I hate the number 16 so this post is just giving me the chills.
So I guess I went a little MIA for a little bit there. I got a pretty bad cold and was in bed by 10 almost every night this week after taking my time on assignments and such blogging just fell at the wayside. Since my last blog post, I’ve been to Paris! My dad was there for work so I went along for the weekend. It was a lot of fun, but my cold started right before so by the time I got back to Ireland, I hardly had a voice.
Okay here’s a little political rant I have right now, I’m so pissed off about all of the shootings going on back in the States. Currently I’m living in a country where the police don’t even have guns, and since I’ve been here there have been no gun crimes that I have heard of being reported, however, there have been at least three shootings at colleges in the same time period. It just makes me angry, I feel like no one is taking action and it drives me crazy. I get that Americans have the right to bear arms, but please someone make it harder to get guns, I shouldn’t be able to go into Walmart and buy a gun. It’s a sick world, let’s try to make it better.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I went shopping today! I’ve been trying not to shop while I’ve been here because I would rather spend money on travel and things like that, but I just felt like it today, and I actually got two sweaters. The one I’m sure will be in pictures from probably both this weekend and next weekend. Sunday to Monday I’m going to Galway, since it’s a bank holiday weekend so we have no classes, then next weekend I’m going to London, and then I have a week off and I have bunch of stuff planned. Life is about to get crazy and my time here is about to go by in the blink of an eye. I think that’s exciting and scary. While part of me never wants to leave this adventure, another part of me really, really misses everyone at home. That’s my thing, I never get homesick, I never miss my bed or my house (maybe my shower with how weird these ones are) but I just really miss the people. And IHOP.
So yeah, that’s what you’ve missed. Hopefully I can get back to my schedule now, that’s the goal at least!
First and foremost I would like to point out that I haven’t done one of these in a week, so slow clap for me everyone. Also, I’m actually blogging not on the last three days of the week, so another win on my part. But those two points bring me to my first problem of this LNBM, I’m in a blogging rut. I feel like I see so many people growing with their blogs or stopping. I feel like I peaked last year with my daily blog, seriously, I feel like this downward spiral with my blog and I think that’s because the way I am as a person. I am one of those all or nothing people. If it’s not part of my routine I can’t do it. Well, I can, it just doesn’t flow as easily and I forget to do it. I’m super frustrated with myself and that I just can’t seem to get out of this rut.
I am trying however, I think that if maybe I try to plan my blog posts out more I can provide more content, which is something that I like to do to better my writing skills, but I also have some type of structure to follow. Of course it can be mended because I don’t like to limit my creativity. I just want to strive to be a better blogger.
This week has been kind of stressful. I don’t want to get into all the stuff at the beginning of the week, but I’ve been kind of anxious and stressed about a lot. To top it off yesterday I lost my key, luckily I called the cafe I had class at yesterday and they had it so I got it today, very thankfully. I feel like Monday through Wednesday are busy and stressful and drag on forever, but then Thursday through Sunday go by in the blink of an eye. Time is such a weird concept.
Next weekend I’m going to Paris to see my dad since he will be there for work and I’m very excited. My problem is that I don’t get homesick, I just miss people a lot. However, with travelling and visits it will help that not be so bad. This weekend I think I’m going to a seaside town or something, definitely seeing more of Ireland.
I do really love it here, it’s so pretty. As much as I get frustrated with the scheduling or feeling like I don’t have enough information, I do love the city. This is the first time I’ve ever lived in an actual city and it’s so convenient. Like I thought Frederick was nice and convenient, but really you need a car or need to know someone with a car. Here, the buses are great, but walking isn’t bad either. I really like it.
I miss my family, both immediate and extended. I miss my friends back home. I miss my dog. I miss chips. I miss french fries. I miss people that used to have a special place in my heart and no longer do. I miss my grandmom. I miss summer. I miss reading. I miss a lot of things.
Here’s the thing, while I miss a lot, I also would rather spend my time appreciating what I have right now. Right now, I have my friends here, some so close they’re more like family. I’m receiving a great education. I appreciate that I have such amazing people currently in my life. And I am enjoying the freedom that is healthier food without the crappy fried food weighing me down- well not really but I’m trying to.
The point is there is a time that I reserve to miss people and things, but I try not to dwell on it too much. Last year I spent so much time missing my family and friends that I forgot to enjoy the time I had with the people who were around me. That’s such a waste of my time and it really discounts the time I spend with those around me. There’s a time to miss my mom, and that’s when I wish she was here, but I can’t wish she was here all the time. I don’t plan on living near my family my whole life, I have to adjust to life without them and then appreciate the time I’m with them.
To me spending excessive amounts of time missing things is spending excessive amounts of time not living in the moment, and that’s just something I’m trying to do. So yes, I miss all of those people and things I listed at the beginning of this post, but I’m not going to waste time thinking about how much time I miss them, I’m going to try and spend my time living in the moment.
I can’t believe that break is almost over and I didn’t even do half the things I wanted to do. I didn’t have nearly as many sleepovers or good times with my friends, about halfway through break I realized that I wouldn’t be able to read all the Harry Potter book I had to settle with the last one, I didn’t crochet at all, and I didn’t film nearly as many videos as I wanted to. I thought maybe the anxiety attacks would stop, but they didn’t, so that’s another stress to go back to. I can honestly say I don’t want to go back to school. There are some benefits of returning, like no work, but I kind of want a job because the money would be nice. It’s also nice to be away from home, like the town. I feel like when I go back this time I’m going to be a lot more homesick just because I don’t want to be there. I feel like this semester is going to be super crazy and stressful with a full class load, along with a four day trip to NYC (hopefully) with MUN, a long weekend visit to Boston to see Lindsay and obviously several visits home for not just work but occasions like my sister’s birthday, a wiffle-ball tournament, Easter and spring break (is now an appropriate time to start the count down?) so hopefully all of these exciting things will help the semester will go quickly and May 9 will come quickly and I will be home for a good three, almost four months. So next will be here soon sadly and I hope I will have a post, but I will also be getting settled into my dorm once again so it might be a little bit harder to blog but then I will hopefully be able to make it up hopefully.
So a little idea I just thought up for tomorrow’s tag Tuesday, would anyone be up for a question and answer? If so ask any questions you may have for me in the comments and whether or not tomorrow is long enough to be a Q and A I’ll answer it!
January 12: “Little Monsters”
January 13: What strange Southeast Asian mammal smells like a fresh, hot buttered popcorn?
Well well well my friends, it has been quite a while. I am really sorry, but I seem to be in a funk. To be one hundred percent honest I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here right now. My friend from high school came to visit for the weekend, she hung out with me and her boyfriend who also goes here. It was really fun but I had to drive her half way home to meet her parents but then I had to drive back to school and it was awful. I’m not even one to get homesick but I just want to be with my family and friends. I need a break from college and I need time with my real friends. So sorry for this short little update but I’m sure I’ll get my motivation back soon so just stick with me. I really appreciate everyone’s support! I’ll give you a real post soon. Love you guys!