Everything Happens for a Reason.

I really like the idea that everything happens for a reason and I really always have. Not only is it comforting when things are really bad but it makes life really interesting when you look back on choices you made and the outcomes of such things.

I like to think about what if I would have gone to University of Scranton instead of where I am now, and it would be really different. I might not blog, which that in and of itself is very weird to me at this point. I wouldn’t have the amazing friends that I’ve made here. It’s crazy to think that if I would have gone four hours in a different direction I wouldn’t even know these people.

What if I would have gotten into plays or musicals in high school? Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten a job when I did so maybe I wouldn’t go home once a month or maybe I wouldn’t have gone to Europe and met Lindsay and discovered my love for travel.

I think that it’s important that everyone just keeps in mind that everything does happen for a reason. Like even when things are really bad I like to remember that it’s happening for a reason and something really positive could come out of it. Negatives don’t always have to be negatives and my plan is to see the light in every problem because you never know when bad news can lead to good news.

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An Ordinary Life?

I think one of my biggest fears is living a bland and ordinary life. I know that may seem weird because my blog is my “average” adventures but that doesn’t mean I want nor do I plan on living an average life. Firstly it’s important that you know how I define an average life which is, graduating college, getting a job, getting married, having kids, and so on and so forth.

After college I think a lot of people get caught up in what I like to refer to as the “real world”. While this is good and dandy for people who would like to participate I would rather not do that and I want to experience my world. I’m not going to lie, it would be good for me to participate in life more, and I think I’m getting there. This doesn’t mean that I think I should spend my whole life behind a cubicle socializing with other cubiclites. I don’t know what I want to do, but sitting at a desk is not for me.

I think there’s this image of us, the image of what we are supposed to do with our lives. We don’t have to do that. The idea of an ordinary life is comfortable, I mean who doesn’t want to be comfortable? But just because you’re comfortable it doesn’t mean that’s what will make you happy. To me being happy long term is much better than being comfortable long term.  An ordinary life, or an average life to me is just boring. I obviously crave adventure. I don’t know why anyone would want to settle for ordinary, but for some people I guess that’s the goal.

I believe that everyone has the opportunity to be something great. As people we can be whatever we want, we have options and choices so we should take them. We can also create choices for ourselves. There is nothing that we are obligated to do. If you have the money to run to Europe tomorrow, why not do it? If that’s what you really want to do go for it. There’s nothing stopping you other than yourself.

If you continuously prevent yourself from moving forward or not doing something because you don’t think the timing is right you’re never going to get to the place that you want to be at. What’s the point of even having dreams if you are never going to put forth the effort to accomplish them?

Let’s not settle for ordinary unless that’s actually the goal, okay? Also, there is nothing wrong with wanting ordinary, it’s just not what you have to do because that’s the expectation.

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The Quarter Life Crisis

If you know me in real life I have probably freaked out about this to you about a million times, it’s something I like to call a quarter life crisis, like a mid life crisis, except I’m not there yet. Hopefully. I’ve heard this referred to as a existential crisis as well, however, I made this term up before I really knew what that was. In exactly two months and one day I will be turning 20, approximately a quarter of my life will be completed, and what do I have to show for it? A high school diploma. I’ve spent over two thousand days in school, countless more if you add up the hours spent on homework  and studying, and I still have three more years left. In that three years I will decide what I’m going to do for the last three quarters of my life, and after I graduate I will get a job, and I will work for approximately the next fifty years, then I will retire, maybe with a husband, maybe not, maybe I’ll have kids and grandchildren, maybe not. When you think about life this way it’s really unappealing and it makes me ask the question why most of the time, and to be quite honest I think a lot of people my age are feeling this way.

So I go to college about 7 months of the year, and while I’m there I would say the majority of my friends have been on a path since day one, me not so much. I had a path and wasn’t sure, thought some things through, still wasn’t sure, I’m still thinking things through, and I’m still not sure at all, and what I fail to remember is that there are other people like me. There are people like me who know that they don’t want to sit in an office approximately 260 days a year, but they don’t want to teach either, there are people like me who just want to see what the world has to offer them and they aren’t sure how to do it. These people are having quarter life crises, we’re just trying to find our places when everyone else around us seems to know where they’re going. We’re the people who you ask them what their major is and we might just start to cry, because honestly, you can’t major in “seeing the world” there’s no way to make money that way. We’re the people who if you ask them, do you have any plans for after graduation, the stare is blank, although, I don’t know why I should have an answer for that when I’m only going to be a sophomore anyway.

The other 5 months of the year are spent working and seeing old friends and family, the old friends and family that ask us all of the above questions. The jobs and internships supposedly preparing us for what we want to do, when really we just have no clue. We look forward to vacations and weekends because they’re the escape from the madness. Sometimes. Other times they’re just another way into more madness and more stress. The worst is when someone tells you that “you’re really going places!” and you just want to say “Do you know where? Because if you do I’d love to know” but instead you just smile and say “thanks.”. Oh how put together the quarter life crisis can look when that’s what people expect.

My parent chuckle when I talk about this quarter life crisis, but I swear it’s real. I’ve counted the days spent wasted on learning for a standardized test, counted the hours spent studying for the next, and all I’ve gotten from this nearly 20 years of life is a high school diploma. A high school diploma could get me a general manager position at McDonald’s. Maybe. However, no one told me what I could get with a high school diploma, all they told me was what I couldn’t get without a college diploma, and as I’m getting further into my education, what’s next is what I can’t get without a master’s diploma, what’s next? What I can’t get without a PHD? I’ve spent so much time learning and getting an education, and it’s great, and I don’t take it for granted, however, what’s the most useful thing I’ve learned? How to find the length of a side of a triangle? That hippos sweat pink? What causes leaves to be green? What am I going to do with this information? I haven’t learned about mortgages, renting, loans, credit cards, stocks, anything that will help me in the very near future and the fact that I can’t tell you anything about simple life tasks, but I can tell you about different Presidents that had affairs (too many).

I think when it comes down to it, I’m experiencing this existential crisis, quarter life crisis if you will, all because what I’ve done for the majority of my life is learn pointless information that I used for one test, maybe two, but after that I’ve hardly thought about it again and none of this information has helped me to come to any sort of conclusion of what I want to do with my future. Hell, I picked writing because I did well on the writing portion of my ACT’s and it’s not something I hate doing. So maybe a year from now I’ll feel better about turning 21, but maybe I won’t, and I honestly don’t know if that’s okay or not. I’ve grown up in the world of planning for the future, and I don’t have a plan for the future, and I think that’s why so many of us feel so lost because it’s we don’t see it as accepted to not know.

There’s so much pressure to have the next ten years of your life planned to a tee, at least that’s how I feel. So yes, I am 19 years old experiencing a quarter life crisis and I don’t think I’m alone, let me know how you feel about this in the comments, please tell me I’m not the only one!

XOXO,

Mary.

When I Move Out…

Eventually there will come the inevitable day where I will have to move out of my parents house, not for a while, but eventually. I mean obviously the most ideal time for this would be post graduation, but you never know. Sometimes when I’m bored I just think about what I will do for like decor and such once I have my own house/apartment/building in which I reside, and I thought maybe I would just give you a list (since I haven’t done one of my lists in forever) of what I’m going to do when I have my own place. However, this is providing that I end up very very rich. So basically this is my dream house for eventually, not really right after I move out.

  • Instead of putting up wedding pictures and such since I would like to wait quite a while to get married I’m going to put pictures of myself in frames.
  • All of my tupperware will be the same brand and once the bottom is without a lid or vice versa it will be thrown away.
  • A whole wall filled with white boards to write notes to myself and reminders, along with numerous pads of paper to write lists of things off of the wall.
  • The rest of the walls in the white board room will be filled with book shelves and a sliding ladder so that I can be like Belle in the library.
  • All of my kitchen appliances will match like my microwave, oven, toaster, coffee maker, kitchenaid, fridge, dishwasher, and all of that fun stuff.
  • My bed room will have a tower with a seat around the inside, the roof over this part will be copper so that when it rains it sounds beautiful.
  • The top part of the tower, the cone part, will be filled with my favorite books so that when I’m sitting enjoying the rain I can just pull down a good one.
  • I’ll have one of those old fashioned bathtubs so I can take giant bubble baths, that is if I actually make time for myself for a bath.
  • The guest room will have four different walls, one that they can sign like instead of a guest book, another filled with pictures so they can use a provided polaroid camera so they can take a picture in their favorite part of my amazing home, another wall that’s just a giant map so they can put a pin in where they came from and another for where they’re going next, the last wall will just be plain, the bed has to go against something!
  • I also want just a room for fun, I can go pin up my favorite pictures of the places I’ve been on a huge map again. A nice little office place just to write, a computer, an old typewriter for inspiration, and some beautiful comments around that I’ve been giving on my writing.

Well that’s all I have for the time being. Also incase you were wondering, I do not have writer’s block (my usual reason for making a list), I just wanted to make this one. Thanks for reading everyone, have a great night! :)

XOXO,

Mary.

Unrealistic Expectations

After a year of college and crossing off core topics like language and science, as this happens I add more and more to the list of things I don’t want to do. Language, math, and science are all topics that have made that list so far. This leads me to think about what I should be doing and honestly I don’t know. I have this expectation that one day it’ll like come to me in a dream or something or I’ll be in the right place at the right time and I’ll just fall into it. That is a very unrealistic expectation.

I think I have a lot of these in life, I just expect the best out of everything. Hannah tells me I’m brave, I think I’m crazy. It should probably make me nervous to get from the bus station to Harvard Square by myself at five in the morning, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t scare me to wander cities alone, I just have this expectation that I will be fine. Probably not a good thought process.

I have this expectation for everything that it’s just going to work out the way it should, if I want something I’ll work for it, but if it doesn’t work out my reaction is that it wasn’t supposed to. I only end up really disappointed about half the time, which sounds like a lot, but I get over it pretty quickly. I only dwell on very few things.

I hate that this is what I’m basing my life plan off of. I am just taking everything as it is, seeing what I like and don’t like. For example I like writing, but I hate sitting in office building. My ultimate dream would be to become a travel writer for a magazine, or well, it would be really nice to just use this as a travel blog eventually, however, I have not fallen into blogging, there’s a good amount of you, but not enough to make this a career or anything. This is a hobby. Currently.

I know eventually I’ll figure it out, however I might need to do some searching instead of waiting. There are things that help lead me in the right direction, but right now I’ll just keep making the list of things I don’t want to do.

Before I sign off I just want to again ask anyone with anxiety to contact me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com I’m trying to get some research done for a blog post I want to do. You will remain anonymous, unless requested otherwise.

XOXO,

Mary.

Going Back In Time

If I could go back in time is there anything I would change? I’m not sure I would. I could go back in time and change phrases I said, take back embarrassing moments, change decisions I made, but if I did all of that I wouldn’t be where I am today. I used to think I would go back and take back a lot, but now I’m not so sure.

The biggest thing I would take back is trusting people I shouldn’t have, however then maybe today I would’ve trusted more people and I could be in a bad place. Sometimes I think about how I would different my life would be if I could take back things I said, but I’m the type of person that actually thinks before I speak, so even if I changed what I said, it might make a person feel better, but in the end I just wouldn’t be content as I am now.

If everything happens for a reason then going back in time and changing all of that wouldn’t be a good thing. You would be changing what was supposed to happen, well at least in my opinion. If you change what’s supposed to happen you could miss out on great things in life and that would be so disappointing. I know that my life would be so different now if I would’ve stayed friends with some people I wouldn’t have the good friends I have now, or even if I did I think I would be really pissed a lot of the time.

When it comes down to it, would anyone really want to change the past? I believe that I am content with my life right now that I don’t think that I would ever change anything anyway. Let me know what you think in the comments! Sorry today is short but I start my internship tomorrow and I have stuff to do before I go to bed. Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

Mary.

Determination.

It is 12:17 and this is my third blog post of the night, I guess you could say I am determined to get a good post up tonight- do you get my pun, do you get it? Anyway, determination. I try to picture myself as a determined type of person, I try to get what I want, well what I want within reason and I can control myself. I will never purposefully compromise someone else’s happiness to try to achieve what I want out of life.

In my life I am determined to do good in this messed up world. I am determined to make my life something worth living. Twenty years from now I don’t want to see that I did what I was supposed to do. By that I mean, get a boyfriend, get engaged, graduate college, get a job, get married, have kids, and before I know it I’m nearly forty with my house, kids, and husband, but having none of my dreams accomplished. I think that’s what makes my plan a little bit different, well maybe not different for a lot of you, but where I am, it’s really different. That’s what people do here and I think I’ll be really disappointed in myself if that’s how I go about my life.

After college I want to volunteer, explore the world, see places that I would never even begin to imagine, and I’m determined to make it happen. I’m not going to be one of those girls that ends up in Lancaster the rest of my life, I honestly don’t think there’s anything I would regret more. I want to make a positive impact on the lives of others and I’m not going to do that from the comfort of two neighborhoods over from where I currently live.  I have greater aspirations than that. Right now I have to save up money, figure out how to change lives, but it’s something that I’m going to do. I’m taking on the challenge.

What’s something you’re determined to do? It could be anything, it could even be the traditional life that I don’t really want. Let me know in the comments!

XOXO,

Mary.

Blogging in the Future

I was exploring the internet trying to find inspiration like I normally do when I’m stuck for a post on Sunday nights. I also stumbled upon some mommy blogs, which I love by the way, that’s really weird though. That made me think about the future. I mean hopefully I’m still blogging by that stage in my life, if I ever want to be a mom, but that would be a huge change for me. Right now, I rant, I make lists, I share what I want, will that change will the future? I hope not.

It’s weird to think about that five years from now I’ll have a job (let’s pray I do at least), I could be travelling, I could even be considering marriage and family life more so than now. Five years from now my life will be completely different.

I think it will be interesting to see how not only I but other bloggers I follow start to evolve. I mean most of the one I read I try to relate to, so most just finished their freshman year of college. I hope they’re all still blogging at that point because by then we’ll be moving on to graduate schools, starting families, moving around the country/world. I don’t know it just freaks my mind out. I think it’ll be cool to look back not only on myself, but them as well to see how much their lives have changed.

The thing that seems most peculiar to me, is that one day I’m not just going to wake up and be a mommy/grow-up blogger, it will happen gradually. One day I’ll stop tagging college/university in my posts, one day parent might be there instead. My average adventures instead of walking around the city my college is in there could be appartment/house tours. These aren’t going to be sudden changes though, it’s not going to be out of the blue. It will be a gradual change and that’s so weird.

Future blogging will be so different from current blogging, but it’s one of those things like the quote “day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different” and I guess that just applies to everything.

Leave me your thoughts about what you will be blogging in the future because it’s exciting and weird all at the same time!

XOXO,

Mary.

The Future Tag

I’m feeling lazy today so I decided to do a tag and since I’ve been talking about the future all the time I found a tag about the future.

1.  Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see myself sitting on my computer, blogging and hopefully having some sort of successful career. I would also like to be somewhere really cool with someone I enjoy the company of, maybe a man, maybe just a friend who knows.

2.   Do you want to get married?

I’m not sure. I have yet to meet the right man to marry so I don’t think right now I want to get married but maybe one day I’ll tolerate someone long enough to love and get married to. I would have to really love them though, and it would take me a very long time to want to get married.

3. Do you want to have children?

I think so. I think it would be fun. Even if I don’t get married I think I will adopt and make a little kid have a much better life. Probably from China where orphanages are filled with girls since they are unwanted. I will only have kids if I’m financially stable though.

4. Do you want to move? If yes, where?

For sure, I don’t want to live in Lancaster my whole life. I’m not sure where, I want to be at least a little close to my family but at the same time I love cities like Seattle and Boston so I want to see what else is out there before I decide. I think it really depends on what  I’m doing with my life too.

5.  How does your dream house look like?

I’ve always loved tower houses. I’m not talking about a castle or anything like that, just like a house with a little tower in one of the bedrooms. I also would like it to have a wrap around porch with a swing and steps up to the house. I like yellow ones with green or pink trim. It would also have a library in it and the tower would have a tin roof so I could sit on the little window seat inside and be inspired on rainy days.

6.  What is your dream job?

This? I know that’s not practical but doing this or something like this is really my dream job. Something that I can do and travel with, really just something to pay the bills and support a travelling lifestyle would be fine with me.

7.  What are five things you want to do before you die?

Oh my word there’s so much. I want to see every continent, go to every state, change someone’s life for the better, adopt a child, make sure everyone who has inspired me over the years is well aware that they have done so.

8.  Are you scared of the future?

Very much so. I really like plans and seeing that I don’t have one really scares me. I like to have everything planned and I don’t for the future, heck I don’t really know what my major is and that’s scary. I wish it was five years in the future, I was financially stable and doing something I loved.

9.  What’s your biggest dream you would like to achieve in life?

I would really like to impact the life of someone in a positive way. Whether this is financially or mentally, I just want someone to think of me and be like “she changed my life and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her.” I just really want to matter to someone.

10.  What would be the ideal age for you to die?

I think 100. I really like odd numbers and 100 is an odd amount of numbers and I like that. Also I would like to live for a century.

 

If you have any more questions for me pop them in the comments and I will obviously answer. Thanks for reading guys!

XOXO,

Mary

College, The Debate

So I’ve been at college now for a little over six months, that however does not make me any sort of expert, but I have realized certain things not only about myself but the institution as a whole. Once upon a time I strongly believed that you could not be successful without a college degree unless you wanted to be in some sort of spotlight. This is not true, there are plenty of professions that you can advance in without a college degree, one I recently found out about is banking. There are also many managerial positions in a variety of fields that one can climb the chain of command to obtain. There are paths to successful lives without a college degree.

For me I always looked forward to high school graduation to go to college. It wasn’t until about half way through my senior year that I considered differing a year and taking a gap year. This is actually only one of my best friends Katie knows, so surprise mom and dad, I thought about taking a gap year. Anyway, I obviously didn’t do that, mostly because I was afraid that I would never go back and end up stuck at a dead end job the rest of my life. I believe, no matter how hard it is sometimes, that I did make the right decision to go to college, but really it’s not for everyone. I remember going through the college search and everyone asking me “Can you see yourself there in two years?” and my answer was always no to that specific college, however I still saw myself in college. So I went (came?) and I’m still here.

To be honest, I really don’t think college is for everyone. Obviously if one of my sisters told me they didn’t want to college I would worry for their futures, mostly because I would like to mooch off of them one day (that’s joke), however I would support them. I think a lot of successful people are going to start emerging without college degrees soon. I mean, there are bundles of successful bloggers who are making money and a lot of them are still in college. What it all comes down to, is the question of whether or not you want to do it. It’s a personal thing. I believe that if you have the mindset and passion to do something you’ll do whatever it takes to get it, you’ll be able to reach your goal.

Okay so that’s it for today. I think one of my friends is going to help me with blogvention but I’m open to more! So let me know  if you are interested in helping and planning!

XOXO,

Mary.