So I’ve been 22…

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Okay so I didn’t write last year (2016) around my birthday, why? Because I wasn’t writing. Am I getting better now? A little bit but not really. So, in order to try and be a better blogger I’m going to write about 22 so far.

Here’s the thing: I’m feeling it, I’m feeling 22. It’s my Taylor Swift year, and that’s the best way to look at it as a positive thing in my opinion. I have not been taking aging in my twenties thus far very gracefully, each year is met with extreme expectations that are never quite met with the enthusiasm that I picture to be. So, by making this my Taylor Swift year I’m attempting to live my life like the “22” song that everyone seems to be quoting on their Instagrams this fateful year. As well as a host of all the Taylor Swift songs that I’ve ever aspired to see myself in.

Now, I’m the first of my friends for the most who turned 22 back in September, so that’s always been like an existential thing for me, it just makes me feel older than I am. However, I would say this was definitely the best celebration yet for 22 and I had started off my year on quite the kick. By that I mean I got pretty drunk with some of my best friends. I think that set a precedent for 22. Yes, I’m drinking more than I ever have (once a week, chill out, nothing too crazy) but it’s okay. This is my last year as  a pre-adult so I’m doing whatever I want for one more year and I think that’s really okay.

22 so far has been a time for self-actualization and self-love. I’ve been letting myself really do what I want, I mean I’m sure the Zoloft helps with that, but I’m finally doing things that I’ve always wanted to but stopped myself from doing. While I’m still often referred to as mom, I’m doing less-momish things and putting myself first sometimes. Not all the time, I do still have a problem saying no, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’ve also gotten a lot better at trying to make my life work for me, and at the end of the day what’s going to make me happy.

22 so far has been a time for friendships and lack of toxic relationships. The week after my birthday I started cutting out people who were toxic to me because that isn’t something I need to deal with. So I’ve worked on friendships with people who equalize their relationship with me, if that makes sense. Yes friendships are a two-way street, and sometimes they require more give than take, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time. So I found new friends, grew old friendships, formed new ones, and left the bad ones. There are too many good people in this world to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

22 so far has been a time for thoughts surrounding my future, as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing for the past four years of college. However, now it’s different. It’s more real. I’m applying for jobs, seeing what is best for me and my future. I have to think about things like benefits and the cost of living in cities where I apply to jobs compared to the salary. It’s a lot to think about.

So far, I think 22 has been good to me, maybe I’ll update you when I turn 23 about how the rest of the year goes. For now, I’m feelin’ 22.

Are you 22? Did you learn something new about yourself when you were?

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A Missed Opportunity.

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If you’re anything like me you might be afraid of missing an opportunity, any opportunity, every opportunity, just because of one decision you make. I’m always wondering what would my life be like if I would have done something differently.

I’ve been watching a lot of short films lately, it’s my new thing. In a lot of the romantic films someone missed a chance, but a lot of other took a chance. I think we need to do more of that, take more chances. If we took more chances we wouldn’t have so many regrets and I think that’s really important. Does anyone actually like to have regrets? Of course not, can we help it? Only sometimes. We shouldn’t be afraid to take a risk or two.

We focus on what can go wrong, not on anything that can go right. We mess up once and it prevents us from taking chances. You fight with a friend so you make less friends. You get annoyed and every person annoys you that day, you take it out on someone and then have the potential to lose that person. We let the negativity get to us and focus on all things bad, I know we do because I do it too.

If we were more positive and took more risks I think we would be a happier people. We would look at each other and see the good instead of seeing the time that a person hurt us, yet we live in this place where everyone has trust issues. You can’t trust a friend because they lied. You can’t buy something off of eBay because someone scammed you out $20. You can’t walk down the street without a can of pepper spray because of what you see on the news. We lived in a messed up world where risks hurt us so we don’t take them. Where once something bad happens we can never do it again. We are so afraid of risks and trusting people because someone screwed us over. That’s not fair.

Starting today, I’m going to take more chances, trust more people, and make the change to be a happier person. Why do we like to sit in our own sorrow and misery? Maybe it’s comforting, maybe it’s familiar and we think everyone does it. I’m stopping, making a change to be positive. I’m going to live for the now and to be happier and bring happiness to other people.

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Positivity.

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Naturally people view me as pessimistic type of person  however, I like to see myself as a realist and because of that I see the bad as well as the good. I know it’s not good to think about bad things but I think it’s part of life. I really admire my friend Alex who is such a positive person and being around her just makes me happier in general. She’s just one of those people that you can’t help but smile when you’re around. This actually leads me to my first point of positivity, people. If you surround yourself with positive people you are more likely to be a positive person. I notice that when I am around my people who make me laugh and spread a positive energy I am a lot happier. I think this is so important, you shouldn’t be around people that make you feel miserable or put you down or just try and put their burdens on you aren’t the people you should be hanging out with. Also, don’t be that negative person that takes the cloud of gloom with you everywhere you go, taking down every person you greet. It might take a lot to make someone smile, but it doesn’t take much to tear it all down.

Another point I’d like to make about positivity is that it’s a choice. Again I’ll tell you about my friend Alex. One day we were having a conversation and I said “How are you supposed to be positive if you find out that you have cancer?” just as an example, she responded something along the lines of  “But you can still stay positive and fight it.” That made me think very hard, she always makes me do that, but really positivity can change the outcome of terrible things. If you stay positive even when it’s really hard, better things will happen to you, I can almost guarantee it. No matter how bad something is, positivity will make it at least a little bit better. I would like to thank Alex for this lesson.

My final point of this post is to help spread positivity. I want people to stop thinking about me as a pessimist and maybe more of a realist, I think it would be a bit of a stretch to try and change my image to an optimist. Instead of saying about how bad your day think about how good it is. In the comments today I would like you to say one great thing that happened today and I’ll reply with a great thing that happened to me and why I’m glad that good thing happened to you! I really want to try and spread positivity. Also when you sign your name use a positive adjective to describe yourself that starts with the same letter as your name, like for example I could be Merry Mary. One last thing, if you get this far and you have twitter go tweet my friend Alex who basically inspired this post her username is @alexk710 and tell her that she’s the best. She is.

Go be happy my friends!

XOXO,

Mary.

Things That Make Me Smile

Well I’ve done these before or similar things but this idea has been inspired/given to me by my friend here at school Logan HERE is her post make sure you go read it and follow her, she posts every Thursday. So sorry Logan for semi-copying you but I’ve been writing all afternoon (okay I did take a little nap) but I wanted something quick to do so I can get back to my other writing. That actually leads me into a quick question, would anyone be interesting in reading samples of novels I’ve started and little poems here and there? Or is this not the place for that? Let me know in the comments.

  • Leather bound journals
  • Pen’s that glide when they write
  • The sound and smell of the rain, especially thunderstorms
  • Soft clothes
  • Sweet smells
  • Dark chocolate
  • Hot coffee
  • Iced coffee
  • Lattes with extra foam
  • Taking pictures
  • Laughing
  • Peanut butter
  • Making people smile
  • Long walks with great talks
  • Getting to know someone
  • Cute clothes
  • YouTube
  • Blogging
  • Writing
  • Traveling
  • Seeing new places
  • Big trees
  • The smell of oranges
  • Laying of the floor
  • Baby clothes/toys
  • Porch swings
  • The creaking sound of new book plus the smell, YUM
  • Empty classrooms
  • The idea of the beach
  • My friends
  • My family
  • Being alone
  • Being with my friends
  • Making lists
  • Crossing things off lists
  • Laughing at my own jokes
  • Bikes with baskets
  • The idea of fresh cut flowers
  • New clothes
  • Socks
  • Cameras
  • Dark rooms
  • Sunglasses
  • Mascara
  • Ugly selfies
  • Tanktops
  • Zac Efron
  • Connor Franta
  • Joe Sugg
  • The idea of holding hands
  • Friends being reunited
  • People meeting for the first time
  • Laughter
  • Hugs hello
  • People who get really excited to see someone
  • Vacumed floors
  • Quiet
  • City lights
  • Skylines
  • Bonfires
  • Smores
  • Hearing about people’s lives
  • Zalfie
  • Clean hair
  • Showers
  • Bubble baths

What makes you smile? Write below! Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Mary.