30 Things Before 30

I’m getting old, my mom won’t like to read it but it’s true. I will be 23 by mid September. I started a big girl job. I’ve been eating salad. You know, adult things. So 30 is just under 7 and a half years away and there’s a lot I would like to do between now and then so I thought I would share my 30 things before 30 list!

  1. See at least 30 states.
  2. Get paid for a freelance gig.
  3. Travel to a new continent.
  4. Develop a healthy diet and regular exercise routine.
  5. Visit 7 new countries.
  6. Start the adoption process.
  7. Read 300 books.
  8. Curate a collection of my own recipes.
  9. Take three random classes just because.
  10. Go vegan for a month.
  11. Take a vacation just to relax.
  12. Buy a house.
  13. Volunteer using talents.
  14. Get Leslie a friend.
  15. Visit somewhere new for at least a month.
  16. Become a blogging “expert”.
  17. Make time for vacation every year.
  18. Create a budget and stick to it, allowing it to fluctuate as finances change.
  19. Learn how to let go of material items.
  20. Strive to spend majority of time with enjoyable tasks.
  21. Find a go-to therapist.
  22. Take a real picture everyday for a year.
  23. Post 700 blog posts.
  24. Take 20 minutes once a week to do nothing.
  25. Face a fear every year.
  26. Figure out how to use the Super 8 camera.
  27. Have a real “Treat Yo’ Self” day every year, but save for it.
  28. Live alone.
  29. Share passion with others.
  30. Make a positive impact on someone’s life.

What do you want to do before you turn 30?

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 21

late night blogging with mary

Have I said recently that I’m exhausted? The classwork is non-stop this semester which explains my unfortunate lack of posting. It’s a lot at once or like none, I just need to remember when it’s none to stay on top of it. But at the same time, when it there isn’t any homework to do there’s a million other things to do. Basically I’m very tired a lot of the time.

Let’s also talk about anxiety for a moment. I hate it. I hate when I’m fine for so long, then like it hits me like a ton of bricks. I just feel like right now there’s expectations of me from everyone and I’m afraid to disappoint people and then I have my own stuff to do and it leads to a mind overload. I also feel like it’s too early in the semester for this. I don’t know, hopefully it doesn’t stick around because I am too tired for this.

On a side note, I’m starting another blog for class, so I’ll be sharing that here too.  Once something is up, I’ll share the link. It’s a crafting blog and once the class is over, hopefully I’ll be in the habit so I’ll be able to do some more of those on this blog. However, I have to do 14 posts for that class, so there’s a chance that there will be less posts on here. I’m basically MIA anyway so maybe it won’t even matter.

I also have a little bit of a rant for this LNBM, Netflix on my iPad has not been working. It logs me out all the time, once an episode finishes I have to kill the app and sometimes login again just to get it to work. How am I supposed to hate Nurse Jackie if I can’t even watch the show?!

Speaking of Nurse Jackie, what a weird show. I’ve never hated the main character of a TV show so much. When I watched Gossip Girl, I disliked the main characters in a rotating fashion, every four episodes I didn’t like a new person, however, it wasn’t consistent dislike of anyone. Nurse Jackie, on the other hand, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually liked her character. I don’t know if that’s how it’s supposed to be or if that’s just me. I really liked Zoey at first, but then all the sudden she’s a mini-Jackie. I just don’t know. Anyone else have an opinion?

What are your late night thoughts? Mine are: going to bed before my  mind literally explodes.

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Dealing with Sadness.

Four years ago today, my grandmother died. I don’t talk about this here. This is my corner of the internet and I have never talked about one of the worst days of my life, why? Because I don’t always want to be negative, and I don’t know how to talk about it. My grandmom got sick when I was in 8th grade for the first time, then it came back and it never went away and she died my junior  year of high school.

Now that’s about how much I can talk about that. Because here’s the thing I don’t like to deal with sadness, especially  my own. This is the worst thing you can do. Face it. I can’t face this problem online, but I have faced it. You have friends that you can talk to, parents, even counselors at most colleges and high schools.

Sadness isn’t something you can avoid. It’s something you have to talk about. It’s one of those things that if you bottle it up you aren’t going to get anywhere or feel any better. You need to talk to someone.

So deal with your sadness. Don’t hold it in. If you hold it in, it will hurt you in the long run. This is just something I think about every year around this time. The longer you hold it in the more it’s going to hurt. So talk about it. It’s something I struggle with but I force myself to talk so I stop dwelling. There are some things you might never move on from and the sadness will always be there, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore it.

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What To Do When You’re Anxious

Anxiety is something that can strike at anytime, here are my tips on ways to handle anxiety and what you should do when your anxious.

  • If you can, leave the situation that’s making you anxious. This won’t always be the case, sometimes you’re at work or school or whatever else, but if you can leave. Remove yourself from the situation.
  • Take a nap. Anxiety attacks are physically exhausting. Your body releases adrenaline, which after an extreme release that can make you just exhausted. take a nap, it’ll help you feel better.
  • Take a shower. It’s very easy to not take a shower when you don’t want to do anything, however, you will feel so much better once you wash all of the anxious feeling right down the drain. It also is one step closer to getting yourself and life together.
  • Make a to-do list. I know this won’t help everyone, it might make some people feel more organized. Personally, I can better evaluate my life when I make lists, it helps me feel better, and as I cross things off the list it makes the anxiety lessen with each check mark.
  • Go on a walk/run/jog or do some exercise of some sort. A lot of people find yoga really helpful. Personally, I am not an athletic person at all, but I do find it very therapeutic to sprint as far as I can just to get all of my anxious feelings out.

What do you do when you’re anxious? These are really just some of my best tips on what to do when your anxious!

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Anxiety and Traveling.

travel and anxiety

Anxiety and traveling for some people aren’t a good mix. For some people who don’t suffer from general anxiety like myself, they can suffer from travel anxiety. The act of traveling alone can cause anxious feelings and can even result in panic attacks which can seriously make a vacation turn sour.

One of my biggest fears since I deal with anxiety is letting it ruin things I want to do, and one of the main things I want to do in life is travel. Because of this I do try to take my traveling as relaxed, simple, and as smooth as possible. So here are some tips so that you can do the same!

  1. Keep mental list of where all of your important documents are. If you’re going international be sure to keep your passport and boarding pass together, as well as any other documents you might be. For example in the fall when I get off the plane I’ll make sure to have my passport and entry note in my hand.
  2. Have a plan for the travels. If it’s a new airport, look up where your terminal is online. Know where you’re supposed to go and be. Have print out directions and use your phone or GPS to travel. It often helps if you have various sources to ensure you’re traveling to the right place.
  3. Have a plan for the arrival. If you have something to look forward to it can make the traveling process seem more worth it. If you have anxiety about being away from home, you can do a countdown of day until you get to leave, just don’t forget to enjoy your time away. If the journey makes you anxious looking forward to what the reward is can really help to relax your mind.
  4. Bring comforts. For some the unfamiliarity of traveling can cause anxiety, if you have something that comforts you and you have the ability to bring it along, do it. It’ll definitely make the journey easier.
  5. Know things can go wrong. I honestly go into everything expecting the worst. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you travel, if you’re prepared for them it won’t make them seem as bad.
  6. Be early. I know this is like my life motto, if you aren’t early you’re late, but when it comes to travelling it’s true. I would rather sit in an airport for three hours and people watch than trying to rush through security and running to my terminal. Same goes for driving, you can’t always plan for traffic. Leave early. Always be early. Rushing can cause anxiety, so the less of it you can do the better.
  7. Plan ahead. When you set an agenda and plans months in advance you can start to prepare your mind for the travels. If you have your mind prepared you will be prepared and less anxious. This really helps for just keeping a sound mind.
  8. Be ready for panic attacks. Be ready to calm yourself down. If you can have exit strategies, if you can’t try to have someone with you who understands. If you can’t do that either, make sure if anyone notices they understand what is going on. The last thing you want is a lot of attention because it will only fuel the anxiety. If you’re on the plane take a little walk through the aisles so you feel less claustrophobic. If you are in a car, pull over. Know how to slow down the panic or stop it, or know techniques that work for other people. It really is the worse case scenario that this would happen, but it does, and helps if you are prepared.
  9. Create a happy place. Make a distraction from whatever is stressing you out. Try to focus on something that doesn’t fuel the anxiety. Make a happy place in your mind where you can go when you close your eyes.
  10. Take a break. When you feel anxious sometimes you need a break. You just need to take a step back and breathe. Walk away, refresh your mind, don’t forget to drink lots of water. Take care of yourself. If you have to remove yourself, do it. You know your limits, don’t forget them.

Don’t let anxiety ruin adventure and travel for you. There’s so much to see and do in the world, and if you don’t want to see it that’s okay, but if you do, don’t let anxiety take that away. I am so afraid of that, but it also helps me be aware. You can travel with anxiety, it doesn’t have to stop you, I refuse to let it stop me.

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An Open Letter to My Anxiety

To my anxiety-

You are the worst part about me, and I’m not enjoying your late night visits.

You’ve been gone for a while, only making visits at normal times, maybe just give me a few surprise attacks here and there, thanks for that. I know you’re a part of me, that little messed up part of my brain that doesn’t like the rest of me for some reason. The part of my brain that makes me think everyone hates me, the part of my brain that picks at every insecurity, the part of the brain that makes it hard to move some days, the part I hate the most.

You are the secret I’ve been keeping recently until now. No one really knows your back but me. You are becoming overbearing again. You are trying to take over my life. No matter how often the people around me validate their feelings for me, not matter how good of a job I’m doing on something, you are the part of me that destroys that.

Thank you for constantly reminding me of the B- in philosophy and belittling it even though I should be proud of because I worked so hard for it. Thank you for reminding me that even though I put forth so much effort that people who did less still did better than me. That had to be your favorite class because that is where I felt you the most, preventing me from raising my hand, preventing me from sharing my opinion, just in case it was wrong. Thank you for making me feel worthless for being unemployed and making me question my marketability. You get inside my head and make me feel as if there is something wrong with me because I can’t even get a call or an email about a job.

You have yet to start to interfere with relationships, but that won’t last long. You come out in an angry fury at the smallest things that drives rifts into the strongest of relationships. The longer you stay, the sooner this will happen. You ruin everything you touch, which leads me to believe that I will ruin everything I touch.

Thank you for making me feel as if I’m undesirable. Thank you for ruining any potential crush of mine by letting me know that no one could want someone who cries when there are too many people in a room or shuts down when one little thing isn’t where it’s supposed to be. You not only remind me of every imperfection that my body unfortunately has, but make me feel as if I am crazy too.

You belittle me until I feel hardly anything. You make me not even want to post this because you are the voice in my head that tells me that people will judge me, they won’t want to be around me. They don’t take you seriously, they think I make you up. Because you are the voices of the people who claim “you’re faking it” or the people who say “you’re being over dramatic” or “you can’t have anxiety when you have no problems” “You just need to calm down, and you’ll be fine”. You are the voices of those who don’t believe in you which is one of the most ironic things of all. The voices who don’t take me seriously, the voices who don’t even believe you are a real thing period. You are the judgment I receive anytime I try to be open with my anxiety because it is a discussion that society needs to have and try to better understand, not for me, but for the millions of people suffering.

Even after you subsided for months, letting me feel as if I’m in control for maybe even a week, you take it all away from me. You are the worst part of me, the most controlling part of me, the part that I just wish would go away.

To my anxiety- please go away.

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Healthy Hobbies = Probable Progress

A Collaboration between gettingthroughanxiety.wordpress.com and Mary at marysaverageadventures.wordpress.com

While many of us struggle with anxiety, the ways in which we struggle vary. While certain issues may not apply to everyone, I think a major issue that is usually attached to anxiety is overthinking and focusing too much on irrational fears. Along with practice and exercise, an important step in getting through anxiety is finding a way to get our minds on something other than our fears. While this step can certainly be difficult since fear can be a very powerful force, there are ways to turn negative thinking into positive energy by concentrating and working on things we enjoy instead of fear.

It can be hard to focus on something other than our anxiety when it is so strong. However, there are plenty of positive things we can focus on. There are so many hobbies in the world to choose from; healthy ways to get into action and be productive instead of spending all your time and energy on something that holds you back and makes you feel limited.

Hobbies. Hobbies are employed not only by those of us who suffer from anxiety, but by almost everyone in the world. Hobbies have the ability to take our minds off of the things that slow us down.

Boredom is one of the worst things for anxiety. Oftentimes, when we are bored, our minds begin to wander. Unfortunately, for those of us who suffer from anxiety, most of the time when our minds wander, we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. Hobbies can help us change our thought process, they can give us something entertaining and healthy to do.

I’ve always been someone who is often bored. I was always telling my parents when I was younger how bored I was and I still find myself saying it sometimes. However, I have found that hobbies are a great way to keep busy and keep focused on what we are doing instead of how we are feeling. Here are some of the hobbies I have started to do. I will explain just how they help get my mind off of my anxiety.

Puzzles- Working on a puzzle that is challenging helps the person working on it focus on the task at hand instead of what is bothering them. Puzzles take a lot of attention to detail and hard work and because of this, puzzles are a great way to get your mind on something other than your usual negative thoughts. Puzzles, much like being successful in getting through anxiety, also enables a person to feel successful when they find the piece they are looking for. Seeing that you can do a challenging puzzle may also help you realize that you have the ability, with hard work, to get through your anxiety. Puzzles, while not as challenging as fear, show that just because something is hard, does not make it impossible! Puzzles are also colorful and can cheer you up simply by staring at the vast amount of colors!

Reading- Reading a good book that you can really get into can help immensely with anxiety. I’ve read books before that don’t quite do the trick but when a book is really interesting, I’ve found reading helpful. Reading a good story helps us fall under the spell of another world, a world where fascinating things can happen. Even if there are parts of the story that are stressful for the character in the book, the stressful situation is part of the character’s life and not ours. Also, while we need to deal with reality, there is nothing wrong with taking a break from our own lives and diving into the fictional life (or non-fictional life) of a story and a character.

Movies & TV- Watching calming TV shows (or at least ones that aren’t too anxiety inducing) is a great way to get our minds off anxiety. While we shouldn’t watch too much TV (sorry to sound like a parent), watching TV can be a great way to concentrate on what’s going on in the show instead of our own hectic lives or situations. The benefits of watching TV to get our minds on something other than stress is similar to that of reading a book. However, for those of us who may want to visually see something distracting instead of having to make up our own images in our mind, a TV show is a great way for almost all of the senses to lose themselves in something entertaining. By hearing people talking in TV shows, we get distracted from our fears. By watching TV, we are able to visually see something which in turn, helps us focus on the show instead of anything else. Movies do the same thing!

Crafts- For me, hobbies have always revolved around being creative. I’m no artist, I can hardly draw a stick person but, that doesn’t stop me. One of my favorite things to do is paint pottery. The simplicity of just doing basic painting strokes really helps me feel at peace and forget everything that makes me anxious.

Writing- Whether I’m writing about what’s going on in my head or about something to distract me, it can really help. Words are an escape whether it’s through writing or reading. Writing helps to put negative energy into something more positive that helps you get it out. When you want to get your feelings out without actually talking about it.

Writing- Writing a story or book also helps you create your own world. You are able to focus on something that you created, but in a positive way. Instead of focusing on anxiety that you may have created, you can focus on something you are good at: writing. When you are working hard on your writing, it’s hard to focus on your fears. Also, not only does writing stories or poetry help you get your feelings out, but if you share your works, you can also feel good knowing that you are sharing your feelings with others and possibly, even connecting and helping them.

Sports- Sports are a great way to get out your frustrations in a more physical way. I know when I’m really anxious I run, I sprint as fast as I can for as long as I can. It’s almost like physically running away from your problems, without actually hiding from your issues. In most sports, like soccer, baseball, any type of hockey, tennis, or several other sports, you can hit things, and that physical release can really help to get out anxieties. Using sports as a hobby is a healthy release of our fears or anger, instead of an unhealthy way.

Exercising/Stretching/Practicing- While perhaps not always considered a hobby, exercising and practicing facing your fears should also become a habit. By consistently exercising and stretching, you prove to yourself that you can get through your anxiety and other issues. Also, by facing your fears, you are allowing yourself to make progress and you can begin to see that you are capable of doing so.

While anxiety may seem all consuming and unbearable a lot of the time, hobbies can help to be a distraction and a relieving way to release some of your built up anxieties. All of these hobbies distract you from the negative energy your body is holding against you. Whether it’s running, puzzles, yoga, or painting, you can find a sense of security in a hobby. I really encourage the use of hobbies as a way of handling anxiety. While it may not be entirely distracting, it is a good way of releasing those bad feelings that anxiety bring you.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 14

blog challenge day 14

For me, this is pretty easy to answer. The biggest problem I’ve faced in recent years especially, is my anxiety. It’s a problem that’s affected a lot more of my life than I would care to admit. Not only has it been a problem but it’s caused me more problems.

Looking back on my life I think I was anxious longer than I realized. It’s problem that I often choose to ignore- which yes is very stupid, but it’s the biggest problem I face on what I would say a daily basis. It has gotten a lot better since I’ve been making sure that I don’t put myself in situations where I feel unsafe or uncomfortable. In situations where I do get anxious it has gotten harder to stop it since it hasn’t been happening as often.

There are definitely things that I have not been doing because of my anxiety. I won’t do certain things, especially by myself. Yes, I try to challenge myself with things like trying to study abroad, but there are things like driving to new places with bad directions that are making me very anxious still that I’m unfortunately choosing not to deal with.

I am very well aware that this is my biggest problem and it’s probably something that I am always going to have to deal with. There are always going to be triggers and things that make me snap and go into a full out panic, but I will hopefully continue to get better and not be in the place I was this time last year and throughout the summer. It comes in waves of good and bad, which I think this is most likely how the rest of my life will pan out. Unfortunately I will make my problem other people’s problem as well which doesn’t seem fair. I hope that I will get to a place one day where a panic attack and an escape route is not something constantly on my mind.

Anxiety is my biggest problem. I don’t know if it will always be because life has a way of throwing curveballs at people but for right now I think it’s something that I’m always going to have to deal with and I’ve finally accepted that. It’s a part of me- not a part of me I’m proud of but it’s me and it’s what makes me who I am and helps me to make decisions. Unfortunately it’s a part of me that I have to form my life around and plan around but as long as I’m surrounded that I’m comfortable with I’m fine.

Also just a disclaimer, right now for the most part I’m fine. So  if you know me in real life no need to check up on me because I’m all good!

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It’s Hard to Explain

The thing with suffering from major anxiety and panic attacks like I have been for the past several days it’s hard to explain to people who don’t get it. I’ve been emailing with someone who does, and it’s so much easier talking to them than it is talking to someone who just doesn’t get it. Trying to explain you hardly understand yourself is really hard.

There are times where I just sit and sob for no reason. I’ll be in the car and I’ll just start crying. I can’t help it and I wish I could. People don’t get that. People don’t understand that I can’t control my anxious emotions and what comes with them, because trust me, no one wishes that I could more than me. I wish I could do certain things without panicking but I can’t. There are many times that I just collapse in fear of literally nothing but my own thoughts and that’s the hardest thing to explain.

It’s a struggle to leave the house or get up some mornings, yesterday for example. I’ve been finding peace in crafts, especially painting pottery. Yet, hanging out with other people is just not something I want to do, I don’t want to try and explain my sudden desire to leave. It’s hard to be with people and talk to people and be out and about when your mind is constantly looking for an exit plan. Whenever I leave my house I’m developing an exit plan as soon as I’m out the door. If I’m in a situation that involves sitting for any amount of time, I sit on the end, unless someone can approach me from the end, then I sit only one seat in. If I’m going out to eat, I have some sort of plan in case I have to leave quickly, and if it’s a rough day, I’m not going to order any food incase I have to leave and I don’t even have enough time to pay. How do you explain this to someone?

How do you explain that you don’t want to leave the house? How do you explain that before you go somewhere new you have to look it up so you know what to expect? How do you explain to a friend that you need to go home because you think you can’t breathe? These are the questions I ask myself as it gets worse and worse. It’s even harder when it comes to family sometimes because you see how it affects them. You see how they struggle trying to understand when you can’t even explain yourself. You can’t tell them what’s going on in your own mind and it’s frustrating. In my case I yell because I’m frustrated with myself, but yelling doesn’t help anyone. I yell because I don’t know what my mind is doing and it drives me crazy. I hate having no control over myself and that’s how I feel about 99% of the time. When you can’t explain how your mind works to the people you love the most it’s really frustrating for everyone.

There are times where it’s hard to do anything and I don’t know how to handle myself some days. On Friday it got so bad I just turned everything off. My phone went off, my laptop went off and that’s why I wasn’t around. Yesterday I didn’t want to write that’s why it was shit. It’s painful to get online when things make you anxious on social media. I don’t need to see tweets about stupid things (even though I tweet stupid things half the time) that’s not stuff I need to concern myself with when I spend half of my day crying.

I’m not sure why I felt the need to write all of this out. I just felt like I think people need to know that it’s hard to explain yourself when you don’t even understand what’s going on. My head is a mess of thoughts and I can’t distinguish things I should and shouldn’t be afraid of. It sucks but that’s who I am. I’m trying to cope and lately it’s not working. I’m just sharing it here so people understand why it’s hard for people like me to do a lot of things. I know that sounds dumb but I literally have no idea what’s going on in my head the majority of the time.

XOXO,

Mary.

Understanding Anxiety

Depending on how long you’ve been around, you may or may not know that I suffer from anxiety. As someone who goes through this and often makes my friends and family suffer with me, there are some aspects of it that people just don’t get, and often times it just seems like common sense. To prevent this from happening anymore. I’ve compiled a list of things that people have either said to me or that I’ve have stumbled upon which have made me come to the conclusion that sometimes people just don’t understand. Also, I would just like to clarify that this is to help people not to put blame or make people feel bad.

  1. “Just breathe.” If it was that easy I wouldn’t be having a panic attack. Trust me I’m trying to breathe and calm down. It’s not like I’m choosing to gasp for air.
  2. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Okay, not breathing really isn’t that bad. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night short of breath, tears streaming down your face, completely confused about what’s going on. It’s like a nightmare but when you wake up its worse because it’s real. So please don’t tell someone with anxiety that it’s not that bad.
  3. Anxiety Are you one of the lucky ones who suffers from anxiety?” I found this on a site I use to spark inspiration and it made me really mad not only because I like using this for inspiration, but because it’s kind of ignorant. Suffering from anxiety is not lucky, it’s annoying. I mean there are definitely worse things that could happen, but it’s not lucky.
  4. “It’s easy to fix.” Okay yes I understand I could seek help or get medication and I probably should, but I’m not ready. For me, personally to be able to do that I have to be emotionally ready to ask for help. Right now the best outlet is me writing about it. I have anxiety posts not published, things written in notebooks, and things I read to try and help in the moment. It takes each person their own time to fix their problem.
  5. “That shouldn’t make you anxious.” I’m pretty well aware that single stall bathrooms shouldn’t make me anxious. I’m pretty well aware that as soon as there are more than seven people in the room I shouldn’t feel anxious. I’m very well aware that sleeping shouldn’t make me anxious. Trust me when I say if I could stop these things from making me feel anxious I would. I can’t control that when I wake up from a nap I have a panic attack about how much time I just wasted. I can’t help it.
  6. “I don’t understand why you can’t go out for a night, it’s just one party.” Yes, I understand it’s just a party, but for me I’ll stand there, by myself, in a corner, waiting for the police to come. You’ll be wasted and I’ll be waiting to go back to my room. Eventually there will be pressure to drink, pressure to dance with drunk boys, pressure to go wherever people go at parties, and I’ll be confined to my corner, eventually having to venture back myself because I mentally/emotionally/ physically can’t handle it anymore.
  7. “Take it one step at a time.” Okay so let me concentrate on studying for a bio test when I have a sociology test too, no that’s not how it works for me. I’ll start studying for bio, but then all of the sudden hits me that I don’t know what the functionalist view of deviance is compared to the symbolic interactionist view, so I stop studying for bio to study that. Then I finally get to the next step in sociology when I no longer remember the difference between mitosis and meiosis. Not only does this make me incredibly anxious but it makes me do poorly too, because I can’t focus on just one thing.
  8. “You don’t look anxious.” First of all, what does that even mean? This is something that’s actually been said to me. Sorry I don’t look like I suffer from anxiety? Just because at the moment I might be fine and laughing does not mean that I’m not an anxious person. Yes I laugh, yes I smile, but I do have my days where I don’t want to get out of bed and I just want to cry all day.
  9. “That gave me such a panic attack.” Or other phrases along those lines. To me it’s not a joke, things that happen LITERALLY give me panic attacks. Not things that simply scare me. Trust me you would know if you had a panic attack. I read somewhere  that “it’s not an adjective” used to describe experiences, it’s a very real verb.
  10. “Get over it and just do it.” Sounds like a great idea and trust me I’ve tried. I love Zoe (Zoella on YouTube) and I really admire how she just says “yes” to everything, it’s inspiring and trust me I’m trying that, however it’s not always the best solution for everyone. There are just some things at this point in my life that I just can’t do. When you say “get over it” or “just try it” to someone with anxiety, they might’ve already done it or something similar and it just didn’t go well. I can’t go to parties, sometimes even to like neighborhood things, I can’t handle it. Being pressured to go to parties is so annoying at college because people don’t understand that I can’t do it. I just can’t.

The bottom line is when someone you know/love has anxiety it’s best not to assume anything or take it as a joke. It’s probably a lot more serious than you thought it was mostly because they don’t like to talk about it. I hope this helps people to better understand the feelings behind anxiety and how it is for that person and the fact that what you say to someone has a big impact. It’s a sensitive matter and many people don’t always see it as one. The main reason I wrote this was because I was tired of hearing these things and I’m sure a lot of other people are too. I know that when you say these things you aren’t saying them with the intention of being hurtful or insensitive, that’s why I wrote it, so you know and you can be informed citizens. Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Mary.