Relationships and the Internet

I am an oversharer, I don’t have a problem admitting that. However, that is not always in my best interest. At some point in February I started seeing someone, then in March when it became official, I had no problem telling pretty much everyone, including my blog. The internet, however, now has made that relationship forever.

I never made it Facebook official (because if people want to know my business read my blog), but I did say that I was going to write about it here. I never did, because I ended things before that could have happened. So it has brought me to the question of when is the right time to put your relationship online?

The thing about the internet, and it’s the thing everyone’s parents, teachers, and professors say: “It’s there forever” so when you want to forget about a relationship it’s still there. You can delete all the pictures, the Facebook posts and whatever else you posted online, but it doesn’t change that people still saw it. People will ask you what happened, and you will have to face the questions.

I’d like to think that there’s this magic number. For me, it’s really whatever I feel like, after I tell everyone I care about first. However, I totally see the benefits of waiting a few months. Sometimes I feel like the longer you wait or the more online the relationship is it can be harder when it ends.  I can’t imagine ending a year long relationship and having to delete all of that off the internet, or facing those memories after that.

I think it also comes down to how much you put on the internet too. For example, I had one picture and a line in a blog post. I think he might have posted on my Facebook wall once or twice, but our relationship was not really that public.  I think the ending would’ve been different if we had a million pictures on Instagram and Facebook or something like that. The internet encapsulates every aspect of a relationship that you’re willing to share about it and then when it’s over you have to deal with that aftermath.

In the future, I honestly think I wouldn’t change anything about it. I think that if a relationship lasts more than three months, I’ll probably put it on Facebook. However, it’s really not all up to me because I’m not that kind of person. I’m just an open book, a few pictures here and there, a sentence in a blog post and an introduction after a while. I don’t think that I’ll say I have plans to introduce him because who know if that’ll happen.

The internet has this weird way of preserving everything that happens in life which is not only great but kind of scary/annoying sometimes. It’s also a personal thing that everyone can decide to share or not share in the world.

What’s the magic number? When do you put your relationship on the internet?

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B.G’s Guest Post: Online Friends

Currently I am galavanting (kind of) through Europe. Currently in the UK and probably enjoying the Lush on Oxford St far too much. Today B from Getting Through Anxiety, a good internet friend of mine, wrote a guest post for me! Enjoy her post on online friends and share it with your online friends!

Hey guys! This is B.G. from gettingthroughanxiety.wordpress.com. Since Mary won’t be able to  post from November 7th-15th, she asked if I would write a post for her, and I was more than happy to do so.  So, I’ve decided to write about (drumroll please…) online friends!

When I first started blogging, I honestly didn’t expect much of a turnout. Don’t get me wrong, I think I thought I would learn from the experience, but I didn’t really expect many people to read it, let alone “follow” it. For one thing I didn’t think that many people would be interested in reading about anxiety and for another, I just didn’t know how many people would discover my blog in the first place.

However, I slowly saw people commenting on my blog and to the say the least, I was both surprised and excited. Still, I didn’t think I would get many more readers, let alone meet some of the amazing people that I have.

I’ve always been (and still am), very cautious about how much information I share on the internet and who I share it with. I think while the internet is a great tool for communication, it tends to be misused and people tend to forget about the importance of privacy. With that aside, however, I’ve also come to discover that there are so many amazing people in the world and without the internet, I would have never met them.

Take Mary, for instance. She was one of the first people to stop by my blog and comment. It’s been over a year now and I still talk to her and here I am, guest blogging for her! Now, I’m still cautious about how much information I give away, but I’ve learned that it is possible to make great friends with people online, even if there’s the chance you’ll never meet them in person.

Through blogging, I’ve learned that there are so many people who experience similar issues that I do. Also, not only have I found a place where I can talk about my anxiety, but I’ve also found individuals that I can talk to about simple, fun things with like TV shows that I like and thought I never would or a mutual love for poetry and animals.

Something that I’ve learned is that if you do it right, friendships that you make online can be just as wonderful as the ones you forge in real life. Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to be able to meet some of my blogger friends, but due to safety reasons, I don’t feel that’s always the best option. I have, however, met some wonderful people online and hold them very close to my heart.

The point is, that whether you forge a friendship through means of technology or through a one on one encounter with the individual, these friendships are still important and should be held in the highest regard. I’m so happy to have met so many of the people I have through writing my blog and that we’re able to share our experiences with one another.

So…I hope you’ve all enjoyed this post and stay tuned for Mary’s return! :)

 

Hiding Behind a Keyboard

kindness

 

There’s so much hate in the world. Like we can be happy, but the world is not happy. Our environment is dying, we are killing our neighbors, kids can’t eat, and people are having a hard time getting an education, it’s sad, so why are we so mean to each other?

People are mean, I know I can be mean. What I don’t understand- and what really gets to me is cyber bullying and hiding behind a keyboard. It seems like people forget what they say online doesn’t have an affect on the people who are on the receiving end of it. I feel like people think that their words venture into cyberspace and have no repercussions, but they do.

Remember when we were kids and our moms would say “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” that goes for more than just what comes out of our mouths but also out of keyboards. People are much more bold when what they want to say is coming out of their keyboards rather than when it comes out of their mouth. I think we need a new saying, if you wouldn’t say it outloud, should you be sharing it over technology?

Things online are shared at the speed of light. If you say something and it gets shared you can lose a lot. Employers look up what you say online, what are they going to think if all you do is bash people and make fun of people? They aren’t going to want to hire someone that’s mean, it wouldn’t be good for company morale and it doesn’t matter if you would never say anything in person it does no good to do it online either.

There are so many opportunities to be kind and caring online. There are so many chances to be the voice of kindness rather than the voice of harshness and cruelty. I don’t understand why so many people use the internet to spread hate. Everyone has the opportunity to send love and kindness to people throughout the whole world so why not do that? Positive messages can get you so much further and help so many more people

Don’t be negative and mean. Don’t comment nasty things on videos or pictures or articles just because there’s a lot of traction- the mean is what stands out the most and you don’t want to be remembered for being mean or be that person that makes someone’s life harder and hurt them. Be the voice of kindness and love.

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