Amidst the Rebrand

I’ve been pretty absent this year and there’s a lot of excuses I can make for it, but at the end of the day there really isn’t a reason for it other than I just was unmotivated.

Recently, I met with the career center about rebranding and what my brand should be, all of that fun stuff that I will be dealing with in the next several months. With that came some disappointment, well not quite disappointment but some confusion. While I felt really good about myself afterwards, what it has basically come down to is that I have a few options:

  1. Completely start over (not going to happen)
  2. Private things that future employers might be turned off by (i.e. my opinion)
  3. Do nothing and maybe get somewhere by the luck of the draw

While I got some great advice for what my brand should be, we talked about making everything that doesn’t fit my new brand (post-college stuff and struggles) private. I just feel so icky about doing that for some reason. I have no idea why but making parts of my blog that has really been my identity for the past three years private feels so wrong.

I also feel odd about holding back my opinions. I have a lot of them, they are no longer weekly rants (lol at the old daily blogger) but they’re still in my head. She said that things (like my Trump piece) could turn a future employer off from hiring me. At the same time, do I want to work for a company that suppresses my opinions, or support Donald Trump? The answer is a very strong no.

However, the coolest part about the whole meeting was learning how to be a mommy blogger without the kids. She explained to me that post-college life is weird, friends will leave, get married, that I’ll go through jobs and cities, and it’s just a weird time and that’s what I should be writing it. I get to write about everything I love and I don’t really have to pick a particular niche.

The future of my blog excites me. I’ve spent a lot of the time that I haven’t been blogging researching it and what to do about certain things pertaining to my blog and the “industry” as well.

The weirdest thing to me about my relationship with Mary’s Average Adventures is how afraid I am of it. I love blogging (more than anything) and I really love this site and everything I’ve created around it, but I’m so afraid to see what will happen to it. I’m afraid to see it fall or change too much. I’m afraid of forgetting about it. And really I’m afraid that I will never be the right person to let it live up to it’s full potential. I’ve treated my blog like a child to me for ages, I brag about it, tell people all the cool things that it has done for me and yet, I also don’t take care of it like I should. Oh man, if this was a real child it definitely would have been taken away from me for neglect. Well, thank goodness it can’t breathe.

Anyway, I guess this is basically just another post on what I’m doing with the site. And believe me it’s getting there. Actually within the next few days it’s going to be the 12 days of Christmas again so you’ll be hearing a lot more from me!

signature

Advertisements

Majoring in “I Don’t Know What to Do”

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how I don’t have a thing. There’s never been one thing that I’m really good at and just sticks with me. I haven’t found what a lot of people would call, their calling with what to do with the rest of their life. Here I am, obsessed with social media, but that’s not a calling, it’s just an interest. I’m not exceptionally good at social media by any means. Just above 200 followers on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr, that’s not excelling, that’s about average, slightly more on Instagram, slightly less on Tumblr. Here I have the most, around the mid 400s but this hasn’t changed in nearly a year. I’m becoming stagnant.

I think in life I’ve always just wanted to have a “thing” something that I’m just really good at. I know that everyone doesn’t have a thing, I just wish that I did. I’m a Communication Arts major which means it’s something I would say is questioned more often than a lot of majors. I never ask a bio major why they’re a bio major, I just assume that they’ll do research or go to med school. And maybe because I don’t ask, I’m just assuming that they aren’t asked why they’re a bio major, but I’m constantly asked why I’m a communications major. I have a feeling it’s because no 5-year-old girl says that she wants to run IHOP’s Twitter.

When it comes to my answer, it’s often times not acceptable for people. I usually say, well I don’t want to teach, and I only want to learn about post Civil War, so I can’t be a history major.  There’s just nothing that’s ever really stuck out to me, communications has offered the most options for me. For a while I was headed towards political science, however, I just find it so exhausting to argue. There’s just always been something wrong with everything else, so what it comes down to, is I’m a communications major because I don’t know what else to do.

I once told the career center that, they were not pleased. They suggested I change my major, which pushed me to never want to talk to them again about anything. I’m majoring in “I don’t know what to do” is that okay?

I know I go back and forth on topics like this all the time. It’s just that recently I think I’m seeing more and more people fall into their place in life and I just seem to not be able to find that spot for myself. Like yes, I’m excited that I’ll be able to get a job essentially anywhere after college, I just keep questioning if it’s something I want to be doing. I guess  it is since I can’t picture myself doing anything else.

I just feel like I’m in a worldly limbo of almost being finished with my major, but not quite ready to face the world with the choices I’ve made. I still have a year until graduation but I feel like I need more time.

I don’t know. I just needed to get these thoughts out. In a week I’m sure I’ll be back to being thrilled with my choice to be a Communication Arts major, however, today I just wish I had more options. I just don’t know what I would want those options to be.

Anyone else feel the same way? Please tell me I’m not alone.

signature