So I’ve been 22…

hello-ive-been

Okay so I didn’t write last year (2016) around my birthday, why? Because I wasn’t writing. Am I getting better now? A little bit but not really. So, in order to try and be a better blogger I’m going to write about 22 so far.

Here’s the thing: I’m feeling it, I’m feeling 22. It’s my Taylor Swift year, and that’s the best way to look at it as a positive thing in my opinion. I have not been taking aging in my twenties thus far very gracefully, each year is met with extreme expectations that are never quite met with the enthusiasm that I picture to be. So, by making this my Taylor Swift year I’m attempting to live my life like the “22” song that everyone seems to be quoting on their Instagrams this fateful year. As well as a host of all the Taylor Swift songs that I’ve ever aspired to see myself in.

Now, I’m the first of my friends for the most who turned 22 back in September, so that’s always been like an existential thing for me, it just makes me feel older than I am. However, I would say this was definitely the best celebration yet for 22 and I had started off my year on quite the kick. By that I mean I got pretty drunk with some of my best friends. I think that set a precedent for 22. Yes, I’m drinking more than I ever have (once a week, chill out, nothing too crazy) but it’s okay. This is my last year as  a pre-adult so I’m doing whatever I want for one more year and I think that’s really okay.

22 so far has been a time for self-actualization and self-love. I’ve been letting myself really do what I want, I mean I’m sure the Zoloft helps with that, but I’m finally doing things that I’ve always wanted to but stopped myself from doing. While I’m still often referred to as mom, I’m doing less-momish things and putting myself first sometimes. Not all the time, I do still have a problem saying no, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’ve also gotten a lot better at trying to make my life work for me, and at the end of the day what’s going to make me happy.

22 so far has been a time for friendships and lack of toxic relationships. The week after my birthday I started cutting out people who were toxic to me because that isn’t something I need to deal with. So I’ve worked on friendships with people who equalize their relationship with me, if that makes sense. Yes friendships are a two-way street, and sometimes they require more give than take, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time. So I found new friends, grew old friendships, formed new ones, and left the bad ones. There are too many good people in this world to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

22 so far has been a time for thoughts surrounding my future, as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing for the past four years of college. However, now it’s different. It’s more real. I’m applying for jobs, seeing what is best for me and my future. I have to think about things like benefits and the cost of living in cities where I apply to jobs compared to the salary. It’s a lot to think about.

So far, I think 22 has been good to me, maybe I’ll update you when I turn 23 about how the rest of the year goes. For now, I’m feelin’ 22.

Are you 22? Did you learn something new about yourself when you were?

signature

Advertisements

My Final Semester

change

Tomorrow is my last first day of school. I might’ve said that last semester, but really this is the last one. I have never been so excited but so nervous for school to be over.

It’s weird because this is really the beginning of the end. Five months from now I’m going to be a “real” adult. No more walk-in meal under the lump sum of my meal plan, same with the apartment. Work will no longer be holding babies and doing random things for the marketing department (okay depending on how things work out that could still be a thing) but really, my life is about to really change over the next few months.

I cannot begin to describe how quickly the past four years have gone and how much I have changed. I really do feel like it was just yesterday I was dreading going back for another semester, and this year I was itching to get back. Reflecting on my time at Hood has been amazingly reassuring to me, as well as my future.

I’m not good at change, and I never have been, yet it’s something I’ve craved for as long as I can remember. Maybe it’s because of my major FOMO and I want to know what else the world can offer me, if it’s not that I don’t know what it could be. However, whenever I get to the new I end up afraid of missing what I left behind which is probably why I hated my freshman year of college.

I think the greatest lessons I learned during my time here so far, well those outside of class includes who to trust, how to get to that point, and not everyone changes/evolves at the same rate as you. College has allowed me to meet a lot of people and realize what I’m looking for not only in friends but mentors and bosses.

signature

A Year in Review: 2015

It’s that time of year again. The time when I reflect back on my year, 2014 was a reflection, but I prefer the Year in Review of 2013, so that’s the title of this one. All in all, 2015 was a strange year, a good year, but a strange one. Looking back at it, it’s like I lived this life that wasn’t mine, I don’t know if that makes sense. For the most part my anxiety has greatly subsided and only surfaces at the most inconvenient of times, like parking lots, highways, riding bicycles through London, and when I have too much stuff to be done. My blogging hit a creative roadblock for a while and that was really hard for me to deal with, I just wanted to create great things and I couldn’t. Recently, I’ve been feeling better about that though and that helps a lot. 2015 brought the biggest adventure of my life yet, I lived in another country for three months, and that was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever done. If I had to describe 2015 in a phrase it would be: unexpectedly expected.

January

In January it seemed as if I was going through some self-evaluating. I had almost all classes for my major and minor and it lead to some major self reflection and evaluating. This was the semester that I went back to school and I felt content for the first time about that. Before there was always that bit of dread, but not that semester. Molly, Eric, Logan, and I all went on a little day trip to a bookstore in Harrisburg and to Chocolate World.

February

February is when the not blogging every day kicked in and I started to slack. I celebrated being single with two Galentines days I think I failed the 3-5 days a week. In order to try and combat this I started the 30 Day Blog Challenge. This is also when my blogging rut began. There were highs and lows of it throughout the year. However, because blogging had hit a rut, I was enjoying my life. This is also the last month that I would go home for the job that I hated so much.

March

At school March means spring break, which usually means a week of working, for me, it meant quitting my job. I had never quit a job before so it was this huge step for me in my life. I was kind of afraid, but also so glad that I did. I quit in order to go Florida with my friends for spring break, which was a great decision if you ask me. This was also the month where I honestly almost stopped blogging if I’m being honest. I hit a rut, I didn’t always enjoy blogging, I stopped doing the 30 Day Blog Challenge, I was at the peak of my creative roadblock. March was a month of highs and lows.  However, by the end of the month I felt that I was slowly climbing out of my rut and onto better. This was also the month I found out that I had been accepted to go to Dublin for the semester, it was official that I would be studying abroad in the fall.

April

To be honest. I don’t remember anything about April.  April is a weird month where nothing really happens. We had May Madness at my school and it was like 45 degrees outside. I don’t know why we had May Madness in April, I think it had something to do with finals week. Other than that, I feel like April is such a filler month. It’s project after project and paper after paper, other than that there’s not much to it.

May

May means the end of school. This year, I went home without a job and with fewer friends waiting for me than I was leaving, and it just felt weird. Normally I go home to a routine and this time I was going home to job application after job application. All of this time was good for me to start to get ready for studying abroad. I went on some hikes and just took some time for myself. At the end of the month, I was back working at my new job that I love.

June

 

I started LNBM in June which is the best and worst thing I’ve ever done for this blog. While it greatly feeds my laziness in the blogging department, it always seems to decently well with readers. I also continued my visits to Frederick to see Logan, Molly, and Eric. They also came to PA a few times, it was easier for me to go there just with schedules and everything. June was another month of severe bloggers block. However, this was the first time I didn’t keep it a secret. I was open and straight forward about it, which I think made it easier to write.

July

In July I went back to Florida, this time with my family. I got to accomplish a life dream, to stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and see the giraffes from my hotel window. I also got to experience the magic of the updated Harry Potter World, which was absolutely amazing. The bloggers block start to wear off a little bit and I felt like I was doing good in the blog world.  I always start to get a little restless in July. I’m ready for a set schedule and this summer I just never really got that. I like structure, and there was not a lot of structure in my life this past summer, which was probably a good experience.

August

August was a month of restlessness. I felt stagnate.  Everyone was getting ready to back to college and I was just waiting. Do you know that night before you leave before you go on vacation? That’s how August was for me. To me the world was paused, crawling until I made it until September when I could finally go to Dublin for the semester. I did go on my first solo trip to the beach which was the type of relaxation I really needed. I don’t like to wish away time, but at the time I was just wishing that August would just hurry up already. I celebrated my 21st birthday and going away with family and friends.  My friends slowly started returning to college and I continued to work, just waiting for the day that it was my turn to leave.

September

September started with two visits to Hood. I finished working, went down for Eric’s birthday and then the next day I was off for Dublin. This was the start of my greatest adventure. This was the part of the year that I was looking forward to the most. After all of the paperwork errors and thoughts crossing my mind that I would never be able to actually go, it was time for me to go. I left on September 13 and got to Dublin on the 14. Right away we had walking tours, bus tours, and just sightseeing things. I had my 21st birthday in a different country where it doesn’t really matter because the drinking age is 18 there, but still I turned 21, that’s a big birthday, or so they say. I visited the Cliffs of Moher and just explored Dublin.

October

October was when life started to get crazy. I went to Howth which is a small little suburb type place of Dublin. I went to Paris to meet up with my dad who was on business, how many 21 year-olds can say that? Then I went to Galway, another little seaside town for a night with my friends. I ended in October in London, England. That’s just absolutely crazy. I did so much in one month.

November

I feel like November was yesterday, it went by literally in the blink of an eye. I went to London (again) and Brighton. I also went to Madrid and Sevilla. I was away from Dublin for a whole week and then I made the decision to not travel again while I was away and enjoy my last four weeks in Dublin. This is the first time any of my pictures from Sevilla are being posted, the adventure post will come soon. My family came for Thanksgiving and I got to enjoy more time with them which was great. When I said at the beginning that looking back on this year it’s like looking at someone else’s memories, that’s what November is for me, it’s so surreal that it seems like someone else’s life.

December

December brought an end to my biggest adventure. I spent my last two and a half weeks in Dublin with final assignments and seeing as much of the city as possible, going to all of my favorite places and just taking everything in before I left. Then I headed home. It’s still weird being home. It’s been about two and a half weeks now and it’s still just weird. I’m not used to it yet. I’ve been trying to see all of my home friends and family before I head back to school in a little over a week. I went to Frederick for an interview

2015.

All in all, 2015 was great. It was just a whirlwind of a year. It was a year of new friends, new people, new experiences, and new places. The last fourth of 2015 could be described as the year of new, and I want to keep that going. 2015 was great, but I’m ready for some more change. I don’t like change, but I don’t know, I feel like 2016 is the year of change. Resolutions to come tomorrow!

Happy New Year Everyone!

signature

An Interview with Eric Stone

IMG_0026 (2)

In case you’ve been living under a rock Eric is my very best friend. Being away from him has been very hard, the longer it gets the more we talk. This interview is long overdue, I’m pretty sure we started it shortly after my interview with Becca, it might have even been the same day. However, he wanted to restart it and wipe out the old answers since he is currently in a different state of mind. Let me know who you think I should interview next!

Mary: What do you want my readers to know about you?

Eric: I’m an acquired taste, but even more so I’m a work in progress. 

Mary: If you had to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? 

Eric: An acquired taste. 

Mary: What are your goals?

Eric: My overarching goal is to be happy. However, I want to be happy as well as having had made the world a better place in some regard. 

Mary: What are your hobbies?

Eric: I watch a lot of cat videos recently, but I swear that’s not a complete depiction of who I am. I absolutely love eating food though and it shows (Mary’s note, it does not, that’s a lie). Also, I love to dance, spend time with friends making memories, and I get a sadistic pleasure or high ripping the sheets off of people’s beds when I lay in them or sit in them.

Mary: Did you like the cat video I sent you with the baby?

Eric: Oh my God I didn’t watch it. That’s been bothering me.

Mary: What are some fun facts about you? Because I love fun facts

Eric: My favorite color is purple. My favorite animal is a platypus. I speak French. I hate koalas and pigs. I’m terrified of heights. 

Mary: What book character do you closely identify with?

Eric: Holden Caulfield. At the most basic level, I connect heavily to his level of cynicism. 

Mary: What’s your biggest achievement?

Eric: My biggest achievement…? That’s hard. So, my biggest achievement is also an achievement of any other people, such as my parents and teachers, which is going to college as a first generation college student. 

Mary: When you were little what did you want to be?

Eric: When I was little I couldn’t make up my mind. I wanted to be a veterinarian, own a flower shop, be a bagger at the grocery store. I wanted to be a dentist. I wanted to be everything.

Mary: What’s the best compliment you’ve received?

Eric: That’s so hard, I’m trying to pick. Not to sound like I “Oh my God I have so many” I’m trying to sift through the memories, I’m trying to really think about it. I like really can’t choose. The one that stands out to me in this moment, but that doesn’t mean that’s the best, it’s the one that’s sticking out to me the most in my head right now, it’s the one that’s stuck with me.  “Eric I just want you to know that you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

Mary: Is there anything else you want to add?

Eric: Yes. As Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That’s about it. Live your life.

And that’s my best friend everyone.

signature

 

 

Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 18

late night blogging with mary

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve done some late night blogging, and really that’s all I have time for right now it seems. I go home in 12 days by the time I hit publish on this post, which is crazy, this semester has gone so quickly. However, I have 8 assignments due before them, I crossed off two today (thank goodness) but it’s stressful and I’m ready to be done with them all.

It’s weird getting ready to go home, it has gone by really fast, but I’m also ready to go home. I’ll miss the people and the city but I really miss my family friend back home, so I’m pretty ready to get home.

A lot’s going on and a lot is about to happen. I was away for a week, saw Molly, and now I’ve been back in Dublin ever since and I’m just trying to make the best out of my last few weeks here. I’m also getting ready to start 12 Days of Christmas on my blog! 12 days of daily blogging!  I do miss that sometimes, so this will either feed the fuel or leave me hungry for more, we shall see.

I’m also very excited for Christmas, I’m almost done my shopping. I love Christmas, I can’t wait to get home to wrap the presets. The things I’m most excited about going home are as followed: IHOP, wrapping Christmas presents, and having an oven. That’s obviously not including seeing everyone. I really miss IHOP, it will be breakfast on Sunday. Well maybe dinner because it’s so crowded Sunday morning and afternoon, you just have to time out the meal times. Also, I’m excited for American Netflix, some options are better here, but there are a lot fewer.

Let me rant about housing back home for a second. They won’t tell me who I can live with, they are literally just going to stick me with some random person in some random building which is absolutely absurd if you ask me. I’m so annoyed. It doesn’t make sense for them, and it doesn’t make sense for me. I can’t even fill out a form to see who I would be most compatible with. It’s just ridiculous. They wouldn’t let me save a spot, their recommendation for study abroad students is to live in language housing, providing no recommendations for people who are studying in an English speaking country. It’s really helpful. I’m annoyed.

Anyway, I’m beyond ready for bed. What’s going on in your life?

signature

Happy Thanksgiving!

Untitled

Happy Thanksgiving! To be quite honest, it does not feel like Thanksgiving, I went to class today. However, my family is almost back to Dublin! I don’t think I mentioned at all yet that they have been visiting this week which I’m so thankful for, it’s so nice to have them here for the holiday because it’s my favorite holiday and if they weren’t here I would be super homesick.

Anyway, I’ve been doing really good with blogging recently, I hope to keep it that way. I’ll be doing a LNBM for an update probably one day this week. For today I just want to share what I’m thankful for.

  • My parents. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be studying abroad, I wouldn’t have traveled nearly as much as I have been. They are so supportive and encouraging of me, and I would like them to know how much I appreciate and how grateful and thankful I really am.
  • My sisters. While they drive me crazy, I love having two sisters. They are so supportive and always there when I need them.
  • The rest of my family. I think I am very blessed in the family department. I’m really missing all of them today.
  • My old friends. I have the absolute best friends, from college, from home, from the internet. Every day I am reminded that I am so blessed for the friends that I have. It’s nice to know wherever I go, someone is always there for me.
  • My new friends. They have made my trip here amazing, the experience even more special than I expected it. Now I have friends throughout the whole US which is pretty amazing.
  • My corner of the internet. Whenever I’m having an off day I have this place that I can come and write my feelings out, not judged, with people who can relate.
  • My school and studying abroad. I know that I am extremely fortunate to be receiving a level of higher education, and more specifically this semester, to be so lucky travel abroad and see the world.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you have a great day with your friends and family. Even if you aren’t celebrating take a minute to remember what you are thankful for today! Hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

signature

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 3

zhy9kjtz

(source)

Okay so maybe I went the unconventional route with this challenge, and didn’t take it too seriously but that’s how I like to do life. This is a quote from one of my favorite TV shows “Parks and Recreation”. I think this quote is very suitable for myself, however I must also include family with friends.

Leslie Knope is an inspiration to all. Like talk about an empowering woman, Leslie is a powerful, amazing, positive, breakfast loving woman, and all around very inspiring to me, which is why I thought it was very important to make it my last quote. She’s just this huge feminist icon in my opinion, feel free to disagree, but when I think feminism I think Leslie Knope.

I think this just suits me and my love for breakfast foods, especially IHOP, and that sometimes, maybe I can prioritize that over people, but not really. They might almost be equal because whenever I talk to my friends from back home I just go on and on about how I miss IHOP.  However silly it may seem, it really holds some truth to it though. Friends and family, waffles, work.

I really appreciate the last part, always put work third. Work should never be the first priority because than nothing is going to matter, and I think people forget about that. There is this idea that work is what makes you money so it has to go first, but really what makes you happy needs to go first.

So my list would probably go: God, friends and family, breakfast*, school/blogging/work. I put blogging in the work category since it takes up so much time, more time than a hobby, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I do need to remember not to put it first, because I did have a tendency to do that when I was daily blogging. You need to put people and the things that really enrich your life first.

What would your list be like?

If you are confused by this post, be sure to check out yesterday’s and Sunday’s posts to catch up! Thanks again to Getting Through Anxiety for challenging me to this, I’ve had a lot of fun with it! I didn’t challenge anyone like I was supposed to, but I really encourage everyone to try it, it really makes you think not only about  your favorite quotes,  but about what they really, truly mean to you.

signature

*Half joking about breakfast being that high up on the list, half not joking.

 

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 1

415eab6b346f067b3143dd2fca799ef5

(image)

First, here are the rules for the challenge:

1.) Thank the person who nominated you

2.) Select a quote for the next three days and write about it

3.) Nominated 3 other bloggers for the challenge!

Thank you so much B for nominating me for this challenge, it’s perfect! If you haven’t checked B out, her blog is Getting Through Anxiety, be sure to check it out!

I chose the quote “Things change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anyone,” which is from my favorite book and movie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and it’s just a few short sentences but they mean a lot to me. I Since even starting my blog the people featured have changed drastically People change, they leave, and life goes on. I feel like sometimes the world is just moving around me and everything just keeps going. Life does not stop.

I’ve wrote before how I just expect to see people stick around, I expect to be friends with people forever, but that’s just not practical. People leave and life still goes around me. You just have to move on around that. Things will change, I will leave other people, not intentionally, that’s just life. I like how bluntly The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky puts everything and approaches mental illness and the way Charlie (the main character) sees life and his perspective.  To me this quote sums up 2015 to me.

Things change, things get better, you move on with the world, you keep going with the world. You adapt to the changes, the friends who left become distant memories, you grow more fond of the memories than the actual moments then when they were there. Everything is glorified in memories, and that’s probably a good thing. That gives you the ability to move on, remember the good things.

Things change, both good and bad, friends will leave, but the world will still go on around you.

I nominate anyone who’s reading this to also participate, if you chose to do so, please just let me know so I can make sure to check out and read your blog!

signature

B.G’s Guest Post: Online Friends

Currently I am galavanting (kind of) through Europe. Currently in the UK and probably enjoying the Lush on Oxford St far too much. Today B from Getting Through Anxiety, a good internet friend of mine, wrote a guest post for me! Enjoy her post on online friends and share it with your online friends!

Hey guys! This is B.G. from gettingthroughanxiety.wordpress.com. Since Mary won’t be able to  post from November 7th-15th, she asked if I would write a post for her, and I was more than happy to do so.  So, I’ve decided to write about (drumroll please…) online friends!

When I first started blogging, I honestly didn’t expect much of a turnout. Don’t get me wrong, I think I thought I would learn from the experience, but I didn’t really expect many people to read it, let alone “follow” it. For one thing I didn’t think that many people would be interested in reading about anxiety and for another, I just didn’t know how many people would discover my blog in the first place.

However, I slowly saw people commenting on my blog and to the say the least, I was both surprised and excited. Still, I didn’t think I would get many more readers, let alone meet some of the amazing people that I have.

I’ve always been (and still am), very cautious about how much information I share on the internet and who I share it with. I think while the internet is a great tool for communication, it tends to be misused and people tend to forget about the importance of privacy. With that aside, however, I’ve also come to discover that there are so many amazing people in the world and without the internet, I would have never met them.

Take Mary, for instance. She was one of the first people to stop by my blog and comment. It’s been over a year now and I still talk to her and here I am, guest blogging for her! Now, I’m still cautious about how much information I give away, but I’ve learned that it is possible to make great friends with people online, even if there’s the chance you’ll never meet them in person.

Through blogging, I’ve learned that there are so many people who experience similar issues that I do. Also, not only have I found a place where I can talk about my anxiety, but I’ve also found individuals that I can talk to about simple, fun things with like TV shows that I like and thought I never would or a mutual love for poetry and animals.

Something that I’ve learned is that if you do it right, friendships that you make online can be just as wonderful as the ones you forge in real life. Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to be able to meet some of my blogger friends, but due to safety reasons, I don’t feel that’s always the best option. I have, however, met some wonderful people online and hold them very close to my heart.

The point is, that whether you forge a friendship through means of technology or through a one on one encounter with the individual, these friendships are still important and should be held in the highest regard. I’m so happy to have met so many of the people I have through writing my blog and that we’re able to share our experiences with one another.

So…I hope you’ve all enjoyed this post and stay tuned for Mary’s return! :)

 

Things that Confuse Me: Part 2

There are a lot of things in life I don’t quite understand. So here’s an extension of Things that Confuse Me with added things and advice from my friends here in Dublin (well Galway for the night).

  1. Jenna says fridges, but I think it’s cold water and fans, so Jenna just needs to understand.
  2. Why are flowers romantic? They die.
  3. Rain taxes. It’s natural and you can’t help it.
  4. Why people in Maryland are so obsessed with Maryland. They love the state so much, yes it’s cool, but the flag is everywhere. I just don’t understand.
  5. Jayden, the Californian, why people feel comfortable shortening the name to Cali as if they’re close to the state, like they’re friends?
  6. Jenna says, why people think that everyone in Texas owns a horse, but are surprised when they find out she was in FFA?
  7. Jayden says how can silk be a nasty spider web and a nice shirt?
  8. Why leg hair grows the opposite way on the back of your legs
  9. Reality tv, how is it so good? It’s people leaving over dramatic lives.
  10. Why do walls sweat? Like condensate when it gets hot. (Jayden)
  11. How does a 100 degree bath burn you, but your body is already nearly 100 degrees?
  12. Scabs. Your body just stops the bleeding.

What confuses you? These are just a few of many.

signature