Weekend Coffee Share

If we were having coffee you’d be sitting on the other side of the couch at the home I babysit at every Sunday. We would be watch “13 Reasons Why” and I would be ranting about how much I hate boys and I just want to meet a nice man that treats me right and how I hope so badly it’s the one that’s talking to me now. Then I’d tell you that I don’t think it is, which makes me feel conflicted as conflicted can be.

If we were having coffee I’d be sipping my second big cup of the day. Trying to get rid of the headache, the tiredness I’ve been feeling from barely sleeping the past few weeks, and most importantly, just trying to enjoy the taste and calming down.

If we were having coffee I’d pour you a nice big cup. We would talk about all of the things that have been bothering me. My blog, boys, jobs, everything. I would vent, and then let you vent. I’d probably interrupt because that’s probably my worst habit of all. I’d complain about not knowing what to make for dinner, my diet, and then I would whisper “I’ll probably just go to Subway again.”

If we were having coffee, I’d let you know that I think it’s weird the baby has been sleeping for three hours, but I wouldn’t complain. Trust me I’m thankful. I would then go on to show you pictures of how cute he is, and how thankful I am for all of the wonderful families have allowed me to watch over their children this year.

If we were having coffee, I would probably go on a feminist rant, tell you about how much I love social media, and how I wish my blog would thrive. I’d have a lot to say, but at the same time, nothing at all. I’d open up like I used to on my blog. Before I went public with it, before I was applying for jobs, and before when I didn’t have many friends. I’d share my worries, my thoughts, and my doubts.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you if you want another cup but pour you another no matter what the answer was. The truth is, on Sundays I get to a point where I desperately need to talk to an adult so I wouldn’t really want you to leave.

If we were having coffee, I’d have to eventually excuse myself to get the crying baby and I’d thank you for joining me. I’d invite you back next week and be so happy for my friendships with you.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee?

Advertisements

12 Days of Christmas: Day 9- The Best Bits of Christmas

day 9
My computer is currently resting while it waits for a screw so I’m using my iPad. Therefore, today’s post will be kind of short and simple because I hate typing on my iPad. 

  1. Seeing and spending time with  family. This year it is especially important to me because I missed Thanksgiving so I’m really missing everyone. 
  2. Lots of sweets. I like to try all of the cookies and other things that people bring for dessert. 
  3. Everyone is happy on Christmas. Everyone might be cranky leading up to Christmas but I feel like on Christmas everyone is happy. 
  4. Christmas Eve mass is just beautiful and celebratory and I love that it makes me feel festive every year. 
  5. The food. It’s a feast. 
  6. I love all the decorations. It just shows how much people care about the holiday which I think is pretty cool. 
  7. I find that people ar more generous around the holidays and I’m glad that they are helping and caring for more people.  
  8. The youthfulness it brings to people. I love that people have a childlike attitude at Christmas time. It’s like everyone wants to believe in Santa. 
  9. Festive wear. Holiday sweaters, need I say more?
  10. Love. Everyone loves and shows their love at Christmas time. 

What are your favorite parts of the holiday?

signature

This is the last time I’m asking you…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Can’t Drive 55.”

“Put my name at the top of your list…” This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, “The Last Time”. To me this songs speaks volumes. It means you can only ask so much out of someone. It means you can’t keep leaving and coming back and how fragile people around you are.

“This is the last time I’ve got it wrong” This is the last time, I’m going to make this mistake again. You can make the same mistakes so many time, trust me, I continuously repeat mistakes, but it’s crazy to think that you just keep going back to what’s going to break your heart.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye” We go back to people who break our hearts repeatedly. We trust people continuously. I think in our memories we forget what bad things people did, and have a tendency to remember only the good things, and we continue to let them into our lives even though they will only hurt us more and more.

“I’m not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here” When you care about someone everything goes back to them. We forget where we’re going and what we’re doing, we get so caught up in that person and how much we care that everything falls to the wayside.

“Put my name at the top of your list.” Once you start not meaning something to someone, don’t ask to be put at the top of their list anymore. Once you’re not there anymore you start caring more than them, investing more than them, and are in a position to be hurt a lot more by them. Which is why they “break my heart in the blink of an eye.

“You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave” Sorry’s can only go so far and only fix so much. Sometimes the apology becomes so miniscule that it begins to mean nothing instead.

This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs because there’s so much meaning and emotion in it. Gary Lightbody is also featured in the song, and their harmonies are amazing. When I hear this song I can feel it. It’s everything you want to say to the people who hurt you again and again, but there’s only so many times you can ask why, only so many times they can say sorry, only so many times you both can walk away.

“And all those times I let you in, just for you to go again.”

Now doesn’t that just break your heart. Happy Saturday prompt from the Daily Prompt! What was the last song you listened to?

signature

P.S. I listened to this song the whole time I wrote this post and now I’m obsessed with it like I was when the Red CD came out.

Yin to My Yang: Soulmates

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Yin to My Yang.”

Let me be quite frank, I don’t know if I believe in soulmates the way that people mean the term. I think there are different kind of soulmates, and maybe that the soulmate isn’t just one, I think that there can be more than one because every situation has choices and two people might not make the same decisions every time which can lead to heartbreak, or just a complete breakaway before it even comes to love or the idea of a soulmate, it’s just that they could’ve been one of them.

When I think “Yin to My Yang” I honestly don’t even think about love or a soulmate. I think about my best friends. I’m not really good friends with anyone who is super similar to me. I’m friends with people who contrast me so well that it just works. I don’t ever think about that in relationships like that though. I don’t know why, but when I’m thinking about relationships, I’m never thinking about finding my perfect opposite, I don’t know what I’m thinking about, but I don’t think it’s that.

I once saw soulmates described like this:

“You don’t have only one soul-mate. If you did, you would have married your best friend three years ago. She knows you better than her right hand and she’ll listen to you cry from eight states away. You don’t have only one soul-mate because people wake up different parts of you- parts you never even knew existed. The boy when you were 15 taught you what it felt like to get caught kissing in a closet at the party you never should have been at in the first place, without his lips ever touching yours. When you were 18 a boy let you know what it’s like to have your heart lodged in your throat because he’s moving 2,000 miles away, and he won’t tell you when he’ll be back. You wait until you’re 22 to get attached again, and this time you felt it in every inch. It’s as if you got struck by lightning- the Lichtenberg figure crawls up  your arms and across your back, like his hands on your skin while you laid in bed together and you thought the thump of your heart was in time with his. You don’t have one soul-mate; instead, you have soul-mates, because your heart in huge and you have the room.” –s.m

To me this is the perfect description of soulmates in general. I think there are so many people that your soul connects with and I think that’s the perfect thing about love. That’s the great thing that we get to experience as humans. We get to be Yins and Yangs, for all different people and they get to be that for us. Soulmates don’t always have to be romantic. We can love people without having to worry about if they are the one destined for us because there are so many people that are destined for us. There are so many people that are meant to be in our lives, whether that’s temporary or forever.

I don’t know if any of this is true, but there are so many people in my life that don’t necessarily make sense. Take Hannah for example, if we didn’t meet as children, I don’t know if we ever would have been friends in high school, we were in such different circles, but because of that she has turned into one of my best friend soulmates.  There are people I’m no longer friends with, but they helped me so much in life that there had to be a reason that they were here, so they are the temporary soulmates. Then there’s recent people in my life like Eric, and I couldn’t tell you when he became my best friend, but he is, so he’s another one of those best friend soulmates. There are so many people that can come into your life at any given time and you just have to trust that they are there for a reason. Whether they are the Yin to your Yang or the Yin to your Yin, soulmates are all around you.

What do you think?

signature

Hiding Behind a Keyboard

kindness

 

There’s so much hate in the world. Like we can be happy, but the world is not happy. Our environment is dying, we are killing our neighbors, kids can’t eat, and people are having a hard time getting an education, it’s sad, so why are we so mean to each other?

People are mean, I know I can be mean. What I don’t understand- and what really gets to me is cyber bullying and hiding behind a keyboard. It seems like people forget what they say online doesn’t have an affect on the people who are on the receiving end of it. I feel like people think that their words venture into cyberspace and have no repercussions, but they do.

Remember when we were kids and our moms would say “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” that goes for more than just what comes out of our mouths but also out of keyboards. People are much more bold when what they want to say is coming out of their keyboards rather than when it comes out of their mouth. I think we need a new saying, if you wouldn’t say it outloud, should you be sharing it over technology?

Things online are shared at the speed of light. If you say something and it gets shared you can lose a lot. Employers look up what you say online, what are they going to think if all you do is bash people and make fun of people? They aren’t going to want to hire someone that’s mean, it wouldn’t be good for company morale and it doesn’t matter if you would never say anything in person it does no good to do it online either.

There are so many opportunities to be kind and caring online. There are so many chances to be the voice of kindness rather than the voice of harshness and cruelty. I don’t understand why so many people use the internet to spread hate. Everyone has the opportunity to send love and kindness to people throughout the whole world so why not do that? Positive messages can get you so much further and help so many more people

Don’t be negative and mean. Don’t comment nasty things on videos or pictures or articles just because there’s a lot of traction- the mean is what stands out the most and you don’t want to be remembered for being mean or be that person that makes someone’s life harder and hurt them. Be the voice of kindness and love.

signature

I’m Single.

I mean this is fairly obvious I make a lot of jokes about it because it’s just one of those things that at this point in my life I find very humorous. It’s not that I want to be single or in a relationship which is probably one of the many reasons I’m single, I don’t know what I want. I’ve been single for four years now if you count either of my previous relationships as relationships and if you don’t count either then I’ve been single my whole life.

For a while this unsettled me for a while I realized that if I was supposed to be with someone right now I would be. If it was in God’s plan for me to meet someone I would meet someone, what’s the point in seeking out a crush or someone to date if it’s just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? If that’s what you’re looking for it’s probably not going to work out.

After months and months of not even being interested in anyone and just admiring cute boys from afar I’ve realized there’s probably a reason I’m not into anyone. Sure there are times where I think it would be nice or convenient to have a boyfriend, like when I’m trying to take all of my stuff to my room in one trip or when I’m lonely, but that’s not why people actually have relationships. They have relationships because they like someone or love someone even.

I’m single for a lot of reason and while it’s kind of funny I don’t want to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right one, or to find that there isn’t a right one at all. I kinda just want to wait until I like someone and hopefully I’ll be lucky enough that they’ll like me too.

I also am currently in Mary Time which is the time where that I’m allowed to be selfish and only think about myself. Right now I’m in the stage where if someone comes along I would be okay with it, but I’m still allowed to be selfish. I have this whole set of rules that I might as well explain now. So once someone comes in and understand Mary Time then it’s like Mary PLUS Some Random Man’s Time in which before any engagement happens we must be dating for at least five years then and then engaged for a year before any marriage happens. Then it’s Mary Plus Husband Time for the rest of our life but right now I’m being selfish and this is there Mary Time that might never end. I know I can be very selfish and I don’t know if I would want to invite anyone into that mindset of mine.

Anyway that got a little bit of track. I’m okay with being single not only because of my mindset but because of how I feel about guys at the moment. I can’t see myself being with anyone anytime soon and while that may be upsetting for people who aren’t good at being single I like to think that I’m a pro at being single. It get boring but it’s probably for the best for a while or at least I meet someone I actually like.

I was partially inspired by this post by Young & Twenty so if you don’t already go check her out and see what she has to say, because it’s pretty inspiring stuff.

signature

Why it’s Good to Mind Your Business

0d52553647c2b37a9cbe735f1b23baf3

(Image)

I see a lot of articles on why it’s good to have kids young or wait, get married young or wait, move in with a significant other or wait, go to college or not, but really it’s no one’s life but your own. Everyone has an opinion. I understand that, it’s just that your opinion on someone else and their life doesn’t really matter and it shouldn’t affect them either way.

Today I got on Facebook and I saw an article “Why it’s good to get married young” and I was mad at first. It goes on about how it’s God’s gift to be married young, but for someone like me that is nothing that I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want someone judging me for not wanting to get married young, but I also should stop judging people who are at a point in their life where they feel stable enough to get married young.

I think the internet is great and all but I think there are some opinions that are actually personal decisions. I think there is too much pressure on people to make very personal decisions via something they read. I know I’ve read things which referred to me as a terrible Christian room just because I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom, or let alone a mom. This really offended me as a Christian woman and it was just someone’s opinion that was trying to influence my future when really God does call people to the single life and that’s my choice of whether or not to be a mother.

Sure it’s cool to get married at 20 but it’s also just as cool to get married at 65. If you want to have loads of babies go for it, but if you want to have none or one go for it! I’m tired of all these people trying to tell everyone what to do, let them live their lives and mind your own freaking business! I think we are all too far concerned with how other people live their lives and how they should live more like us or the lives we want to have and really NO ONE KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WE ARE ALL JUST FIGURING IT OUT AS WE GO! You can’t do your own life wrong. I mean unless you’re a rapist or something I wouldn’t recommend that lifestyle but honestly everyone has to make their own choices so stop trying to control them. You do you and I’ll do me.

signature

A Planner.

I’m a planner, and I’m pretty sure this drives just about everyone in my life a little bit nuts. I’m not a spontaneous kind of person, like sure a spontaneous trip to the mall cool, but I’m not good when I know something’s happening but there’s no plans for it. This is why I freak out about the future. Anyway, since I’m a planner something I plan on doing is having every person I love and cherish in my life forever. This is a mistake my friends.

While it might be nice to plan on having Jane from kindergarten at your wedding, yet she moved in the first grade and you haven’t seen her since, it’s pretty impractical that every person you have ever met in your life forever. I think this is particularly hard, well at least for me, when certain people have had such a large impact on your life. Now, no, I’m not one of those girls with a wedding board on Pinterest (feel free to follow me @mrmilligan13), but if I do get married, I expect all of my friends now to be there. Yet, a few months ago I wrote a letter to myself on the occasion if I ever do get married, and someone I mentioned in there is no longer a part of my life, and there are also a few more people now who mean a lot more to me.

I always count on having my friends there for me. I assume that when I’m 87 years old that one of my friends will be in my nursing home, assuming and hoping I didn’t out live them all. I assume and have the idea that once someone in my life is there, they’re going to stay there. I don’t know why I would ever count on anyone leaving. My planning mind plans for these people to always be there no matter what the situation that those I love and care for will always be there for me. I don’t know why I would think anything else.

I think that if the day comes and I either birth a child (probably not) or adopt (a lot more likely) that I’ll call Lindsay and tell her about the funny stuff it says or that I’ll share the gross vomit story with Zoe. I don’t expect that people are going to leave my life and unless something they do or say hurts me or someone else I care about I won’t leave theirs either.

This accounts for disappointment sometimes, especially when you count on someone being there for you and they aren’t. When I lose a friend I obviously take it very personally. Contrary to what people may think of me, it takes a lot in me to cut someone out of my life, no matter how good it is for my mental well being. It takes a lot for me to just give up on someone. It takes a lot in me to just not care anymore. It obviously takes a lot just to walk out of someone’s life when you’re counting on them being there for every event to come. Yet, it is nice to think that in the coming years my true friends will emerge, if not already, the high school drama that’s carried into college will hopefully fade, and friends will just be friends not pieces of a board game.

signature

Why Everyone Deserves a “Jim”

If you aren’t familiar with me, you may not know that I love “The Office” and I have a particular crush on Jim. Why? First of all he’s handsome, secondly he’s funny, thirdly he did everything he could to win the woman he loved. In my opinion every woman should be waiting for their “Jim”.

  1. Thoughtfulness is key in every relationship and Jim got that.  While Pam was still with Roy, Jim proved how much better he was by giving her a fully loaded iPod with songs she loved. A kind and caring gesture from a friend.
  2. If you’re having a bad day he can cheer you up by telling you the pranks that day. For example, any prank Jim played on Dwight, I am still partial to the stapler in Jello.
  3. Patience is a virtue that should be in any relationship/friendship/family or anything. Jim waited years for Pam, he knew all along that she was the one and he waited for her. Although their timing took a while to work out, it took time but it worked out great for them.
  4. You should be supportive of a partner. Jim supported Pam through art school, failing, and even though it didn’t work out for her. That’s what caused him to propose because the distance couldn’t separate them. IN THE RAIN NOLESS! PERFECT!
  5. Tolerance is something that is good to have. Jim displays this everyday for the first seven season whenever Michael has a problem he typically does a good job of dealing with it.
  6. Ironic creativity is very attractive. A piece of paper for halloween, what could be better?
  7. Plan B’s are always important incase something goes wrong. I’m just saying the plan b wedding plan could’ve been plan a, there is nothing more romantic than getting married on the Maid of the Mist. Except for maybe proposing in the rain.
  8. Always caring. Jim cares for Pam even before they’re dating. He takes care of her when she’s drunk, doesn’t hold it over her that she kisses him, he is there for her when her relationship with Roy ends. There is always something about her that he cares about no matter what the relationship and that is very important. He’s always a shoulder to cry or sleep on.
  9. As much as you tease someone you still care about them as a person. When Jim finds out about Dwight’s beet farm he takes Pam there on their first night away to be a supportive friend. No matter how dysfunctional their friendship is he still leave him a great review and shows he cares.
  10. Life is too short not to take risks. Jim risks a friendship to tell Pam he likes her and even though it doesn’t work out right away eventually it does and it’s all worth it.

tumblr_ncwk0hMLeh1qfj2hto1_500

Source

signature

A Missed Opportunity.

tumblr_m7furmiYlY1qjmlkdo1_r1_500

If you’re anything like me you might be afraid of missing an opportunity, any opportunity, every opportunity, just because of one decision you make. I’m always wondering what would my life be like if I would have done something differently.

I’ve been watching a lot of short films lately, it’s my new thing. In a lot of the romantic films someone missed a chance, but a lot of other took a chance. I think we need to do more of that, take more chances. If we took more chances we wouldn’t have so many regrets and I think that’s really important. Does anyone actually like to have regrets? Of course not, can we help it? Only sometimes. We shouldn’t be afraid to take a risk or two.

We focus on what can go wrong, not on anything that can go right. We mess up once and it prevents us from taking chances. You fight with a friend so you make less friends. You get annoyed and every person annoys you that day, you take it out on someone and then have the potential to lose that person. We let the negativity get to us and focus on all things bad, I know we do because I do it too.

If we were more positive and took more risks I think we would be a happier people. We would look at each other and see the good instead of seeing the time that a person hurt us, yet we live in this place where everyone has trust issues. You can’t trust a friend because they lied. You can’t buy something off of eBay because someone scammed you out $20. You can’t walk down the street without a can of pepper spray because of what you see on the news. We lived in a messed up world where risks hurt us so we don’t take them. Where once something bad happens we can never do it again. We are so afraid of risks and trusting people because someone screwed us over. That’s not fair.

Starting today, I’m going to take more chances, trust more people, and make the change to be a happier person. Why do we like to sit in our own sorrow and misery? Maybe it’s comforting, maybe it’s familiar and we think everyone does it. I’m stopping, making a change to be positive. I’m going to live for the now and to be happier and bring happiness to other people.

temp