Note to Self:

Yes you did brush your teeth this morning so stop worrying about it already!

Recently I’ve been facing a problem where if I do not write every single thing I need to do down, it’s not going to be remembered and therefore is unlikely to actually occur. I thought a little “note to self” might be of use today.

You’re going to write those articles, answer those emails, and do your homework, it’s on the to-do list and will get done, it’s a guarantee. What you need to remember is to put yourself first. Everyone around you has opinions, and they are great. The people around you are great, but sometimes, your thoughts matter more.

What do you want to do today? Do you want to cook dinner? Go to the store? Go to class? Do what you need to do, then pick and choose.

A note to self- worry about you and what you can control. There’s so much that falls outside of your realm of control, try not to worry about it.

Self-care is sometimes the most important thing you can do for yourself so don’t skip it, just embrace it.

Tackle your to-do list and write notes to yourself until you get everything done.

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Personal Identity

always-be-a-first-rate-version-of-yourself-instead-of-a-second-rate-version-of-somebody-else

(Source)

There’s a big difference between keeping up with trends and trying to be like someone, and then again there’s a difference between trying to be like someone and trying to be them.  A lot of people like to keep up with trends, I kind of try sometimes, I mean I like what I like, and if it happens to be a trend of the moment even better. However, some people like to be like others in fashion. So if Hilary Duff is wearing purple sun glasses they’re going to wear purple sunglasses. That’s not a bad thing either, however I think it starts to cross boundaries when you start to want to be that person. Instead of wanting a fashion sense like their, you start talking like them too, picking up phrases and words that are really specific to them as a person, more than just because you hang out with them a lot. For example if I was obsessed with Miley Cyrus I might start singing Wrecking Ball all the time, because that’s what Miley Cyrus does (bad example, I know).

I think a personal identity is really important. If you base your personality, style, speech habits, basically most of the individualistic parts about you, you are no longer going to be an individual you are going to a second rate version of someone else. Why would you want that? Every person has a unique voice, thoughts, beliefs, looks, personality, etc. why would you want to jeopardize that to be like someone else? I see this a lot in what Lindsay calls the high school mentality (post on that coming soon) when being an individual is frowned upon. Take this from me, a person who has been an individual for as long as I can remember, it’s not a bad thing. Maybe I’m lucky and a lot of people thought I was being ironic when in actuality I was just being myself. However, after minor bullying that I handled well, not that anyone should ever be bullied for being themselves, I figured out that as long as I was happy with who I was that was okay with me and it didn’t matter what the “popular” boys thought about me, they were dicks anyway! Let me tell you something, if you try so hard to fit in with that popular crowd in high school that’s what you’re going to do your whole life, try to fit in. It’s not worth it, not even a little bit.

A personal identity, a unique personality owned by yourself is key in life. If you go through life basing you life off of someone else’s where is that going to get you? Lost and confused. When it comes to dating no one will ever be able to get to know who you actually are, they’ll meet someone else’s half assed personality and then figure out that your fake. You can only trick people for so long.

You can only go so long trying to copy someone, trying to be something you’re not, so why not just embrace who you really are from the start? Of course there are sometimes where you have to put on different hats or masks to blend in for the moment but that’s not entirely losing our whole being in someone else.

Don’t be something or someone you aren’t. I don’t know how much energy and time it takes to put up a face everyday, but I’m sure it’s too much.

XOXO,

Mary.

What’s it Worth?

It’s not worth my time to put effort into something that just isn’t worth it. It’s not worth my time trying to talk to someone who’s going to ignore me. It’s not worth my time to get worked up about someone who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me. It’s not worth my time trying to get the attention of someone who couldn’t care less about me or support anything I do. That’s why you have to focus on who truly cares about you. Don’t waste your time on those who just use you.

It’s not worth putting you time into a friendship/relationship that all of your energy goes wasted in. However, I seem to get conflicted at the point of leaving someone behind. I know it’s not worth it to be in a friendship that consumes all of you to the point where you don’t know what to do when all you can think of is ways to try to make it work and none of them do. You can’t force someone to care about you. Cut them out. I don’t know why people try to make people care about them, it will never work.

I stick around longer than I should. I know I do. I stick around incase they need me, why do I do that.? They weren’t there for me when I needed them, so why should I do that? I do that because I care too much. I care more than I should about most detrimental people. My constant thought process when I need to cut someone out of my life is “what if they fall on their face” “what if they fail” “what if they  need me” and that’s a huge internal conflict for me. I think that God wants me to be there for the people He’s put in my life, but at what point do I know if His mission for me was already completed? What if the thing I was supposed to do for that person had already been done and now they’re just putting negativity that I really don’t need in my own life. I usually just stick around until it’s clear they don’t need me anymore. I think that happens a little bit too often.

In the end I don’t know what is and isn’t worth it. It’s true it’s not worth  all of those miserable things I named at the beginning, but what if you can then spend a whole day laughing and having fun worth the misery for a week? Where does the line get drawn?

XOXO,

Mary.