Stranger Stories: An Anonymous Story About Being the “Other” Woman

a note from Mary: this story contains sensitive subject matter, please be aware. 

Like the author of the last fabulously-written anonymous story, I too reached out to Mary to be a guest writer on her blog. I have found that some stories are harder for me to share, and this is one few people want to hear let alone try to understand. This is the story about being the other woman. 

I know what you’re probably thinking, because I can almost guarantee I’ve thought the same things too. I’ve called those women numerous names and made assumptions about them, and then one day, somehow, I became the other woman. 

Four years ago I was entering my freshman year of college. I instantly became friends with this guy Scott (changing his name for the purpose of this story). Scott and I had many common interests and instantly became not just friends, but best friends. I knew I could call him at any second of the day or night and he’d coming running across the quad to my dorm and sit with me until the swelling of my eyes settled from crying so much. When I first met Scott I was still dating a boy from high school. The distance became too much for my little naïve heart to handle, and I soon started dating another guy, we’ll call him Mark. I knew from the start Mark was a bad idea. He was 3 years older than me and certainly more experienced than me. You know when you’re little and your mom tells you if something really makes you sad or uncomfortable that you don’t have to do it, that you should trust those feelings? Well unfortunately 18-year-old me didn’t listen to my mom’s advice. I wound up in an extremely physically and emotionally abusive relationship with Mark. It wasn’t until I was laying naked on the bathroom floor of my dorm room covered in bruises and blood that I realized I needed to get away, that I needed help.  

For the weeks to come, I distanced myself from everyone and everything and Scott and my friendship started fading away. It wasn’t until the summer after our freshman year that I told him the truth about Mark. This angered Scott. Okay so anger doesn’t even begin to describe how furious he was with Mark and the situation and how he wasn’t there for me, but somehow this turned into a conversation of Scott telling me he loves me. I told Scott I didn’t know how I felt. Looking back four years later I knew in that moment I loved Scott as far more than a friend, but I also knew my perception of love and life had been greatly altered by my relationship with Mark. 

So, Scott and I learned to live our lives separately. He loved me from afar and I hid under the covers of other men. Eventually we started dating other people and falling in love with them. Senior year of college came, and Scott was still in a very long-distance relationship with this girl (we’ll call her Emma) while I was single again for the first time in a long time. Scott and I quickly began to spend more time together. Scott would complain to me about how hard his relationship was with Emma being so far away and having so many differences, while I tried dating man after man, I realized I wasn’t happy and in love with anyone like I was with Scott. So one cold winter night, while I was crying over another boy, Scott comforted me, and we kissed. Right away we apologized, and said it was a mistake. I mean it was a mistake right? He had a girlfriend. I finally confessed to Scott how I felt and he said it wasn’t fair to him- he had felt that way before about me and I wasn’t ready and though he was miserable dating Emma right now it just wasn’t fair. So yet again, Scott and I drifted apart.   

Months went by without a single word shared between us, until one Saturday at 3 in the morning I received a phone call from him. The rest of that night is blurry. I’m not sure if it’s that I don’t remember it, or that I don’t want to. We ended up hooking up and then I just started hysterically crying telling him how much I love him. I told him to leave Emma. I told him if he wasn’t happy with her that he needed to break up with her, and be with me. He said now I knew how it felt, now I knew what it meant to have my heart broken, and I began to cry even more. He quickly apologized, and said that’s not what he meant. He said that’s what he wanted too, for us to be together, and we fell asleep. The next morning I woke up in an empty room, trying to figure out if the night before really happened or if it was all a dream. After a few days passed I called Scott and said we needed to talk. So we did, and suddenly I realized I was the other woman. Scott didn’t want to be with me, but he didn’t want to let me go. Scott told Emma what happened and I was suddenly blocked from all of her social media accounts and all of his. I spent my last few weeks of college walking around campus with puffy eyes and baggy sweatpants, keeping my head staring at the ground as people called me a “homewrecker” and a “Whore.” I started to believe those names people called me, and I started hating myself.  

Graduation came, the summertime came, and I thought I was free. But, life never works out quite that way does it? Soon it was October, and I received numerous phone calls from friends in the area saying that Scott was talking about me. So I finally worked up the courage to go sit down with him face to face and talk about everything. Amongst the awkward silences were a lot of “I’m sorry” and “I want you to be happy” and “let’s try to be friends.” So we did, try. Four days later of us “trying to be friends” landed us both in my apartment bed, cuddling, and you guessed it-me crying. I told him I didn’t want him to leave this time, I wanted to wake up the next morning and see him. By some miracle I did, which of course was when he decided to tell me that him and his girlfriend were on a break and he needed to figure out what he wanted. Although they weren’t together at this point, a part of me still felt guilty, like I was trying to weave myself into someone else’s story. I decided this time to trust that gut instinct. After a few weeks of back and forth arguing, I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again. 

So here I am, writing this, finally typing up my story. If you’re still reading this, you’re probably wondering what I want you to take away from it, why this story is important. It’s important because it’s not just a story, it’s my life. I am not THE OTHER WOMAN, I am A WOMAN. I have a heart and a conscience and a mind and soul. I do not have “bad morals.” I fell in love with a guy who had always been there for me. I fell in love with my best friend and he fell out of love with his girlfriend, and I thought that by some miracle we could be happy together. What I have come to realize is that it will never happen, us. So often I read stories about how much it sucks to get cheated on, and trust me I know, I have been there too. But what hurts even more is being “the other woman,” the one who always saw the good in people, the one who put up with people calling her a “fucking whore” and her supposed best friend telling her “you have no morals and you’re a homewrecker,” all because I believed that Scott really, truly did love me and wanted to be with me.  

“I am not THE OTHER WOMAN, I am A WOMAN.”

My mom used to tell me, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” She warned me about heartbreak and loss, but she never quite prepared me for this empty, disgusted feeling with yourself. So, here I am, trying to move on and live my life, without Scott. Believe it or not, I was the one who ended things. I don’t care if him and Emma were on a break or broken up or whatever the hell you want to call it, but I was and am done with being a part of his life. I am learning to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made, but more importantly, I am learning to love myself again. Sometimes we invest so much of ourselves into someone else’s potential that we forget who they really are and who we are and what we believe and what we want. I want someone who wants me, and only me. Emma, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry how things happened, but I really did love Scott. And Scott, if you’re reading this, you need to make up your mind. I would’ve/could’ve loved you with everything that I had left to give, but I realize it was never really me that you wanted. Maybe it was all just a game to you, and you were reaching to feel something again, but it was always so much more to me. To my audience, I’m not sure what you think of me, and frankly, I don’t care. I am learning to love myself again. I am learning that no one is perfect, myself included. I am learning that we all make mistakes. I am also learning that everyone is deserving of love. One day, I will find the love meant for me. 

So before you go around calling people “homewreckers” and “slut-bags” and whatever witty things you think you can come up with, know this: We are each just trying to find our way in life, trying to find love and all deserving of love. And yes, I “the other woman,” have a heart too.  

Also, to those who are in abusive relationships, or have been assaulted or raped, I hope you find the courage to tell someone. I hope you find the courage to leave and to seek help. I still have moments where it is hard for me, but I am so thankful to have family and friends who love and support me and will never make me feel alone again. Surround yourself with people who make you happy to be alive. Those are the friendships worth having, and never settle for anything less than that.  

If you have a story that you would like to share, anonymous or otherwise email me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com.

Advertisements

Stranger Stories: An Anonymous Love Story

An Anonymous Love Story

A couple of months ago I asked my dear friend Mary if I could be an anonymous guest writer on her awesome blog. Because she is literally the nicest person I probably know, she willingly accepted my request. So hello Mary’s avid readers! I’m sorry I can’t introduce myself, but perhaps if you continue reading, the reason as to why will be made clear.

I’ve felt the need, over these last few months, to get something off of my chest but life gets hectic and the feelings I’m about to share were not nearly as important as the other aspects of my life. As things begin to calm down and my routine is more set, the feelings can’t be pushed aside much longer. They pop up out of nowhere and they pester me at the most inconvenient of times. As my therapist once told me, writing can be extremely useful for people who have a hard time expressing their feelings. And so, here I am, hiding behind anonymity in the hopes of being able to find some type of peace of mind.

Years ago, I fell in love. Or at least I thought I did. I’ve come to realize that what I loved was the idea of him, the idea of being in love with him, the romance of the entire situation. But not him, I never really loved him. And the only reason I’m able to say this is because now I actually love someone, and it hurts substantially more. It started as this perpetual cold feeling somewhere between my heart and my diaphragm, like someone punched me with a snowball. Now there’s just this empty feeling there, as if a part of my side was ripped out entirely. If I try to visualize the space it’s a black, empty void. Somehow, that hurts worse than the snowball punch.

I met him a few years ago. I was recovering from a really tough year and we were studying at the same place. We became instant friends and spent most of our time together. I’ve never had a male friend like him. We have the same interests, same passions, same humor. We grew close and soon he became one of my best friends. When we said goodbye to each other, I (accidentally) told him I loved him and turned around and got on a bus. It was a very friendly ‘I love you’ but even still, I meant it.

It was months before I saw him again but nothing changed between us. We picked up right where we left off. Again I was leaving on a bus when he hugged me and told me he loved me. Once more, strictly in a friend way. I smiled and walked away.

Years went by and we kept in touch; a skype call here and there, a couple snapchats a week and few friendly text messages. He was still one of my best friends and I loved telling people about our adventures together and how great he was. Then we saw each other again.

I was so excited to see him and we had one of those running into each other’s arms at the airport moments. It had been years since we had seen each other and yet, we were as comfortable as ever. Before our reunion, my friends kept asking me if I thought we’d hook up, which in my opinion was an absurd question. “Hook up with him? He’s like my brother guys, never.” So naturally we hooked up.

I was terrified. This would totally ruin our friendship. Everything was going to be awkward now. I’d royally screwed up. Thankfully, I was entirely wrong about all of that. But the one thing that I was right about was that I’d never be the same. The more time I spent with him and the more intimate we got, the more attached I became. Despite my best efforts, I knew I was falling in love him. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I had wanted to.

We spent two weeks together, 24/7 and not once did I get annoyed. Not once did I want to rip his head off. Not once did I need alone time. I can’t do this with my best friends that I’ve known for years. I can’t do this with my sister or mother or anyone. But with him, I’m a different person and I really like that person. I want to be her more.

The time came and he was leaving. His bus was leaving late, he was heading to his next adventure. (As I’m writing this, I’m starting to realize what an important part buses play in this whole little story). I looked in his eyes while tears streamed down my face and I was speechless. I couldn’t say anything. So I smiled while he told me how much fun he had, how much he’d miss me, how excited he was for our next trip together. We hugged, I looked at him once more and walked away. I didn’t turn back. I couldn’t turn back. My life wasn’t behind me and I had to keep moving forward. But that wasn’t the real reason I didn’t look back.

You see, his next adventure was visiting The Girl. The Girl is a friend of mine and I knew from the start that he was going to visit her. The Girl is someone who he told me he could see a future with. We were very open about The Girl and talked about all of it after we had hooked up. So the real reason I didn’t look back is because I didn’t want to know whether he was watching me leave or if he was on the phone with her. It would have broken my heart in that moment if I knew the answer. I wanted to remember him fondly and hold no grudges. So I walked onward, content with my oblivion.

While I write this, I know that I’m heartbroken. I know that the person I love doesn’t know that I do and most likely doesn’t harbor the same feelings. But I still love him and I always will. Perhaps that’s the heartbreaking part of this whole story. I really do believe that I will always love him. He is my first love, the first person I can envision a real, viable future with. I want to spend my life with him, I want him by my side through all of the adventures. We’re still best friends. We still talk frequently and on the surface, nothing has changed. I haven’t told him I love him because at this point in time, there is no benefit in doing so.

Perhaps now you understand why I chose anonymity. I need to confess to the world that I love someone who doesn’t love me back and I need to do so without anyone knowing I did. The irrationality of love annoys me. I hope you don’t feel like your time has been wasted reading this story. Perhaps no one will even get to the end of this blog. But I can pretend that I’ve shared my story with people and I can pretend that they can at least relate to it.

I suppose the lesson I’ve learned from all of this is that sometimes there are heartbreaks so enormous you can’t just get over them. I will always love him and I will always remember this heartbreak, but it won’t define me nor will it stop me. I’m not bitter and I don’t regret a thing. Now that I’ve fallen in love I know how great it is, even though it hurts so much. Sometimes, it’s ok to be broken for awhile because then you can learn how to put yourself back together.

If you have a story that you would like to share, anonymous or otherwise email me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com.

The Newest Addition to My Life: Leslie Knope

As I mentioned briefly when we having coffee last weekend, I got a cat! She is five years old, rescued from a cat specific rescue league. Her name is Leslie Knope (but really goes by baby or sweetheart) and she is the most precious thing ever.

She doesn’t like to be held but she need to constantly be at my side.

 

 

If she’s not playing with my makeup brushes or jumping on and off the bed she is sound asleep at my feet or at my side.

 

So this is my kitty, Leslie.

Weekend Coffee Share

If we were having coffee you’d be sitting on the other side of the couch at the home I babysit at every Sunday. We would be watch “13 Reasons Why” and I would be ranting about how much I hate boys and I just want to meet a nice man that treats me right and how I hope so badly it’s the one that’s talking to me now. Then I’d tell you that I don’t think it is, which makes me feel conflicted as conflicted can be.

If we were having coffee I’d be sipping my second big cup of the day. Trying to get rid of the headache, the tiredness I’ve been feeling from barely sleeping the past few weeks, and most importantly, just trying to enjoy the taste and calming down.

If we were having coffee I’d pour you a nice big cup. We would talk about all of the things that have been bothering me. My blog, boys, jobs, everything. I would vent, and then let you vent. I’d probably interrupt because that’s probably my worst habit of all. I’d complain about not knowing what to make for dinner, my diet, and then I would whisper “I’ll probably just go to Subway again.”

If we were having coffee, I’d let you know that I think it’s weird the baby has been sleeping for three hours, but I wouldn’t complain. Trust me I’m thankful. I would then go on to show you pictures of how cute he is, and how thankful I am for all of the wonderful families have allowed me to watch over their children this year.

If we were having coffee, I would probably go on a feminist rant, tell you about how much I love social media, and how I wish my blog would thrive. I’d have a lot to say, but at the same time, nothing at all. I’d open up like I used to on my blog. Before I went public with it, before I was applying for jobs, and before when I didn’t have many friends. I’d share my worries, my thoughts, and my doubts.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you if you want another cup but pour you another no matter what the answer was. The truth is, on Sundays I get to a point where I desperately need to talk to an adult so I wouldn’t really want you to leave.

If we were having coffee, I’d have to eventually excuse myself to get the crying baby and I’d thank you for joining me. I’d invite you back next week and be so happy for my friendships with you.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee?

12 Days of Christmas: Day 9- The Best Bits of Christmas

day 9
My computer is currently resting while it waits for a screw so I’m using my iPad. Therefore, today’s post will be kind of short and simple because I hate typing on my iPad. 

  1. Seeing and spending time with  family. This year it is especially important to me because I missed Thanksgiving so I’m really missing everyone. 
  2. Lots of sweets. I like to try all of the cookies and other things that people bring for dessert. 
  3. Everyone is happy on Christmas. Everyone might be cranky leading up to Christmas but I feel like on Christmas everyone is happy. 
  4. Christmas Eve mass is just beautiful and celebratory and I love that it makes me feel festive every year. 
  5. The food. It’s a feast. 
  6. I love all the decorations. It just shows how much people care about the holiday which I think is pretty cool. 
  7. I find that people ar more generous around the holidays and I’m glad that they are helping and caring for more people.  
  8. The youthfulness it brings to people. I love that people have a childlike attitude at Christmas time. It’s like everyone wants to believe in Santa. 
  9. Festive wear. Holiday sweaters, need I say more?
  10. Love. Everyone loves and shows their love at Christmas time. 

What are your favorite parts of the holiday?

signature

This is the last time I’m asking you…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Can’t Drive 55.”

“Put my name at the top of your list…” This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, “The Last Time”. To me this songs speaks volumes. It means you can only ask so much out of someone. It means you can’t keep leaving and coming back and how fragile people around you are.

“This is the last time I’ve got it wrong” This is the last time, I’m going to make this mistake again. You can make the same mistakes so many time, trust me, I continuously repeat mistakes, but it’s crazy to think that you just keep going back to what’s going to break your heart.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye” We go back to people who break our hearts repeatedly. We trust people continuously. I think in our memories we forget what bad things people did, and have a tendency to remember only the good things, and we continue to let them into our lives even though they will only hurt us more and more.

“I’m not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here” When you care about someone everything goes back to them. We forget where we’re going and what we’re doing, we get so caught up in that person and how much we care that everything falls to the wayside.

“Put my name at the top of your list.” Once you start not meaning something to someone, don’t ask to be put at the top of their list anymore. Once you’re not there anymore you start caring more than them, investing more than them, and are in a position to be hurt a lot more by them. Which is why they “break my heart in the blink of an eye.

“You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave” Sorry’s can only go so far and only fix so much. Sometimes the apology becomes so miniscule that it begins to mean nothing instead.

This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs because there’s so much meaning and emotion in it. Gary Lightbody is also featured in the song, and their harmonies are amazing. When I hear this song I can feel it. It’s everything you want to say to the people who hurt you again and again, but there’s only so many times you can ask why, only so many times they can say sorry, only so many times you both can walk away.

“And all those times I let you in, just for you to go again.”

Now doesn’t that just break your heart. Happy Saturday prompt from the Daily Prompt! What was the last song you listened to?

signature

P.S. I listened to this song the whole time I wrote this post and now I’m obsessed with it like I was when the Red CD came out.

Yin to My Yang: Soulmates

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Yin to My Yang.”

Let me be quite frank, I don’t know if I believe in soulmates the way that people mean the term. I think there are different kind of soulmates, and maybe that the soulmate isn’t just one, I think that there can be more than one because every situation has choices and two people might not make the same decisions every time which can lead to heartbreak, or just a complete breakaway before it even comes to love or the idea of a soulmate, it’s just that they could’ve been one of them.

When I think “Yin to My Yang” I honestly don’t even think about love or a soulmate. I think about my best friends. I’m not really good friends with anyone who is super similar to me. I’m friends with people who contrast me so well that it just works. I don’t ever think about that in relationships like that though. I don’t know why, but when I’m thinking about relationships, I’m never thinking about finding my perfect opposite, I don’t know what I’m thinking about, but I don’t think it’s that.

I once saw soulmates described like this:

“You don’t have only one soul-mate. If you did, you would have married your best friend three years ago. She knows you better than her right hand and she’ll listen to you cry from eight states away. You don’t have only one soul-mate because people wake up different parts of you- parts you never even knew existed. The boy when you were 15 taught you what it felt like to get caught kissing in a closet at the party you never should have been at in the first place, without his lips ever touching yours. When you were 18 a boy let you know what it’s like to have your heart lodged in your throat because he’s moving 2,000 miles away, and he won’t tell you when he’ll be back. You wait until you’re 22 to get attached again, and this time you felt it in every inch. It’s as if you got struck by lightning- the Lichtenberg figure crawls up  your arms and across your back, like his hands on your skin while you laid in bed together and you thought the thump of your heart was in time with his. You don’t have one soul-mate; instead, you have soul-mates, because your heart in huge and you have the room.” –s.m

To me this is the perfect description of soulmates in general. I think there are so many people that your soul connects with and I think that’s the perfect thing about love. That’s the great thing that we get to experience as humans. We get to be Yins and Yangs, for all different people and they get to be that for us. Soulmates don’t always have to be romantic. We can love people without having to worry about if they are the one destined for us because there are so many people that are destined for us. There are so many people that are meant to be in our lives, whether that’s temporary or forever.

I don’t know if any of this is true, but there are so many people in my life that don’t necessarily make sense. Take Hannah for example, if we didn’t meet as children, I don’t know if we ever would have been friends in high school, we were in such different circles, but because of that she has turned into one of my best friend soulmates.  There are people I’m no longer friends with, but they helped me so much in life that there had to be a reason that they were here, so they are the temporary soulmates. Then there’s recent people in my life like Eric, and I couldn’t tell you when he became my best friend, but he is, so he’s another one of those best friend soulmates. There are so many people that can come into your life at any given time and you just have to trust that they are there for a reason. Whether they are the Yin to your Yang or the Yin to your Yin, soulmates are all around you.

What do you think?

signature

Hiding Behind a Keyboard

kindness

 

There’s so much hate in the world. Like we can be happy, but the world is not happy. Our environment is dying, we are killing our neighbors, kids can’t eat, and people are having a hard time getting an education, it’s sad, so why are we so mean to each other?

People are mean, I know I can be mean. What I don’t understand- and what really gets to me is cyber bullying and hiding behind a keyboard. It seems like people forget what they say online doesn’t have an affect on the people who are on the receiving end of it. I feel like people think that their words venture into cyberspace and have no repercussions, but they do.

Remember when we were kids and our moms would say “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” that goes for more than just what comes out of our mouths but also out of keyboards. People are much more bold when what they want to say is coming out of their keyboards rather than when it comes out of their mouth. I think we need a new saying, if you wouldn’t say it outloud, should you be sharing it over technology?

Things online are shared at the speed of light. If you say something and it gets shared you can lose a lot. Employers look up what you say online, what are they going to think if all you do is bash people and make fun of people? They aren’t going to want to hire someone that’s mean, it wouldn’t be good for company morale and it doesn’t matter if you would never say anything in person it does no good to do it online either.

There are so many opportunities to be kind and caring online. There are so many chances to be the voice of kindness rather than the voice of harshness and cruelty. I don’t understand why so many people use the internet to spread hate. Everyone has the opportunity to send love and kindness to people throughout the whole world so why not do that? Positive messages can get you so much further and help so many more people

Don’t be negative and mean. Don’t comment nasty things on videos or pictures or articles just because there’s a lot of traction- the mean is what stands out the most and you don’t want to be remembered for being mean or be that person that makes someone’s life harder and hurt them. Be the voice of kindness and love.

signature

I’m Single.

I mean this is fairly obvious I make a lot of jokes about it because it’s just one of those things that at this point in my life I find very humorous. It’s not that I want to be single or in a relationship which is probably one of the many reasons I’m single, I don’t know what I want. I’ve been single for four years now if you count either of my previous relationships as relationships and if you don’t count either then I’ve been single my whole life.

For a while this unsettled me for a while I realized that if I was supposed to be with someone right now I would be. If it was in God’s plan for me to meet someone I would meet someone, what’s the point in seeking out a crush or someone to date if it’s just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? If that’s what you’re looking for it’s probably not going to work out.

After months and months of not even being interested in anyone and just admiring cute boys from afar I’ve realized there’s probably a reason I’m not into anyone. Sure there are times where I think it would be nice or convenient to have a boyfriend, like when I’m trying to take all of my stuff to my room in one trip or when I’m lonely, but that’s not why people actually have relationships. They have relationships because they like someone or love someone even.

I’m single for a lot of reason and while it’s kind of funny I don’t want to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right one, or to find that there isn’t a right one at all. I kinda just want to wait until I like someone and hopefully I’ll be lucky enough that they’ll like me too.

I also am currently in Mary Time which is the time where that I’m allowed to be selfish and only think about myself. Right now I’m in the stage where if someone comes along I would be okay with it, but I’m still allowed to be selfish. I have this whole set of rules that I might as well explain now. So once someone comes in and understand Mary Time then it’s like Mary PLUS Some Random Man’s Time in which before any engagement happens we must be dating for at least five years then and then engaged for a year before any marriage happens. Then it’s Mary Plus Husband Time for the rest of our life but right now I’m being selfish and this is there Mary Time that might never end. I know I can be very selfish and I don’t know if I would want to invite anyone into that mindset of mine.

Anyway that got a little bit of track. I’m okay with being single not only because of my mindset but because of how I feel about guys at the moment. I can’t see myself being with anyone anytime soon and while that may be upsetting for people who aren’t good at being single I like to think that I’m a pro at being single. It get boring but it’s probably for the best for a while or at least I meet someone I actually like.

I was partially inspired by this post by Young & Twenty so if you don’t already go check her out and see what she has to say, because it’s pretty inspiring stuff.

signature

Why it’s Good to Mind Your Business

0d52553647c2b37a9cbe735f1b23baf3

(Image)

I see a lot of articles on why it’s good to have kids young or wait, get married young or wait, move in with a significant other or wait, go to college or not, but really it’s no one’s life but your own. Everyone has an opinion. I understand that, it’s just that your opinion on someone else and their life doesn’t really matter and it shouldn’t affect them either way.

Today I got on Facebook and I saw an article “Why it’s good to get married young” and I was mad at first. It goes on about how it’s God’s gift to be married young, but for someone like me that is nothing that I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want someone judging me for not wanting to get married young, but I also should stop judging people who are at a point in their life where they feel stable enough to get married young.

I think the internet is great and all but I think there are some opinions that are actually personal decisions. I think there is too much pressure on people to make very personal decisions via something they read. I know I’ve read things which referred to me as a terrible Christian room just because I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom, or let alone a mom. This really offended me as a Christian woman and it was just someone’s opinion that was trying to influence my future when really God does call people to the single life and that’s my choice of whether or not to be a mother.

Sure it’s cool to get married at 20 but it’s also just as cool to get married at 65. If you want to have loads of babies go for it, but if you want to have none or one go for it! I’m tired of all these people trying to tell everyone what to do, let them live their lives and mind your own freaking business! I think we are all too far concerned with how other people live their lives and how they should live more like us or the lives we want to have and really NO ONE KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WE ARE ALL JUST FIGURING IT OUT AS WE GO! You can’t do your own life wrong. I mean unless you’re a rapist or something I wouldn’t recommend that lifestyle but honestly everyone has to make their own choices so stop trying to control them. You do you and I’ll do me.

signature