I don’t really want to fake a smile for my blog writing. That’s why I should’ve gotten ahead like I originally planned, but hey life got in the way.

I’m sure it’s not just me that struggles with mental health during the holiday season. It’s when a lot of people’s seasonal affective disorders strike. For me, I think it’s combined with my period like it is every month, and then just the general idea that I’m supposed to be happy and cheery for the holiday season. This time of year I think is stressful for a lot of people, but that’s not why I’m anxious. I think it’s important to note that anxiety isn’t always tied to stress, sometimes it’s not tied to anything. Right now I think it’s really hormonal mixed with some stuff I don’t really overshare.

Hopefully, this ends with my period, and I can pick up with 25 Days of Christmas. If it doesn’t I’ll try my best but right now, I’m just going with the flow (lol). If you’re dealing with mental illness struggles during this season, just know you aren’t alone.

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For those of you who are unaware, today is the day of the Semicolon Project. Incase you don’t let me explain. Basically in honor of those who self-harm, are suicidal, suffer from depression or anxiety, and for all of those who are simply unhappy, a semicolon is drawn on the wrist of all those who suffer and support. This is because a semicolon is used when an author could have ended the sentence but decided not to, the project then compares it to people, everyone is the author of their lives and insteading of giving up when times are bad, they kept going. As I suffer anxiety I decided to particpate this year, I’m not sure why I never did, I don’t know if I just didn’t understand it. To me though, the semicolon on my wrist is a reminder that no matter how bad the panic attack gets it’ll go away, life will go on, and so will I.

You might’ve seen these on none or numerous people today. If you did, I hope you can support them. This is a lot like the Butterfly Project, however that focuses on self harm. You may even notice an increasing number of people with semicolon and butterfly tattoos on their wrists because they are survivors. I encourage everyone to be supportive of these people because some of them have been to hell and back I’m sure. However, they never stopped trying, they always aspired to get better because they saw that they didn’t like the direction their lives were going. Be proud of them, because it’s easy to fall back into an old routine.

Today was a particularly sucky day for my anxiety and I, especially during voting when all of the sudden tears were welling up in my eyes and I couldn’t leave the room, only making it worse. However, maybe the semicolon helped me feel a little more relaxed. I think anyone who suffers from any of the above things remember the semicolon. You’re story is not over, it’s just beginning. There is also some more information HERE  on the website incase you still had questions. I was going to try and include pictures but the internet here is so freaking slow.

Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Mary.

Kindness.

Today I relearned a very important lesson, kindness goes a very long way. I don’t think people understand what the power of words can do.

This is in both a positive and negative way. What you say to someone has the power to change their whole life. It can be as simple as a hello or even an I’m here for you. Words and actions can change a life. You never know what someone is going through and what you say can make or break their world.  This article is a prime example link and please read the story before going on with the post if you don’t know it.

Offering someone a hand in a time of need can literally save their life. On the other hand a “mean” word can literally rip someone apart so much you can destroy their life. I can’t tell you how many sad stories I read and see on tumblr. I hate the fact that I grew up in a place that one day someone’s not going to make it out of there in time and something really bad is going to happen there because people are so judgmental. Why can’t we accept those who are a little bit different? I shouldn’t have to worry about people I know getting bullied so bad that they’re suicidal. That’s scary. I hate that it’s acceptable to treat people like that, because really, it’s not.

Please don’t ever tell anyone to “go die” or “I hope your mom get cancer” those things aren’t okay to say and I hate the fact that I see them on a daily basis. Go ahead look through you favorite celebrities twitter responses because I can almost guaranteed  you that you will be so disappointed in society as a whole. I’m sure many of you may know about the Tyler Oakley/ Liam Payne drama, Tyler Oakley, internet fanatic felt so threatened he stayed offline for a week. No one should have to feel like that, no one should have to feel like that. I don’t think people understand the power words have, you can literally rip apart someone’s life so much that they want to die. No one should want to die people should want to live and be happy.

Think twice before you say anything. Pay a stranger a compliment. Tell your best friend you love them. Never take anyone for granted. Be kind and if you think you can make someone smile, do it because chances are, they need it.

On that note I would like to again put my email here (marysaverageadventures@gmail.com) because I touched on suicide again and I never want anyone to feel like there isn’t any other option. I’m a good listener and I can try to make you smile. Please find someone who can help you because life will get better and I’m sorry if it was a person that made you feel that bad. Someone can make you feel better again.

XOXO,

Mary.

Serious Thoughts

Sometimes, I think seriously.  Although, I think life should be fun, exciting, and we should try and laugh at the little things, there are somethings I take very seriously. I was thinking today about some of these things and I thought I would just make a list about it.

  • Suicide and depression is not a joking matter. Ever. Never ever tell anyone to go kill themselves, never joke about wanting to kill yourself, never say that you’re depressed if you’re just having a bad day. I see a lot of jokes like this on twitter and tumblr, and I think everyone should know that it’s not okay. There are real people who struggle with these things and they shouldn’t have to hear people making jokes about it or glorify them. I guess self-harm would also qualify under this category. When you reblog pictures of people who cut words into their arms and then caption it “beautiful” it’s not beautiful, it’s sad. It’s sad that someone is so depressed that they are carving words into themselves, they need help, and you telling them that it’s beautiful is not helping them.  This is actually something I’ve done a few blog posts on, so if you go under  the “Serious Stuff” category you can read more about my opinion there.
  • There are certain words that people shouldn’t use in any circumstance or situation. I don’t even want to write these word here because they’re so offensive, so I’m just going to put the first letters: the n-word, the r-word, and the f-word. The n-word is a racial slur and it makes any user of the word sounds very uneducated, especially when they call their white friends that. Grow up and get some class, please. The r-word is offensive to any person who struggles with mental disabilities, and maybe not to them directly but their family and friends that care about them. I think this is a thing that younger kids use more often, but try words like stupid instead, the r-word is unnecessary. Finally the f-word and I’m not talking about the four letter one, I’m talking about the three letter one. When you call a gay person this you are more likely to come off as homophobic then accepting. To be honest, if you’re still homophobic in today’s society you are fighting a battle that you are going to lose. So to anyone from my hometown reading this, grow up and be loving like Jesus taught us, even those who are gay. Love everyone. Don’t use these words.
  • Don’t be the dream crusher. This is something I deal with on a regular basis from various people that I encounter, anywhere from work to school. At the beginning of the year when I was still very set on being a Journalism major, a kid tried to tell me at dinner that I just had to be a Computer Science major, why? Because he was and he thought it was the greatest thing ever. Never be that person, sure you’re passionate about something, but that doesn’t mean every person has to be. I can’t even begin to express my anger towards him, I can feel it starting again. You don’t have to crush someone’s aspirations and dreams just because you think that you’re better. Also, this applies to things like Santa to kids, never be that person either.
  • People should never be called ugly or fat or scrawny or too thin or overweight or anything derogatory towards someone’s appearance. If you can see it as an outsider, they’re thinking it themselves a thousands times a day,  along with a lot of other really negative things about themselves. Also, making fun of people for something as trivial as looks is just mean and you can’t get much lower than that. You never know what people are going through or thinking themselves, they don’t need more negativity in their lives.

Okay so those are my serious thoughts for the night. A snow day spent alone with lots of work bring many distracting very serious and not so serious thoughts. Off to do more work unfortunately. Is winter over yet? I’m tired of the snow even though it does bring days off, I don’t know if it’s worth it though some days. Okay I need to stop procrastinating now, no plug today because there will be a long one tomorrow, sorry! Still in need of help though!

XOXO

Mary

Happiness is Everywhere

It's not fun being sad, for one day, as hard as it is, no matter what has happened, try and smile at least once. Try and find one thing every day that makes you happy.
It’s not fun being sad, for one day, as hard as it is, no matter what has happened, try and smile at least once. Try and find one thing every day that makes you happy.

The first thing I feel obligated to put in this post is that I’m talking about that people that view mental illnesses as a trend, which they are not, I am not targeting anyone who actually struggles with these illnesses. The main point of this whole this is to be happy and not to try and fall into the new “trend” of mental illness. I would just like to emphasize once again that I am NOT at all writing about the people who actually struggle with these illnesses.

Happiness is everywhere, you might have to look but it’s there. Two things that I’m really trying to get in the habit of is finding at least one thing every day that makes me happy, and another thing is to try and make someone’s day or just put a smile on their face.  I think we live in a society where happiness is trumped by depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses that are glorified to be something beautiful, when in actuality there are so many people who struggle with them. I mean I love tumblr as much as the next internet-obsessed girl but there are so many people there who glorify things like self-harm and depression and they call it “beautiful” and “deep” but what about people who are so depressed that they do things like commit suicide? That’s not beautiful or deep it’s sad and tragic.

One of my favorite YouTubers, Troye Sivan, recently commented on this on Twitter, this is what he said and I think it just shows how big people are seeing this as a problem.
One of my favorite YouTubers, Troye Sivan, recently commented on this on Twitter, this is what he said and I think it just shows how big people are seeing this as a problem.

sivan

Like it’s not something to take lightly, things like #cutforbieber aren’t cool. These aren’t things meant to be trends, these are real things that real people struggle with. Why are we romanticizing things like depression when we could be shining light on the things that make people happy? We could emphasize things like flowers and rainbows. Yes, I know that sounds extremely cheesy but why can’t we do this? Why do we have to be a completely miserable species? Why can’t we find happy thing beautiful and deep?  But even major corporations like Urban Outfitters releasing shirts that say “Eat Less” to what? Emphasize the need to be skinny and make curvy girls feel worse about themselves? To encourage diseases such as anorexia? That’s not okay, it’s not okay to glorify diseases. What if they were putting on the shirts “Get Mono” people wouldn’t be okay with that because it’s a physical disease, but as soon as it’s something mental it’s okay. Even as I’m looking up information for this post, I found out from The Huffington Post that they now have a shirt that is literally covered in the word depression (which luckily they were smart enough to pull from the shelves). Why? Be happy! If you do not actually have one of these mental disease, stop trying to act like you do. Stop reblogging those pictures of slit wrists, stop supporting stores like Urban Outfitters, don’t go on tumblr and favorite all of those posts about how suicidal poems are so beautiful, instead talk someone out of committing it.

You can be someone's light, you can change someone's life.
You can be someone’s light, you can change someone’s life.

Like this, you don’t have to be the kid on the left, you can be the girl on the right. You can make a difference. When you have the option to be happy or sad, wouldn’t you want to be happy? If you see someone wallowing in their self pity you can try and fix it, you don’t have to let them be miserable, be their friend. Sometimes the only thing that people need is a friend or a person to talk to. Make that difference, change someone’s life, be there for someone.

The more you smile the more in life you'll enjoy, and then the less you'll have to regret.
The more you smile the more in life you’ll enjoy, and then the less you’ll have to regret.

Do you really want to look back on your teenage years and be like man that was pathetic? What are you going to do when your kids ask you about your teenage years? I’m sure they will be glad to hear that you spent every night wallowing in self-pity when really there was nothing wrong. Side note: I am only talking to the people who treat depression and other mental illnesses as a trend, if you have any of these that I mention, I am not talking to you, please don’t be offended. If you smile more and have fun with life and embrace every moment you’ve been given you’re on the right track to being happy. Can we please stop glorifying things like depression, anorexia, and self harm and instead glorify happiness, butterflies, and flowers? I mean I know my posts aren’t always the happiest or most peppy things in the world, but I’m not a sad person all the time, I would say I am happier more than I am sad, I laugh more than I cry, no matter how angry I am I still find something to smile about (after I yell usually). Don’t follow this new “trend” because it’s not a trend, it’s something that real people struggle with and the more of a trend that it becomes the worse life it going to get for those who are actually suffering.

Well I think that’s it for this but this is just something that’s been driving me crazy and I saw Troye’s tweets this week and I was like okay this week is the week for this post. Anyway, I hope everyone can see that these are real diseases that people struggle with and they aren’t just some fad. Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

Mary

Answer

January 16: George Clooney

Question

January 17: What World War II Allied offensive was given the whimsical code name Chattanooga Choo Choo?