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Pause

Mary2 Comments

via Daily Prompt: Pause

I saw the Daily Prompt for today was “Pause” and it ties in a little too perfectly with my life right now.

I keep hitting the fast forward button when I should be hitting pause. I shouldn’t be wishing my last six weeks of college away, yet here I am staring at my semi-daunting to-do list not wanting to do any of it.

I’m waiting for the end of the week, waiting to hear if I got a job or two, or none. But I shouldn’t be waiting for that moment. I should be savoring every moment. Cherishing the time I spend with the kids I watch because soon (well hopefully) I’ll be working full time and I probably won’t be a nanny anymore. I should be taking mental pictures of every meal with my roommates, every time I walk across the cherry-blossom filled campus, and just every little moment that I can hold on to, I should be holding on.

I’ve reached a point where I’m so focused on whatever’s next that I’m not pausing anymore, when really I should be pausing more. No more fast forward, just a nice hold down on the pause so it’s almost a stop.

My mom told me when I was starting high school that life would only get faster, I don’t know if I didn’t believe her, or just didn’t know what she was talking about, but she was right. I’ve been blogging for three and a half years, it feels like it was just yesterday I was cursing WordPress for being stupid (eh could’ve been yesterday) but my time online and in college has been flying by. I can’t believe that I’m graduating in six weeks, but here I am wishing I was graduating tomorrow just to get on with the next part of life.

I think that’s probably not just a me problem, even more of a societal problem. We’re so focused on the future, what are we doing this weekend, next week, the next deadline. We forget to focus on what is happening right now. Right now is what really matters. Maybe we all need to take some time and just pause.

So take a moment, pause, reflect, think about right now. Right now, I’m at work, right now, I’m at a decent place in my life, right now.

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Mental Pictures.

MaryLeave a comment

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I’m one of those people who love to capture the moment, take a picture and remember it forever. I’m very big on memories, I don’t know why because they kind of prevent me from living in the now, but memories are just something I really cherish.

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I try and take a lot of pictures. I’m bad at the mental pictures. I try my best to remember moments but it’s hard. Like there are some moments I really remember, like that I can remember living, but the picture just backs up how I was feeling in that moment. I can look at a picture and remember why I was laughing or what I was thinking, a picture is a solidified moment in time to remember.

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Pictures become these very physical things of such memories and I think it’s beautiful. There’s nothing I love more than looking back at a picture and remembering the details of a moment. It’s amazing that a single picture can bring up so many memories and feelings from such different times.

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The thing is with pictures is that they only really help you remember the good. You might look at a picture and think “Oh I didn’t want to take that” or “I was really unhappy at that point in my life” but for me, I’m so much more inclined to focus on the good of the moment rather than all of the bad. The good seems to outweigh that bad in photographic memories.

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That’s why I like to take pictures. I like to remember.

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