25 Days of Christmas: Day 1

Merry 25 Days of Christmas! I know it’s a day late, but December snuck up on me. That just means that one day will have two posts! (Not today).

Today, let’s get into the holiday spirit with my holiday playlist. It’s based on nostalgia and iconic songs from my childhood.

https://music.amazon.com/embed/83d02467583342b4906b8a1dc2efd9b8sune/?id=hY34KVFLCV&marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US

So these are the songs I would pick. Share yours with me- I’ll add them to the playlist! The ultimate collaborative holiday songs playlist!

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Trying to Date as 20-Something

Dating sucks and I hate it. I hate the start of relationships where you have to get to know someone and trying to figure out the way they think, how to understand them, and just all those little things. I can’t think of anything about dating that I like. I can’t even count the number of times in a week where I want to call my mom and ask her to just arrange my marriage.

I was recently ghosted. Or maybe that’s still an occurring thing. I don’t really know how long of a process that typically is, but all I know is that I’m pretty pissed about it. Like really, you’re in your twenties, I’m willing to have a conversation, so let’s talk about it. I find myself to be a reasonable person, and ghosting makes me totally unreasonable. So to the guy that’s ghosting/ghosted me, if you’re reading this, I’m a catch and because of your unwillingness to have a conversation with me, you’re missing out boy. Also mom and dad- I don’t want to talk about it. I would be lying if I said I’ve never ghosted anyone, I mean I tried. I was unsuccessful because I feel like shit leaving someone in the dark like that.

I know that I’m a relatively easy person to date (at least in my opinion). I don’t require fancy dates (my favorite places are IHOP and Target) or even that much attention, a text a day suffices for me. However, I never seem to be enough for the boys that  pay attention to me, or I require too much. Honestly, the last guy who was actually my boyfriend couldn’t do enough for me so I broke up with him. That sounds really shitty, but he complained if I asked to go on a walk around the park, not even if we could get a coffee.

So I don’t understand why I find dating so complicated. I sometimes feel as if I have convoluted ideas behind dating. I can be quoted of saying “Did I miss the day in school where everyone learned to talk to people they’re attracted to?” Other than my lack of flirtation skills, I can’t get a guy to notice me. Well, I can, just not the ones that I want to, and I don’t know why that is.

I feel like I’m starting to get a little side-tracked (naturally) in this post. Really, the thing is, there is not one good thing about dating in your twenties. Tinder sucks and it’s how to meet some really shitty people. I would be curious to know if anyone has actually had good, continued success on the app, because I would say I had brief and okay success but now I will never use it again.

I’m not one to blame things on social media because I love it more than most other things. However, it does make dating harder. It makes reading into someone’s personal life a lot easier and actually talking to someone a lot more difficult. Like, if I just start seeing someone I am not about to tweet some T-Swift lyrics because that’s unfortunately the kind of thing that freaks guys out whether or not it has anything to do with them. They might not even follow me on social media yet and I won’t tweet it just in case they decide to creep. Fortunately, I’m not the type to get mad if a guy likes another girl’s picture, or retweets something, but there are people that get into actual fights over such things. While, I may find that little bit out there, it’s a real problem. Social media might be hurting our dating lives.

On the other hand, social media has done this awesome thing that it usually does, which is bring people together. I am curious to know if that works for people. I know a girl who started dating someone on Instagram, like they had mutual friends (I think) and they hit it off through comments. To me, that’s kinda crazy and I don’t think that happens a lot, but maybe I’m wrong. My goal is that an attractive man will see how hilarious I am on Twitter and slide into my DMs, I doubt it will happen but a girl can dream.

At the end of the day, my thoughts behind dating is that it sucks and I want an arranged marriage. No, not really, but it does suck. They’re are too many ways for it to go downhill. For someone like me, that is a tough thing to grasp sometimes. Post-graduation I would really like to have a steady man in my life that likes me and treats me well. Preferably, he has aspirations of things and goals he will obtain. Obviously, I’ll keep you posted on any male suiters (only after they know about the blog and they stick around past the “dating” phase of things).

What do you think about dating as a twenty-something?

So I’ve been 22…

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Okay so I didn’t write last year (2016) around my birthday, why? Because I wasn’t writing. Am I getting better now? A little bit but not really. So, in order to try and be a better blogger I’m going to write about 22 so far.

Here’s the thing: I’m feeling it, I’m feeling 22. It’s my Taylor Swift year, and that’s the best way to look at it as a positive thing in my opinion. I have not been taking aging in my twenties thus far very gracefully, each year is met with extreme expectations that are never quite met with the enthusiasm that I picture to be. So, by making this my Taylor Swift year I’m attempting to live my life like the “22” song that everyone seems to be quoting on their Instagrams this fateful year. As well as a host of all the Taylor Swift songs that I’ve ever aspired to see myself in.

Now, I’m the first of my friends for the most who turned 22 back in September, so that’s always been like an existential thing for me, it just makes me feel older than I am. However, I would say this was definitely the best celebration yet for 22 and I had started off my year on quite the kick. By that I mean I got pretty drunk with some of my best friends. I think that set a precedent for 22. Yes, I’m drinking more than I ever have (once a week, chill out, nothing too crazy) but it’s okay. This is my last year as  a pre-adult so I’m doing whatever I want for one more year and I think that’s really okay.

22 so far has been a time for self-actualization and self-love. I’ve been letting myself really do what I want, I mean I’m sure the Zoloft helps with that, but I’m finally doing things that I’ve always wanted to but stopped myself from doing. While I’m still often referred to as mom, I’m doing less-momish things and putting myself first sometimes. Not all the time, I do still have a problem saying no, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’ve also gotten a lot better at trying to make my life work for me, and at the end of the day what’s going to make me happy.

22 so far has been a time for friendships and lack of toxic relationships. The week after my birthday I started cutting out people who were toxic to me because that isn’t something I need to deal with. So I’ve worked on friendships with people who equalize their relationship with me, if that makes sense. Yes friendships are a two-way street, and sometimes they require more give than take, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time. So I found new friends, grew old friendships, formed new ones, and left the bad ones. There are too many good people in this world to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

22 so far has been a time for thoughts surrounding my future, as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing for the past four years of college. However, now it’s different. It’s more real. I’m applying for jobs, seeing what is best for me and my future. I have to think about things like benefits and the cost of living in cities where I apply to jobs compared to the salary. It’s a lot to think about.

So far, I think 22 has been good to me, maybe I’ll update you when I turn 23 about how the rest of the year goes. For now, I’m feelin’ 22.

Are you 22? Did you learn something new about yourself when you were?

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This is the last time I’m asking you…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Can’t Drive 55.”

“Put my name at the top of your list…” This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, “The Last Time”. To me this songs speaks volumes. It means you can only ask so much out of someone. It means you can’t keep leaving and coming back and how fragile people around you are.

“This is the last time I’ve got it wrong” This is the last time, I’m going to make this mistake again. You can make the same mistakes so many time, trust me, I continuously repeat mistakes, but it’s crazy to think that you just keep going back to what’s going to break your heart.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye” We go back to people who break our hearts repeatedly. We trust people continuously. I think in our memories we forget what bad things people did, and have a tendency to remember only the good things, and we continue to let them into our lives even though they will only hurt us more and more.

“I’m not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here” When you care about someone everything goes back to them. We forget where we’re going and what we’re doing, we get so caught up in that person and how much we care that everything falls to the wayside.

“Put my name at the top of your list.” Once you start not meaning something to someone, don’t ask to be put at the top of their list anymore. Once you’re not there anymore you start caring more than them, investing more than them, and are in a position to be hurt a lot more by them. Which is why they “break my heart in the blink of an eye.

“You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave” Sorry’s can only go so far and only fix so much. Sometimes the apology becomes so miniscule that it begins to mean nothing instead.

This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs because there’s so much meaning and emotion in it. Gary Lightbody is also featured in the song, and their harmonies are amazing. When I hear this song I can feel it. It’s everything you want to say to the people who hurt you again and again, but there’s only so many times you can ask why, only so many times they can say sorry, only so many times you both can walk away.

“And all those times I let you in, just for you to go again.”

Now doesn’t that just break your heart. Happy Saturday prompt from the Daily Prompt! What was the last song you listened to?

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P.S. I listened to this song the whole time I wrote this post and now I’m obsessed with it like I was when the Red CD came out.

Being a Woman.

As a woman there are a million and one things that tell you what you should and shouldn’t be. If you look closely at what those things are you will find that almost all of the are contradictory. I honestly don’t think the internet helps with this either. It makes me sad that everything a woman does is criticized and examined to a point where as a woman I don’t want to be looked at as a woman, I just want to be looked at as if I were a person.

It’s bikini season, right now women everywhere are dreading, or have already finished, bathing suit shopping. I feel like this is a time of the year where I see a lot of fat-shaming online. Every year it seems to get less, but there seems to be a lot of people every year telling women they shouldn’t be proud of themselves. I don’t think it’s fair to automatically deem someone unhealthy just because they’re larger. People seem to think that once we accept larger people we are accepting an unhealthy lifestyle and embracing obesity. I do not believe that’s true, we are just accepting people and not judging them based on outward appearances, so remember that when you’re at the beach this summer. I think it’s terrible that women dread this time of year, I don’t know if it’s because so many of truly don’t like to look at ourselves in swimsuits or it’s the image of what we should look like. I just wish I could go to the store, try on a bathing suit and be comfortable. Here’s the catch though, I can try on most swimsuits and be comfortable with myself, but the problem is: What are people going to think of me when I go out in this? How many people are going to think I’m too big? How many people are going to think “She shouldn’t be wearing a bikini”? and I hate that those are my thoughts, as long as I’m comfortable, shouldn’t everyone around me be fine with that too?

As a woman you are always judged, especially based on appearance. If you wear makeup you try to hard, but if you don’t you don’t try enough. If you don’t dress up you’re lazy, if you do suddenly the question is “Why are you so dressed up?” As if you need a reason to put on a skirt instead of jean or leggings in the morning.

 

Then bring in the boys. Oh the boys we are supposedly trying so hard to impress. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress a guy, I’m not going to sit here and type out how you should never do that because that would be super hypocritical because I definitely do that, but that’s not my main aim in life. Guys act like everything we do is in order to please them or impress them, but that’s not true and I think that idea needs to stop. Also the idea that everything women wear is for men, ie crop tops and bikini, if a man is turned on that is his problem not the women. Women do not sexualize men, why do men sexualize women?

Look at someone like Taylor Swift- always looks like she’s put together, but rumors will never stop going around about her. She’s too skinny, she dates too much, she can’t be a feminist because all of her songs about men. Here’s the difference, these aren’t always men criticizing her. This is my last and final point of this very scattered post. In order for women to be treated equally we have to be nice to each other. We can’t bash other people for what they want to do with their lives, we can’t say it’s not feminism to be a stay at home mom or dress however you want. We have to stick up for women like Caitlyn Jenner. Girls and women have to be nice to each other and respect one another if we ever want feminism to succeed and for men to be on our side.

Just some late night thoughts on feminism with Mary.

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30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 19

blog challenge day 19

If I could have 15 minutes with any celebrity it would definitely be Taylor Swift. I’m pretty sure there’s no other celebrity that I’ve liked as long as I’ve liked her. Also, could you imagine meeting Taylor Swift? Like I honestly find her very inspirational and very empowering- especially to young women. I cannot think of a time in my life (since the 7th grade) where at least one of her songs did not directly correlate with my life. There is always a song where I’m like “Oh my gosh this speaks to me in this moment.” Currently her song that speaks to me in the moment is “I Wish You Would”.

If I had 15 minutes with Taylor I would definitely go into how her songs have helped me get through any bad thing- whether it was a break up or friendship mishap or anything that made me upset, her music made it better. Also obviously when I was happy. Like she has A LOT of happy songs and I love them all.

Doesn’t she seem hilarious though too? Like do you follow her on tumblr? She’s hilarious. Also SNL like what can’t she do?

I think 15 minutes with Taylor Swift would be amazing, so if I could spend 15 minutes with anyone famous it would without a doubt be Taylor.

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I Want an Ed

The rumors are always flying, and the question is: Is Sweeran real? No, that’s not what this blog post is about, my speculation of Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, it’s to express my jealousy of their relationship, what kind of relationship that is, is not my place to judge. 

If you know anything about Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran, you probably know that they are best friends and that they are often speculated to have a relationship. I just want a friend like Ed. Okay maybe I want what they’re speculated to have, maybe I want a boyfriend. Kind of. This comes back to what I not know what I want with anything in my life ever. Maybe I just want a boy to go to iHop with and laugh really loud and obnoxiously with, who I kind of have a crush on and he kind of has a crush on me but we don’t really do anything about it, instead we just kind of hang out and eat and laugh. Is that weird?

I’m 19 and in a few month I’ll be 20, at this point in my mom’s life she would be getting married in a little over a year (I believe she got married at 21, but it might’ve been 22 sorry mom) anyway, she was really close to the age I am at now, that’s the point I’m trying to make. Anywho, I am NOT ready for that serious of a relationship. I like the idea of holding hands and going on walks, not the idea of picking out engagement rings and floral arrangements. Not like there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not what I want. 

What it comes down to is I want a guy in my life that has the possibility to maybe have the potential to maybe one day have a serious relationship with, in the future. The very distant future. I wish we just kind of knew who we were supposed to be with that way they would have to hang out with me, I would just be like well you have to wait until I’m done soaring my wild oats then we can get married and stuff. Not soaring my wild oats like talking to other people, like seeing places and things and meeting people and traveling and just seeing everything.  

Does anyone else feel like this? Or is this one of those “justs Mary things”?

XOXO,

Mary.

My Life in 20 Questions!

Okay, it’s been decided, every other week will be Tag Tuesdays. Some Tuesdays will be no posts and other ones will just be random posts or serious posts, or whatever, and Tag Tuesdays might even go down to once a month just because it’s hard finding ones I like. Anywho, onto the questions. Also first a question, is anywho a word? Sometimes spellcheck underlines it and other times it doesn’t so is it a word? Because I really like it.

1.  What is your favorite color? I hate this question, I don’t believe in favorite colors and I refuse to answer it.

2.  What is your favorite number? 5. I like odd numbers only please.

3.  What is your dream career? To be honest, this would be an awesome career to just blog and travel blog about it, but also help people. I really want to work for an NGO and teach English to women in Africa, as well as subjects like math and other basics so that they can teach the kids so that they don’t become dependent upon foreigners teaching everyone.

4.  Where do you see yourself living when you’re on your own?  I hope either on the west coast like Seattle, or somewhere in California, or in London or Dublin, two of my favorite cities in the world.

5.  Where is your favorite place to travel? I love London and Dublin, but when I travel I like to go to new places and new cities. I really want to go to Charleston, South Carolina.

6.  What do you do in your free time? Free time? Thats a thing? No when I have that I like to crochet, read, watch Netflix, okay so I guess free time is a regular day for me… Awkward.

7.  Favorite clothing stores? Forever 21, when they have good clothes, I feel like they’re hit or miss a lot of the time. I also love American Eagle, but I’m also poor so that doesn’t happen a lot. Finally Target, I love it so much also because they have more than just clothes.

8.  Dream car? No car…? I have a love/hate relationship with driving, I don’t really like it but I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t drive. So I’d rather just live in a city where I can get everywhere by walking or public transportation like subways and stuff. 

9.  What TV shows can’t you live without? Grey’s Anatomy, Criminal Minds, and whatever my addiction of the week is.

10.  Three people you need in your life. Well I can’t just pick three so I’m going to do three groups. My parents, they are always there for me, like I am always amazed at how supportive they are of me no matter what, and I know I can go to them with any problem but also things I’m proud of and they’ll be proud too.  My best friends, Katie, Lindsay, and Hannah, I honestly don’t know what I would do without these three ladies, no matter how bad of a day I’m having and I need to rant they’re there to listen and make me laugh. I couldn’t ask for a better support system. Finally, but not least important, I need God. I mean He’s always listening, so I guess He probably hears the things in my head that no one should hear, but He does protect me and answers my prayers, whether I like the answers or not.

11.  I can’t sleep without my old, ratty, “chew” bunny, or an extra pillow, I always need something to hold in my arms while I fall asleep.

12.  If you were given a million dollars all for yourself what would you do with it?  I know it says all for myself but the first thing I would do is pay off my parents house, pay for my college, and then my sisters, and then with whatevers left I would travel for a summer. Hopefully there’s no taxes on this million dollars.

13.  I have a celebrity crush on… Zac Efron, first and foremost who doesn’t? Then if you consider YouTubers celebrities, which some people do and some people don’t, Joe Sugg, but I feel like I know him so it’s almost like a real crush, which is creepy. Very very creepy.

14.  What is your favorite treat to eat? Chocolate. I love it so much. I could marry it.

15.  My favorite animals are… Giraffes. They are so majestic and beautiful and I love them so much.

16.  What is your favorite season? Fall because I don’t like the heat and all the bees finally start to go away.

17.  My favorite childhood shows were… Lizzie McGuire, That So Raven, Even Stevens, I guess you get the gist, Disney Channel shows basically.

18.  Why did you start blogging? Well when I entered college my plan was to be a communications major with a concentration in journalism and I thought it would be a good start, but now I don’t want to do that I still love blogging though and I don’t plan on ever stopping.

19.  What do you hold close to your heart? My grandmom, she died two years ago this month and I will always keep her close to my heart. She was an amazing woman when she was alive, and that will always stay with me and when I make big decisions I try to think of advice she would give me because she was always so wise.

20.  What is one music artist that you are in love with? Well I’m going to assume this questions means with their music and that would be Taylor Swift, and that used to be a super cliche white girl thing and I don’t think it is anymore because now the super cliche white girl thing to do is make fun of her, but that’s not cool.

Anyway so this is actually basically my life but that was the point of the tag, so I guess it worked. 

XOXO

Mary

Answer

January 6: Dustin Hoffman in 1973

Question

January 7: Who was Harald Bluetooth, the 10th-century figure for whom the Bluetooth wireless transferring technology is named?

 

Don’t forget to comment with your guesses!