Someday.

One thing I try not to do on here is get too cheesy or cliche, but isn’t that what life is? One big cheesy cliche? In my opinion, yes that is exactly what life is like.  I have recently started thinking about my future, but more in the sense of my personal life than career options. If you have been a reader for a while you may know my recent story about a bad guy who played me, if your new, find the post on it, I’m sure it’s mentioned in many, anyway because of that for a while I have been turned off to any idea of a relationship because of fear.  Before him I was too tied up in a guy friend that used me to find any sort of relationship, and before that I had a bad boyfriend, and before that I had a good one who broke up with me. Literally my first, very pathetic, but first relationship was the only good and functional relationship I have been in. Anyway, that’s not the point, but because of my bad experiences I was always afraid of opening myself up to new people and letting other people in again. It’s really scary to do, for me it’s even scarier knowing that people out there who are basically strangers to me now, know so much about my life.

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However, I’m to the point now where I realize I’m getting older, heck I’m turning 20 this year, which is crazy, I remember turning ten and thinking twenty was so far away, now it’s going to be here in seven months.  This makes me think about what exactly I’ll be doing twenty years from now, I can’t even imagine turning 40, but someday I will, and it makes me wonder what my life will be like. When my mom turned 40 her and my dad went on a cruise just the two of them, I was starting my sophomore year, Sarah was going into middle school, and Julia was going into the fourth grade. To me that’s so weird that in double my age I could have kids in three different schools. To also think that I could have kids at all is crazy. I’m pretty independent and self-sufficient, however I don’t know if I could be taking care of a child anytime soon, let alone be thinking about starting a family. But I also don’t want to be alone twenty years from now, I think I might want to have a family. It’s weird that the next relationship I get in could be the last, but then again that’s a possibility with any relationship. Sometimes I think I want the fairy tale, the happily ever after, but the I think, really? Spending the next 40 so years with someone, that’s insane! I don’t know if I can do it. This whole someday thing is scary no matter how you look at it, in terms of personal life, career, everything. I think you go into college thinking that it’ll all just come to you, that every doubt you ever had will be at ease. That’s not what it’s like at all, it just gets worse. For example, today I’m saying that I could see myself with a family in ten years, however, tomorrow I could say I never want kids, I want to be alone my whole life. Someday I’ll figure it out I guess.

So sorry this isn’t a post about school, and sorry it’s really late, I was getting really good at putting them up earlier. Has anyone else thought about this? Well and I guess some of my readers are older too, so to my older readers, when did you figure it out? When did you know if you wanted a family? When did you know what career path you wanted?  I’m curious because my life is the definition of lost right now. Include your responses in the comments please! Thanks for reading!

XOXO

Mary.

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Planning My Next Adventure(s)

Let me just fast forward through February and March and into April so that I can get to my adventures. The first weekend in April I’m making the journey to  Boston to visit my friend Lindsay and I can’t wait. I got a really cheap overnight bus ticket so I’m looking forward to that. So I’ll be spending the weekend with her and doing stuff in Boston. She named a few places that we’re going to go to but I don’t really remember. I’m just excited because I love cities in the north, they’re so pretty, they could give cities on the west coast a run for their money- however, I’m still a fan of San Francisco and Seattle more so. It will totally be worth the long ride, hopefully it’s not too crowded and it won’t affect my anxiety, and most importantly, hopefully I can sleep. I also would like to do some vlogging on this trip so hopefully Lindsay won’t mind and I can get some good footage. I will sure to take a lot of pictures and do a proper blog post on traveling again because I have for sure been lacking on adventures and I hate that.

So what else is bringing you ask? Well I am going to New York for Model UN, and I’m a pretty excited for that as well. It is for a grade, and basically all work as well, but we do have one night off to go out, which I will love. I’m not super good friends with anyone that’s going which makes it a little bit more difficult, but I think I’ll have fun either way. I really want to Central Park and spend a good amount of time there, maybe work on some of my writing, I mean I do write stuff other than blogs. Or would that be too super cliche college hipster girl for me? I’m not a hipster you know. So hopefully I can get some cool city pictures too and stop stealing a lot of the ones I use off of Tumblr. Anyway, I can’t wait to finally share some adventures with you guys again! This is getting boring up in here! We need some change guys! So more of that to come in tomorrows update- beware it shall be a long one.

XOXO

Mary

I’m Craving Adventure

I live by this quote.
I live by this quote.

It has been seven months since I’ve had a good adventure, and that was a trip to the beach. I’m hungry for an adventure. To be honest, I’m not good at this whole doing school work thing. I don’t like it. I’m not a paperwork kind of person. Sure I like sitting around the house as much as the next girl, but I’m getting really tired of it. I started this blog with the idea that maybe soon I’d be posting weekend adventure to downtown, D.C, and Baltimore, but no one wants to do that sort of thing. I’m getting so tired of doing nothing all the time.

This just leads me to thinking about the future. What if I get a real job this summer? I can’t take time off to go away somewhere random for a week. I need the money and taking a week off is expensive. Also what it comes down to is where do I go? The beach with my friends or whatever my family is doing? There is no way I can afford to do both. Then I start thinking, well what about what I want to do? I could get a job in another state maybe, but then there’s the problem of housing, which is another expense and the money is better saved than spent. I go through all of these things in my head and what it comes down to is what is the best for me? I mean I’m to the point now where my parents can ask me to do one thing or another, or advise me, however they aren’t going to tell me what to do about things like vacations (at least I don’t think so). I even consider sometimes just going on an adventure alone because that sort of thing can be just as fun.

Then I think to the future that’s even further down the line, how in the world am I going to have a steady job if I can’t even go half of a year of school without an adventure? People don’t live life like that. I can’t spend my life in a nomadic fashion like I would like to.  I like to write stories about women that I want to be like, but they could never be more than a dream persona. A successful person doesn’t pick up odd jobs in random cities, well not enough to live off of, to be successful you have to have a steady job with a steady income. To someone like me this is super stressful and I don’t know what to do anymore. Am I going to live the rest of my life just lusting for an adventure? That’s what it’s starting to feel like. I want to be the type of person who gets on sites like kayak, and travelocity and find last minute travel deals and explore a new city on random weekend. I would love to be that person that goes on the megabus site and buys tickets for $2.50 months in advance to the point where I’m in a new city every weekend. Yet that’s no way to live a life, so I can’t really chase my dream because it’s impractical. It makes me sad to look forward in time and see that I might not be happy with the way I’m living it because I can’t live up to my dream.

And this is what I get for wanting one adventure. I can’t wait to go to Boston and New York in April, because that is exactly what need right about now. Who knows, maybe I’ll be on one sooner than that, the wander lust always seems to get the better of me.

If anyone has advice for someone like me, please let me know! It would mean the world to me if someone could give a little sliver of advice. Thanks for reading!

XOXO

Mary

Answer

February 3: The three primary colors and the achromatic colors.

Question

February 4: What baseball legend holds the record for the highest on-base percentage in major league history?

Dreaming of the Future

Blah I know it’s Monday and I told you guys that I would blog about my schedule but I don’t want to so it’s not happening. Today I wanted to blog about my decision to not transfer (as of now I will stay at the college I am already attending for four years). Well that was a quick post.

Just kidding! I just wanted to let you guys know about that, but I also wanted to just share for you my dream for the future  or what I want I guess. I feel like this post is also going to be super rambley and not focused at all, but if you’ve learned anything from me by the past (nearly) hundred posts (yes it’s been established I don’t have a life), that’s how my mind is and I can’t help it. Well, anyway *dun dun dun duhhh* (let’s pretend that sounded like Beethoven’s Nineth Syphony, okay?), THE FUTURE!

I may not know where this is yet, but as soon as I'm there I'll know.
I may not know where this is yet, but as soon as I’m there I’ll know.

Okay so I don’t know if I’ve ever expressed this with you guys or not, but my dream is to help people, blog, and live with my friends. Now my mom and dad are probably reading this thinking “Why is she going to such an expensive school then? She needs to make money when she graduates to make it worth it.” Well mom and dad, I don’t know what to tell you because I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’m constantly battling what majors and minors I want to have, because I’m so indecisive there will be no way I’m only going to have one. Anyway, I’m super lost at college and for any of you in college I hope that I’m not the only that feels that way.

So anywho I’m definitely not going on any sort of track today, this is far more scatterbrained that any of my other posts in a long time I feel like, sorry everyone. Anyway basically I’m writing this post saying I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, and even though that’s scary, I can’t wait to find out where I’m going to go. My friends and I talk about it a lot, we really want to move in together after we graduate and everything, which could mean for me living anywhere in the country. Katie wants to live in California, which I wouldn’t mind at all, and Lindsay believes she’s going to end up in Boston, another place I wouldn’t mind, except winter. However, I do plan on graduating a semester early, which would be before both of them, and then I’m not exactly sure what I would do, maybe go to India or something. Right now I just kind of want to see what I can find to like “work from home” and the world could be my home. I wouldn’t have to be a permanent resident of anywhere and I like the idea of that.  I wish I was really really good at something so I would just know, I feel like that’s how it works for a lot of people, however I am mediocre at many things which doesn’t really help.

What I’m trying to say is I’m figuring it all out and that I think that it’s probably okay. Now just because I said it’ll work out, doesn’t mean I won’t have to try, I mean obviously I have to search for jobs that are strictly from home and that I can travel with, and how things like taxes would work for a job like that. I also have other things to do before all of that but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot recently, and even the idea of taking more aptitude test, which are hard to find, has been on my mind. I don’t really know what I’m doing so this is really just all an adventure. I really hope I stumble upon some opportunities or situations where one thing leads to another, but if that doesn’t happen I’m confident I’m going to figure it out. I promise that I’m going to make something out of my life, doing good, and doing something I like.

Okay so that’s that I guess, a very odd, rambley post for this Monday night.  Also I still need to re-find my calendar and if I don’t have trivia again by tomorrow I’ll do something crazy (I don’t know what, but I will). Okay so thanks again for reading pals!

XOXO

Mary

 

Fate is an Odd Thing.

Well guys it’s Saturday and yet again I’m not writing about an adventure, sorry pals. I also have written several posts for today, however I didn’t like any of them enough so I thought I would write about this little thing called fate.

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There are a lot of things in life that we like to call coincidences and we like to say things like “it’s such a small world!” but then there are other things, stronger things, that we call fate. I never really believed in fate, until one day my Nonni told me the story about how my parents were probably destined for each other. Now that’s a really long story and I’ll maybe share it with you some day but I want to talk more about fate in general. This week I think I had an encounter with fate, and I’m not going to go into that either but that’s how this relates to now.

I think fate is this crazy thing that God likes to put in our lives to laugh at us, I also believe that He has a very strong sense of humor and that’s why He does it. Fate is one of those things where you can go your whole life living what seems like a parallel life to someone you know, going across two lines that never seem like they will touch, but when you look closer as time goes on they get closer and closer and eventually they are going to touch. Now once the two lines do finally meet I think one of two things can happen, they can merge together and become intertwined never leaving one another, which is usually the ideal path of things. However, I also think that the paths can cross and maybe intertwine but then they leave forever, but that person leaves a lasting imprint on your life forever. I believe that fate is the best thing that can happen to a person, however, you have to accept and embrace it. You can’t run away from fate, it’s one of those things that are always going to affect your life and change who you are. I think you should trust in fate and don’t be afraid of it. I think before now I have spent way too much time running away from things like fate because they’re scary, but now I’ve decided to embrace it, it’s much more tiring hiding from things like fate.  So yeah I’m gonna run with the whole fate thing this time and I’ll see where it goes.

Trivia will be back tomorrow!

XOXO

Mary

 

Prompted- Thank you WordPress

What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

This evening I was unsure what to write about, so I hit the “inspire me” button and I’m like well it should at least get the ball rolling, and then this prompt came up and I was just like YES!  This is actually something I’ve been wanting to share and I have touched on in several of my posts, but I guess it’s time to go in depth on this.
During one of the last weeks of the summer before eleventh grade I received a rather official looking envelope in the mail.  I opened it to see that it was an invitation to go on a People to People trip to Europe, and upon seeing the countries that the trip would visit I became desperate to go, and I was determined to do whatever it took to go on this trip.  I forced my parents to go to the information meeting and even though it was more expensive than what they had budgeted they decided that it was an opportunity that I would never be able to get somewhere else so as long as could put up a little less than half the money I would be allowed to go.  After ten months of meetings, on June 24, 2012 my life changed for the better.

I said goodbye to my family, and got on a bus not knowing a soul.  I sat down and a girl sat down with me, we would talk but not become good friends.  We arrived at the Philadelphia airport went through all of the checking and security (boring stuff) and arrived at the gate. As we boarded the plane I sat down with two girls (who also aren’t important) and I slept for a little bit and we arrived in the London-Heathrow airport.  This is where my life began to change. We got on a plane to go to Shannon, Ireland, and I sat down next to this girl.  Now if you guys read my best friend tag, you will know that this is LINDSAY!!! We were introduced by her having cheese all over her headphones.  She is now one of my best friends. We landed in Shannon and Lindsay and I wouldn’t talk for a couple of days until we were in the same jaunty car and we wouldn’t become friends until we randomly decided to be in the same group at Warwick Castle in England.  Going back in time a little bit to the ferry ride from Ireland to Wales, I met my friend Katie.  Our friendship blossomed that evening when we were in her dorm reading talking about a story that an unnamed weird kid from my school had written.  I explained to her that he is super creepy and has a foot fetish. We began to hang out and slowly Lindsay’s path converged with Katie’s and we became inseparable.  To be honest this trip changed my life and it probably would be completely different without them.  I highly advise anyone to take this opportunity if they are ever given the chance because it is literally the greatest thing I have ever done.

If I hadn’t done this I would’ve never met the greatest friends in the world.  They are the best things to ever happen to me and meeting them was the greatest thing ever.  Like I don’t know what I would do without them. I really don’t know what else to say about them because they will forever be in my heart, even though we’re all in different states right now.  Like I would do anything for them, they are the most important people in my life in addition to my family.  So thank you WordPress for giving me the inspiration to finally write this little detail of my life.  They mean so much to me and without that experience my life would be totally different.

So here’s a good post (finally).  Thanks for reading!

XOXO

Mary

Awkward Icebreakers, People I Avoid, and Roommates (so much to handle!)

So first things first, sorry about the double post yesterday, I realized that I was posting in the wrong blog so people couldn’t read as easily so now everything is on the right blog and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Moving on- awkward icebreakers. Now everyone has been playing these icebreakers since elementary (primary) school. We start with the stupid ones to try to learn names, circles upon circles of where are you from? what is your major of intent? and lastly what is your name? and this just gets to the point where I’m like ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I’m tired of these games and questions lets just move on, but no. Today was only day two of my orientation process and we have already played so many games! I can’t handle it. Tonight we have real bingo rather than the fake shit with people that we played last night, so hopefully that will better than these dumb icebreakers.

Now for the people at least I try to avoid  are the ones who are super annoying. Like I hate those people who never shut up, they think everything they have to say is important and it’s not! Like nobody even cares! A girl in my group today said, Normal girl: “Oh yeah well me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years now.” Annoying a girl: “Oh. My boyfriend broke up with me after two months, I couldn’t believe it!” Like what the hell, that’s probably why he broke up with you, you’re so freaking irrelevant!  I also try to avoid the people who think they’re really smart, because usually they’re not and they just try to have competitions to see if they can beat you and I’m just like no. There are so many people I try to avoid, another group is the girls who try to flirt with every cute guy and they aren’t even pretty! Now go ahead and say your comments about how everyone is beautiful, but honestly, these girls would be pretty if they knew how to dress appropriately for their bodies. Like try and take care of yourself and then maybe boys will pay attention to you.

So my final topic is roommates. Now this one is fairly important because you will be spending a whole year with this person so you need to at least get along a little bit. My plan for my roommate is to get along, if there’s a problem I’ll address it. I’m going into this assuming we aren’t going to be best friends and that we will probably not room together next year.  I figure all we have to do is make it through the year and it’ll be good. If anyone has any roommate problems let me know and I’ll see if I can lend you any helpful advice!

Until tomorrow (hopefully) my lovely readers. Comment with any of  you icebreaker hatreds, the people you try to avoid, as well as any roommate situations! I love hearing about other people’s experiences so spread the word!

XOXO

Mary

Moving In: Dorm Life and Orientation (just the beginning)

So the goodbyes are done and you are beyond ready to move in, bags and bins and practically you’re life is packed away into a car or two and it’s time to go. On the way there you feel nervous, excited, and even a little bit anxious. Then you arrive and all of that is gone, you just have the panicking of unpacking and trying to get you’re whole life into a tiny room that you are most likely sharing with a complete stranger!

This was at least my emotions as I moved in today. I walked into the room and unexpectedly found my roommate who had told me that she wasn’t going to be there until later so that took me back a little bit. Then as piles and piles of my own belonging came through the door I began to feel panicky again, which slowly began to fade as I unpacked and felt a TON better.

So as the room was finished and after I went out to lunch with my parents orientation begin. If you ask me starting orientation and having it go until 9:30 on move-in day it is pretty cruel. Well after a long day of awkward small talk and exchanging numbers with very few people and avoiding all the party people I am beyond ready for bed.

For those of you just moving into college as well, please share your experiences! I love to hear other people’s adventures too! Tomorrow I’ll try to do more on those awkward ice breakers, the people I’m trying to avoid, and my plan to (hopefully) get along with my roommate.

XOXO

Mary