30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 10

blog challenge day 10

Education is something that is so valuable and it saddens me to think that not everyone has the same opportunities. I use Tabs for a Cause which I found via Katie and whenever I donate my hearts I usually choose human rights or education. I believe that people should have more exposure to education. I know that I am privileged when it comes to my own education because I have the opportunity to receive a higher education. I know that sometimes I take it for granted. On test days when I didn’t study quite enough or I don’t think I’m as prepared as I should be I pray that we have a snow day or delay so it gets pushed back- a girl in third-world country would take advantage of any educational opportunity given to them.

As a college student I should take my education very seriously and I think that it’s something I try to do. I also think that it’s important that others recognize how valuable their education is. I wish that there was a way to better the world’s education process. I mean first we would have to make America’s a logical thing that doesn’t focus on testing and then maybe other places would take our advice when it comes to education.

Education is such a valuable resource that we don’t focus on enough. Rather than focus on what kids are learning the education system is built around whether or not they can pass a test or make it to the next level of education. Have I ever learned how to do my taxes or pick insurance or even cook in school? No, but I took Honors Pre-Calc and learned how to find the slope of a parabola and I can guarantee you that I have not done it since and what will I do with my amazing essay writing skills? Write my college research papers? What will that get me in the communications field after college? While yes, I learned amazing skills in school but they so many of them were just trying to prepare me for the next step in my educational life not my real life. Education is a resource that needs to be expanded and reformed. Let’s focus on teaching kids how to be professional rather than teaching them the dress code is so they don’t distract boys. Let’s remind them that there’s more to life than school. Let’s remind them how to do life skills.

Education is so important we need to learn important things rather than the SATs and ACTs.

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I didn’t know it was that bad…

So I’m on Facebook today and I see I have a message from my grandmother, okay that’s not really strange, except the message was. I saw my extended family twice over break which was nice because I never really get to see them that often, but I guess they saw a change in me.  She let me know that I could go over to her house anytime to have a good cry.  I guess it’s becoming more noticeable in my personality that I am unhappy. This is not who I want to be! I want to be happy, I want to feel confident in myself, I don’t want to feel so much anger and resentment towards myself all the time.  I didn’t know it was becoming such an overwhelming look to me.  I mean my mom didn’t even notice a few weeks ago! Hasn’t really gotten that much worse? I don’t know what I am even doing any more. I feel like everyday I have an internal battle with myself to not drop out. I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to be a “small town girl” any more.  I came here for change and I don’t think I’m getting it.  Maybe I’m not putting myself out there enough, but I feel like every time I try I get shot down again!

I’m back to blaming the prom guy.  I seriously don’t think I’ll ever be that happy again, and I will always resent him for making me feel happy in the first place.  If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t know what it felt like to have that pure bliss of happiness. That’s what really crushed me about the whole “I don’t like you” thing.  Not that he didn’t like me, but that he made me so happy and he had to take it away.  Maybe that’s part of the problem too, now I know what it’s like to feel like that.  I will always have the desire to feel like that again but I can’t.  I know, I know what you’re going to say, “Wait, the right guy is sure to come and you’ll feel a thousand times better!” but no I don’t want to wait.  

I saw a tweet last night that said you reach your lowest point of happiness at age 45 and I really hope that’s not true.  I don’t even want to imagine what it will feel like then. I feel like I’m at an all time low.  This is worse than the fifth grade when my best friend moved away and I wouldn’t talk to anyone for a week, mostly because I’m a “grown-up” now and I have to talk to people and I can’t lock myself away like I did when I was ten.  

I tried to find something here that makes me happy it just didn’t work out.  I am the treasurer of the class here, but no one tells me if we’re ever even doing anything.  There has yet to be a meeting about it. I joined Model United Nations, something I’m actually good out but they never give me information, and I try my best to be the ass-kissing freshman so they keep me around.

I think this is a big reason that I want to transfer. I’m so tired of feeling like shit all the time.  Thanksgiving was awesome because I finally got to be with my friends again, even if the one did seem to be lying more than usual.  I guess I just have to make it through the next 16 days until winter break and I have a month off to spend time with my friends and family.  Maybe things will be better next semester. I can only hope right?

So sorry about the super depressing post.  It sucks. Sorry, feel free to ignore this whole thing.  I just had to get this out because I don’t have anyone to talk about my feelings with so I write them to share with the internet. Whatever.  Thanks to those of you who did read this far, it means a lot. Seriously. 

XOXO

Mary 

Studying Part 2?..?

So I think I may have talked about studying a little bit before. This is something I am not particularly good at because in high school I never really did. If I was in a hard class I let myself struggle but there’s only been two math classes that I have gotten less than a “B” in, all of my other classes were either A’s or B’s.  Now I’m in college and I really want to do well, but I actually have to study. This is weird because I want to do well, and I would have done a lot better in high school if I would’ve studied.   I just finished Arabic flashcards for a QUIZ tomorrow, not even a test! Now I’m studying for my mass media midterm and tomorrow I have to study for my History exam (which I probably don’t have to study too hard for). For me this is just weird because I am not used to this at all. I would maybe read over some stuff in high school here or there, look at my notes, or maybe make some flash cards for a final, but never for little exams or quizzes.

Basically my point is that just because you’re good at school in high school it does not mean that you will be good at school in college, a little more effort may need to be put forth in studying. So this was a short little piece on my studying life.

Sorry I’m still kinda in a funk, hopefully I’ll be better soon.

Also this is a little side note question- did any of you watch my YouTube video? Should I do another?

Okay well I love all 22 of you maybe I’ll do a little tag post out of excitement and such.  Thanks for reading guys it means the world to me.

XOXO

Mary

Appologies. And Other Stuff

Looking back on this afternoon I realized that my post was super lame so I decided to double up on today’s postings.

Now since I didn’t really think about this I’m not really sure what to write about… I guess I could just ramble ramble and ramble. So I guess that I’ll just tell you guys about what’s going on.

So far I’ve had three papers, one test, three labs, two projects, dozens of quizzes and an immeasurable amount of homework. I’ve been doing okay in my classes. I have an either a low A or a high B in history from two assignments, a high C in my Mass Media from only one assignment and it better get higher or I’m going to be pissed, a high B in math, and a mid B in Arabic. Now these grades are not my best and I expect them to improve, however college is harder and there is more factoring into this so I guess I need to work harder as well.

My friends here are okay, but they’re nothing like the ones I have back home. I miss them so much, and that’s what makes me realize that they will be my best friends for life and nothing will ever change that.

I feel like my weight has been fluctuating a lot here. I work out and eat less most days but I feel like one bad day destroys it all. That’s just another random thing about college.

My roommate and I get along for the most part. She likes to get drunk and have sex and she’s basically cheating on her boyfriend, but other than that we’re cool. She likes Harry Potter so we can be friends.

I hope this little burst of knowledge about me makes up for my super sucky post earlier today, but I would really appreciate it if you went out and checked out my YouTube channel, it would mean a great deal to me. Thanks so much for reading guys. I love you all so much.

You can also follow me on twitter @mrmilligan13

XOXO

Mary

Major Desicions (literally)

Oh my gosh guys, I am so sorry on the super long update! I want to say I’ve been busy (and it’s kinda true) but to be one hundred percent honest I just kept forgetting and remembering at the most inconvenient of times.  I have been keeping pretty busy with homework, studying and yesterday was my birthday so I was out with my friends most of the day. In my free time I’ve been crocheting my friend a scarf for her birthday so there’s that too. Anyway so pretty much this is gonna be a quick post on the decision to pick a major because I have to leave for class soon.

So I go to a liberal arts school, which pretty much means you try a bunch of different stuff and you don’t start concentrating on your major until the later years and here I don’t even declare until sophomore year. Currently my major of intent in Communications with a concentration in Journalism and either a major or minor in Political Science but lately I’ve been considering either adding Social Work or taking away communications and adding that in. I’m not really sure. But this is a HUGE decision. After I graduate I really want to either go to the Middle East or India and teach young women how to read and speak English so that they can go to college and go out in the world and do something else with their lives so they don’t have to be just mothers and teachers, they can be scientists and historians and doctors. So I’m just not sure how to do money with that. Anyway let me know your opinions on majors and shit, I have to get ready for class. Sorry about the short post everyone!

XOXO

Mary