Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 28

I am sitting on our living room floor with about a million and five papers scattered around me along with a host of cold meds, decaf coffee, and some soy and dairy free chocolate. I keep staring at my very out-dated to-do list hoping it will give me answers that it’s not going to give me. I already took my evening dose of melatonin, so my apologies if this is a little scattered, I have to be up at 4:45 to babysit tomorrow morning so better safe than sorry with taking it early.

I have a second interview tomorrow, I’m not one for publicizing this type of information as I see it to be jinx worthy, however, I put everything here and maybe it’s jinx worthy to not ask for your best thoughts. Really, I’m afraid of jinxes no matter what so no matter what I do, if I don’t get this job I’m going to blame it as a jinx on something.

The job hunt in general, has been stressful. I have lost count of the number of jobs I’ve applied for. I’ve stopped applying to anything not on the east coast because I don’t think anybody wants to pay for me to relocate. If you do, ya know, let me know, I’ll move anywhere.

Other than jobs I have a crazy short time until graduation and I honestly can’t believe it. Although cliche, it does it feel like just yesterday that I started this blog in conjunction with my college career. While I’m so excited to be done school and get out of the classroom and maybe even out of my parents house (no offense, just looking for new), I’m not quite as ready for bills and whatever else real adults have to do. I want to do all the fun things and skip everything I might ever have to worry about. Generally, I’m more excited than not.

I’ve been working a lot this year to get to a point where I’m comfortable. I should’ve spent less but I’m considering this my last few months to be a little reckless. I babysit ALL the time, less now than earlier this year, but still a lot. I also work at the marketing department at my school, and as an intern. There might be other things I’m forgetting but, it’s been good. I think it’s been helping me prep for the future of being busy. If I could be a professional nanny, it’s definitely something I would consider. However, I did not go to college to do that, so I should really use the skills I’ve developed to please my parents and myself.

Anyway, here’s a little bit of my word vomit for everyone. How’s you job hunt going? Any tips for me? Anyone successfully freelancing and have some advice? Let me know!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 26

late night blogging with mary

I’m back at school and trying to get back to blogging. I’ve just had the year of bloggers block which I think might lead to a year of daily blogging but we’ll see. However, right now I’ve just been in my head.

I don’t know if it’s my anxiety, fear of the future, or just simply how my brain works sometimes but I’m just stuck some days. Like here is the thing, I’m a senior in college now and nine out of ten days I just don’t feel prepared I suppose. Like I will be done my major in the fall, and then I have to decide whether or not I want to do the concentration (one more class). That’s it. 29 credits stand between me and the diploma I’ve been craving for the past eight years. Yet, that’s it. Like it was all this build up and anticipation to this year and I’m just very underwhelmed.

Another thing, I’m like super back into like videos. I go through phases with this stuff. Like right now I definitely want to get into artsy vlogs. Like I don’t really want to do those follow me around types, but more of a from my eye point of view type of things. I really just like editing and how you can put together this vision that you have in your head and I want to do more of that and I would like to consider that an option for my future, however, that would be very, very hard.

I’m also going to go through a major rebrand this summer. Or so I say. My whole life my internet presence since the fifth grade from Neopets to email, I’ve been mrmilligan13. However, that does make me look like Mr. Milligan. I will be running a twitter pole within the next couple of weeks, so make sure you’re following me for updates and if you would like to vote in what my rebrand should be. Also let me know if you have any ideas because I have zero. The only reason that I think I might want to keep it is because men are statistically more successful than women, do I join the bad side? No. Because women should be equal and I shouldn’t have to hide behind a “mr” in all of my usernames to be successful. So I’m rebranding.

Finally, I just think everyone should know that I watched Girl Meets World from 2-3 am before bed last(?) night (morning?) and sobbed hysterically because I have missed my opportunity for a Corey Matthews. Then for this season they recreated one of the sequences from the theme song of Boy Meets World and I just cried. I’m emotional.

Happy LNBM, I’ll  be around more hopefully!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 24

late night blogging with mary

I hate the number 24, and I also hate that I chose to number this series. I always have to look up what number I’m at. Happy last three weeks of school which always suck.

I just made the mistake of looking at my planner and that was quite upsetting. I have so much to do and so little time. Deadlines are rapidly approaching and the semester is dwindling away. I can’t believe it’s already April. I am a mixture of very ready for summer and I need more time in this semester.

Currently, my blog sucks and summer I think will be the cure. I want to do some more adventure posts, I want to do a weekend trip to the beach, at least one, and I really just want to go somewhere new too. I would also like to clean out the nearly 200 drafts I have piled up, see what’s worth salvaging and what’s worth deleting. I just have such an issue with deleting my writing. I don’t know why. I’m trying to make it through the semester without getting too anxious, you know because I have complete control over that (sense the sarcasm). The last two weeks were filled with middle of the night panic attacks and what seems to be a case of strep throat.

I want to be better. I always want to be better and I think that’s why I have anxiety sometimes. There will always be something wrong with everything I do. I think most people would think that’s great, always wanting to be better, but for me, I just get hung up on everything I’m doing wrong. I don’t know. Brains are weird.

I’m mentally exhausted and it’s Monday.

Monday tip, only look at Monday on  your planner so you don’t cry.

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 23

late night blogging with mary

It is late, I am tired, and I am writing this to further put off homework. I’m just not in the mood. I don’t have huge assignments due so I just really don’t want to do anything this week. However, that is not how college works and that just means I have more work to do for the next week so it can finally be spring break.

I’m not doing anything particularly interesting for spring break this year, I might go to NYC for a day, I hope I’m going to paint some pottery. I’m not sure what else really.  I’m just very excited to have a week off and not really have to worry about anything.

Newspaper elections are this week and I’m running for Editor-in-Chief, how cool/awesome/nerve-wracking is that?? I’m also officially done with my 8:25 class and that also means that I’m down to three classes a day. Thank God for half semester classes! There’s not much else going on in the school world. Everything is exhausting and boring and time consuming otherwise which is both very good and fairly  bad. I’m glad I didn’t go mad last week with the amount of homework I had to do. This week is catch up/get ahead week. Fingers crossed it goes well.

Who’s on spring break already? Who should I be jealous of most this week is what the questions should read. Hope you had a great weekend! Hopefully this won’t be the only post this week. I do have to catch up on my crafting blog though, so we’ll see. Leave suggestions of what you would like to read because my ideas have been dwindling again.

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 22

late night blogging with mary

Oh I know I just did one of these but I have a lot to say. Kind of.

Bloggers block has become my chronic condition. I have a severe lack of ideas recently. I just don’t know what to say but at the same time, I feel like I have a lot to say. I just don’t know. I’m stuck.

Today I participated in my first blogger chat on twitter and it was very inspiring. Tomorrow I’m going to clean my room and get my life together as tonight’s #theStumbleisReal chat was about  organization. Now I want to be organized. Like this is definitely something that I’m going to do because talking to like-minded people is something that really inspires me.

I want to be inspired to be a better blogger. I just wish I had ideas. Like I have my little calendar of ideas but by the time it gets to that date, I just don’t want to do it. Hopefully this week, I can plan some stuff out because I don’t have much due, but I’m just at a loss for ideas. Is there anything anyone wants to read?

I want to be a better blogger but I don’t want to be a different blogger and I think that’s where a lot of my struggles lie. I was a daily blogger and I think a lot of my identity as a blogger still goes back to that and the fact that I’m not anymore is still a struggle for me a lot of the time.  Like I don’t want to go back to that, because it’s hard. Like I give huge kudos to daily bloggers who produce actual content. I might try a month or so soon just to force myself to get in the habit of it again.

I’m having a blogger existential crisis. Help. Tips, please!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 21

late night blogging with mary

Have I said recently that I’m exhausted? The classwork is non-stop this semester which explains my unfortunate lack of posting. It’s a lot at once or like none, I just need to remember when it’s none to stay on top of it. But at the same time, when it there isn’t any homework to do there’s a million other things to do. Basically I’m very tired a lot of the time.

Let’s also talk about anxiety for a moment. I hate it. I hate when I’m fine for so long, then like it hits me like a ton of bricks. I just feel like right now there’s expectations of me from everyone and I’m afraid to disappoint people and then I have my own stuff to do and it leads to a mind overload. I also feel like it’s too early in the semester for this. I don’t know, hopefully it doesn’t stick around because I am too tired for this.

On a side note, I’m starting another blog for class, so I’ll be sharing that here too.  Once something is up, I’ll share the link. It’s a crafting blog and once the class is over, hopefully I’ll be in the habit so I’ll be able to do some more of those on this blog. However, I have to do 14 posts for that class, so there’s a chance that there will be less posts on here. I’m basically MIA anyway so maybe it won’t even matter.

I also have a little bit of a rant for this LNBM, Netflix on my iPad has not been working. It logs me out all the time, once an episode finishes I have to kill the app and sometimes login again just to get it to work. How am I supposed to hate Nurse Jackie if I can’t even watch the show?!

Speaking of Nurse Jackie, what a weird show. I’ve never hated the main character of a TV show so much. When I watched Gossip Girl, I disliked the main characters in a rotating fashion, every four episodes I didn’t like a new person, however, it wasn’t consistent dislike of anyone. Nurse Jackie, on the other hand, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually liked her character. I don’t know if that’s how it’s supposed to be or if that’s just me. I really liked Zoey at first, but then all the sudden she’s a mini-Jackie. I just don’t know. Anyone else have an opinion?

What are your late night thoughts? Mine are: going to bed before my  mind literally explodes.

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 19

late night blogging with mary

It’s been officially over a month since I’ve done an LNBM, which means that bloggers block is fading away, we will see if that sticks once school picks up on Monday. Eek. However, because of that, I feel  like there hasn’t been a life update in a while.

I start classes on Monday, that’s insane. My break has flashed by in the blink of an eye, which is good and bad. Good because I hate waiting for things, bad because I didn’t get to do half the things I wanted to do. That’s partially because I got way more hours over break than I did over the summer, which is really good, but I’m also very tired.

Also, I can’t believe I’m going back to my school tomorrow. I spent all of last semester saying to my friends “oh I don’t go there” to be funny, but like now it feels almost weird to be going back. I’m afraid I’m not going to know anyone, which is stupid because my school has like just over a thousand students, so that’s only like 300 or so that I won’t recognize. However, I also switched buildings, which I realize I’m about to sound very stupid, but there’s like a whole new system I have to learn. I don’t know which showers to use, there’s going to be different people in the halls, it’s just going to be different. It feels kind of weird just walking into school in the middle of the year, I know it’s a new semester, it just feels strange.

I am so excited for a routine again. I have a babysitting job lined up for next semester. I just have schedule that will be generally the same everyday and I’m really looking forward to it. There’s something that I really look forward to about starting back up again. While there are certain classes that I’m really nervous about, there are also a lot that I’m really excited for. I’m glad that I’m finally done with all of my gen eds and I’m finally like moving up into just classes for my major and then classes I actually want to take.

I guess this post could have been called “back to school” but it’s past 7 pm so it’s technically LNBM. When do you go back to school? Some people are already back, some people still have a week or two, they took a week away from us, so I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little upset, but maybe it’s for the best!

Okay, now it’s bed time, I’m leaving at 7 am tomorrow!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 18

late night blogging with mary

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve done some late night blogging, and really that’s all I have time for right now it seems. I go home in 12 days by the time I hit publish on this post, which is crazy, this semester has gone so quickly. However, I have 8 assignments due before them, I crossed off two today (thank goodness) but it’s stressful and I’m ready to be done with them all.

It’s weird getting ready to go home, it has gone by really fast, but I’m also ready to go home. I’ll miss the people and the city but I really miss my family friend back home, so I’m pretty ready to get home.

A lot’s going on and a lot is about to happen. I was away for a week, saw Molly, and now I’ve been back in Dublin ever since and I’m just trying to make the best out of my last few weeks here. I’m also getting ready to start 12 Days of Christmas on my blog! 12 days of daily blogging!  I do miss that sometimes, so this will either feed the fuel or leave me hungry for more, we shall see.

I’m also very excited for Christmas, I’m almost done my shopping. I love Christmas, I can’t wait to get home to wrap the presets. The things I’m most excited about going home are as followed: IHOP, wrapping Christmas presents, and having an oven. That’s obviously not including seeing everyone. I really miss IHOP, it will be breakfast on Sunday. Well maybe dinner because it’s so crowded Sunday morning and afternoon, you just have to time out the meal times. Also, I’m excited for American Netflix, some options are better here, but there are a lot fewer.

Let me rant about housing back home for a second. They won’t tell me who I can live with, they are literally just going to stick me with some random person in some random building which is absolutely absurd if you ask me. I’m so annoyed. It doesn’t make sense for them, and it doesn’t make sense for me. I can’t even fill out a form to see who I would be most compatible with. It’s just ridiculous. They wouldn’t let me save a spot, their recommendation for study abroad students is to live in language housing, providing no recommendations for people who are studying in an English speaking country. It’s really helpful. I’m annoyed.

Anyway, I’m beyond ready for bed. What’s going on in your life?

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 17

late night blogging with mary

So I only blogged twice this week and I feel like a failure. However, that’s besides the point. Well only kind of. I don’t know what it is with me and blogging lately. All I want to do is blog and improve but I can’t. I can’t write. The bloggers block will never leave me. Someone help.

I was just in London, it was super cool. I’m going back next weekend, which happened because I definitely wanted to spend more than 24 hours in the city and it just so happened that break was that more than 24 hours and it started the week after I was there. Also, after that, I get to go see Molly in Spain and I’m so excited. I haven’t seen Molly since June! I have also never been to Spain before so I’m really looking forward to that. There will be several guest posts next week because I refuse to count on wifi since it has cut out on me in so many places so many times before. They will be wonderful I am sure, so make sure you read them and follow the bloggers who write them!

Time is flying by while I’m away. It’s crazy. I have 47 days left as of 5 minutes ago, my family will be here within a few weeks which I am so excited about. It’s both good and bad that it’s going so fast. I plan on doing a whole post about this eventually. However, I do think that it has taught me that I need an easy way to get to the people I’m closest to. I have friends here, but I do miss my family and my friends back home a lot and it’s just too expensive to go home, so I need to be somewhere when I move out that it’s easier to get home for. Maybe not home, but to someone or something more familiar, if that makes sense. Like at college I can just go home whenever I want really since it’s just a two hour drive, I don’t need to be that close, but something like a four or five hour drive wouldn’t be bad, or even a train. Just something easier than a flight with a huge time difference.

I got super anxious for the first time in a long time yesterday. I had a very small panic attack and it just kind of sucked. I was by myself, which was probably for the best, but it just put me in a terrible mood. Once I collected myself I was fine, but I was just annoyed because I’ve been so good for so long and it’s those bad days that just get me. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I’ve been kind of hung up on it ever since and way more irritable because that’s what anxiety does to me unfortunately, it makes me mad. I need to do another anxiety post too, that would be good for me too probably.

Well now I have two post ideas in this blog post, so maybe that’s promise for next week, I sure hope so.  I slept for like 3-5 hours since we didn’t get a hotel last night so I think it’s time for me to go to bed.

Let me know if you have any suggestions for me to get over blogger’s block or if you have any things you want me to write!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 15

late night blogging with mary

First and foremost I would like to point out that I haven’t done one of these in a week, so slow clap for me everyone. Also, I’m actually blogging not on the last three days of the week, so another win on my part.  But those two points bring me to my first problem of this LNBM, I’m in a blogging rut. I feel like I see so many people growing with their blogs or stopping. I feel like I peaked last year with my daily blog, seriously, I feel like this downward spiral with my blog and I think that’s because the way I am as a person.  I am one of those all or nothing people. If it’s not part of my routine I can’t do it. Well, I can, it just doesn’t flow as easily and I forget to do it.  I’m super frustrated with myself and that I just can’t seem to get out of this rut.

I am trying however, I think that if maybe I try to plan my blog posts out more I can provide more content, which is something that I like to do to better my writing skills, but I also have some type of structure to follow. Of course it can be mended because I don’t like to limit my creativity. I just want to strive to be a better blogger.

This week has been kind of stressful. I don’t want to get into all the stuff at the beginning of the week, but I’ve been kind of anxious and stressed about a lot. To top it off yesterday I lost my key, luckily I called the cafe I had class at yesterday and they had it so I got it today, very thankfully. I feel like Monday through Wednesday are busy and stressful and drag on forever, but then Thursday through Sunday go by in the blink of an eye. Time is such a weird concept.

Next weekend I’m going to Paris to see my dad since he will be there for work and I’m very excited. My problem is that I don’t get homesick, I just miss people a lot. However, with travelling and visits it will help that not be so bad. This weekend I think I’m going to a seaside town or something, definitely seeing more of Ireland.

I do really love it here, it’s so pretty. As much as  I get frustrated with the scheduling or feeling like I don’t have enough information, I do love the city. This is the first time I’ve ever lived in an actual city and it’s so convenient. Like I thought Frederick was nice and convenient, but really you need a car or need to know someone with a car. Here, the buses are great, but walking isn’t bad either. I really like it.

Goodnight world.

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