So I’ve been 22…

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Okay so I didn’t write last year (2016) around my birthday, why? Because I wasn’t writing. Am I getting better now? A little bit but not really. So, in order to try and be a better blogger I’m going to write about 22 so far.

Here’s the thing: I’m feeling it, I’m feeling 22. It’s my Taylor Swift year, and that’s the best way to look at it as a positive thing in my opinion. I have not been taking aging in my twenties thus far very gracefully, each year is met with extreme expectations that are never quite met with the enthusiasm that I picture to be. So, by making this my Taylor Swift year I’m attempting to live my life like the “22” song that everyone seems to be quoting on their Instagrams this fateful year. As well as a host of all the Taylor Swift songs that I’ve ever aspired to see myself in.

Now, I’m the first of my friends for the most who turned 22 back in September, so that’s always been like an existential thing for me, it just makes me feel older than I am. However, I would say this was definitely the best celebration yet for 22 and I had started off my year on quite the kick. By that I mean I got pretty drunk with some of my best friends. I think that set a precedent for 22. Yes, I’m drinking more than I ever have (once a week, chill out, nothing too crazy) but it’s okay. This is my last year as  a pre-adult so I’m doing whatever I want for one more year and I think that’s really okay.

22 so far has been a time for self-actualization and self-love. I’ve been letting myself really do what I want, I mean I’m sure the Zoloft helps with that, but I’m finally doing things that I’ve always wanted to but stopped myself from doing. While I’m still often referred to as mom, I’m doing less-momish things and putting myself first sometimes. Not all the time, I do still have a problem saying no, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’ve also gotten a lot better at trying to make my life work for me, and at the end of the day what’s going to make me happy.

22 so far has been a time for friendships and lack of toxic relationships. The week after my birthday I started cutting out people who were toxic to me because that isn’t something I need to deal with. So I’ve worked on friendships with people who equalize their relationship with me, if that makes sense. Yes friendships are a two-way street, and sometimes they require more give than take, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time. So I found new friends, grew old friendships, formed new ones, and left the bad ones. There are too many good people in this world to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

22 so far has been a time for thoughts surrounding my future, as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing for the past four years of college. However, now it’s different. It’s more real. I’m applying for jobs, seeing what is best for me and my future. I have to think about things like benefits and the cost of living in cities where I apply to jobs compared to the salary. It’s a lot to think about.

So far, I think 22 has been good to me, maybe I’ll update you when I turn 23 about how the rest of the year goes. For now, I’m feelin’ 22.

Are you 22? Did you learn something new about yourself when you were?

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Positivity 2.0.

This semester has been lacking positivity from me, or at least in my opinion. I mean, as my nickname is Debbie Downer in more than one group of friends, I still want to maintain a positive energy about myself.

Recently, I’ve felt that my blog especially has not been very positive. It’s just a lot of me asking questions, not being sure, or even disappointed. I just feel like I can do better. So today, I’m here to spread positivity. I’ve been thinking of ways to do this, and I figured the best ways would be to make a list of the positive things in life and positive quotes, so I’m just going to do that.

  • It rained today and didn’t snow, which might mean that winter is almost over.
  • IHOP has the double dipped french toast back, this time with peanut butter *insert heart eye emoji here*
  • If you’re reading this you have access to internet which is pretty great
  • You’ve made it half way through the week!
  • People care about you
  • Chocolate is a thing and it’s amazing.
  • You can basically do whatever you want, sometimes the only thing stopping you is you. That’s a kind of a stupid idea because a lot of the time it isn’t true, but at the same time it’s kind of true. The world is kind of your oyster.
  • It’s almost mid way through the semester.

What are you going to do today to be positive? I hope everyone has a great day.

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“Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

I accidently took a break that lasted far too long… Again. This week got busy and I got tired and other things got prioritized so my apologies for the lack in posts. It was one of those things that just happened- I realized it and didn’t stop it which is something I should have done. I don’t know this is unfortunately something that happens when I stop pushing myself so I need to start doing that again.

Something I really believe is that you can help to create the life you want. I mean I don’t think anyone has complete control over everything that happens to them but you can control how  you handle things. I strive to be a more positive person so if I continue to act positive I will grow more and more positive even if right now I’m not actually positive if I pretend to be the mindset that I am will grow until I really am a positive person.

This applies to things like “dress for the job you want,  not the job you have” this is a much more literal sense of what I mean. Like I don’t think this means if you want to be an olympic skater you should wear those costume to your job at Burger King, you’ll probably get fired, but if you want to be a CEO and you work in a cubicle, dress like a CEO. If you believe it then you can do it.

A lot of life depends on what you put into it. Your thoughts help to create who you are. If you stand in the mirror and tell yourself how ugly you are, your mind is going to believe you no matter how beautiful you are. If you can stand in the mirror everyday and add one good thing about yourself and how you look, you’ll slowly become more comfortable with how you look. Rather than believing you’re ugly you will start to believe that you’re pretty. Find the good in yourself rather than the bad.

So much of someone’s perception of themselves is based on what their minds create. Yes, this is also based off of what other people say about them and I do know there’s psychological things that prevent this from happening too, but control as much as you can. Try to build up your self image enough so that it’s harder for people to tear it down. Once you start you to create a positive image of yourself and a positive mindset you can develop it. Or if you want it to be negative you can do it that way. You can help to create what you want in life for a good part of that. Well maybe not- it’s starting to work for me, so maybe I’m weird or maybe it’s really all in what you think. Try to promote what you want to see in your life and maybe you’ll start to see it.

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Put Out Positivity.

I’ve recently been very enthralled by the idea that what you put out into the world returns to you. I read or watched this somewhere and I wish I could remember where I did but the concept was that you receive what you put out into the world and ever since I heard that idea I cannot stop thinking about it. This means you have to be careful what you put out because that’s what’s going to come back to you.

So if you really want something you have to put it out into the universe. Which is really amazing if you think about it, but think about the positive power this can impact on a broader scale. If everyone could put out good thoughts and ideas into the world, it would be a much better place.

Due to this concept I’ve made the active decision to not be so negative towards people I don’t like. It takes so much energy to hold a grudge and be angry or wish badly towards people. Just hope that everyone fulfils their life in a way that they want to do so. There’s no point in wishing badly on others, so I’m trying to stop. I’m trying to just let the people who hurt me be, trying my best to forget about them because at this point their life and mine have already intersected and we are moving on. Why should I bother keeping track of their lives and where they are? For the sake of my energy and being positive, I hope they’re doing well. I’m adding a goal to my overarching goal list and that’s to not wish badly on anyone.

Negative energy only contributes to the ever so negative world. The world is a terrible place and there as people we should make an active effort to make it less terrible and that could be as simple as just being slightly more positive. I’m not saying that you have to be all sunshine and roses and rainbows, but just putting forward the effort to be slightly more so than the typical day.

Put out what you want in return in the world so make that good. I mean I guess if you want a shitty life put out shitty thoughts. I don’t know just do what’s best for you and put out in the world what you want, you have more control over your life and the emotional environment you live in than you might think. From someone who is typically very cynical and pessimistic this is hard to, I know but still it’s important to try and be positive. You don’t have to be an optimist because let’s face it, the world isn’t a great place, but you can make it a more positive one.

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The Wrong Attitude.

My goal this week was to be more positive and friendly. I think I’m doing okay on the friendly part, not so much the positive part. I’m still super angry about Sam Pepper and then his par 3/3 part today which was super annoying so I made a video about it, which you can click on here. I’m also very anxious and there’s just a lot going on my head and I think it’s preventing me from being positive.

There’s a lot going around me and it’s bringing me down, however I’m not in a position where I can just cut this all out of my life. I want to be more positive, yet when I have panic attacks in the middle of the night, how can I be? It’s frustrating and annoying to me. I have the wrong attitude.

I need to strive to be more positive, no matter what the situation is because I need to learn that I can’t control the world and people around me. I have to take care of myself and make myself happy. I need to strive to surround myself with a positive vibe and spread that rather than negativity. I need to force myself to find the happiness in things because life doesn’t actually suck.

If I would change my attitude and be more positive I hope that that can change someone else’s attitude too. I want to challenge myself to be more of a positive influence on the lives around me, as well as on myself. I also want to challenge myself to be a better blogger because right now, pardon my language, but this blog is a piece of shit and that needs to change. Working on it, promise.

Leave me your favorite quotes for positivity in the comments and feel free to check out my video response/reaction to Sam Pepper after the new developments today. Don’t forget to smile!

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A Missed Opportunity.

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If you’re anything like me you might be afraid of missing an opportunity, any opportunity, every opportunity, just because of one decision you make. I’m always wondering what would my life be like if I would have done something differently.

I’ve been watching a lot of short films lately, it’s my new thing. In a lot of the romantic films someone missed a chance, but a lot of other took a chance. I think we need to do more of that, take more chances. If we took more chances we wouldn’t have so many regrets and I think that’s really important. Does anyone actually like to have regrets? Of course not, can we help it? Only sometimes. We shouldn’t be afraid to take a risk or two.

We focus on what can go wrong, not on anything that can go right. We mess up once and it prevents us from taking chances. You fight with a friend so you make less friends. You get annoyed and every person annoys you that day, you take it out on someone and then have the potential to lose that person. We let the negativity get to us and focus on all things bad, I know we do because I do it too.

If we were more positive and took more risks I think we would be a happier people. We would look at each other and see the good instead of seeing the time that a person hurt us, yet we live in this place where everyone has trust issues. You can’t trust a friend because they lied. You can’t buy something off of eBay because someone scammed you out $20. You can’t walk down the street without a can of pepper spray because of what you see on the news. We lived in a messed up world where risks hurt us so we don’t take them. Where once something bad happens we can never do it again. We are so afraid of risks and trusting people because someone screwed us over. That’s not fair.

Starting today, I’m going to take more chances, trust more people, and make the change to be a happier person. Why do we like to sit in our own sorrow and misery? Maybe it’s comforting, maybe it’s familiar and we think everyone does it. I’m stopping, making a change to be positive. I’m going to live for the now and to be happier and bring happiness to other people.

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Positivity.

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Naturally people view me as pessimistic type of person  however, I like to see myself as a realist and because of that I see the bad as well as the good. I know it’s not good to think about bad things but I think it’s part of life. I really admire my friend Alex who is such a positive person and being around her just makes me happier in general. She’s just one of those people that you can’t help but smile when you’re around. This actually leads me to my first point of positivity, people. If you surround yourself with positive people you are more likely to be a positive person. I notice that when I am around my people who make me laugh and spread a positive energy I am a lot happier. I think this is so important, you shouldn’t be around people that make you feel miserable or put you down or just try and put their burdens on you aren’t the people you should be hanging out with. Also, don’t be that negative person that takes the cloud of gloom with you everywhere you go, taking down every person you greet. It might take a lot to make someone smile, but it doesn’t take much to tear it all down.

Another point I’d like to make about positivity is that it’s a choice. Again I’ll tell you about my friend Alex. One day we were having a conversation and I said “How are you supposed to be positive if you find out that you have cancer?” just as an example, she responded something along the lines of  “But you can still stay positive and fight it.” That made me think very hard, she always makes me do that, but really positivity can change the outcome of terrible things. If you stay positive even when it’s really hard, better things will happen to you, I can almost guarantee it. No matter how bad something is, positivity will make it at least a little bit better. I would like to thank Alex for this lesson.

My final point of this post is to help spread positivity. I want people to stop thinking about me as a pessimist and maybe more of a realist, I think it would be a bit of a stretch to try and change my image to an optimist. Instead of saying about how bad your day think about how good it is. In the comments today I would like you to say one great thing that happened today and I’ll reply with a great thing that happened to me and why I’m glad that good thing happened to you! I really want to try and spread positivity. Also when you sign your name use a positive adjective to describe yourself that starts with the same letter as your name, like for example I could be Merry Mary. One last thing, if you get this far and you have twitter go tweet my friend Alex who basically inspired this post her username is @alexk710 and tell her that she’s the best. She is.

Go be happy my friends!

XOXO,

Mary.