Happy Thanksgiving!

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Happy Thanksgiving! To be quite honest, it does not feel like Thanksgiving, I went to class today. However, my family is almost back to Dublin! I don’t think I mentioned at all yet that they have been visiting this week which I’m so thankful for, it’s so nice to have them here for the holiday because it’s my favorite holiday and if they weren’t here I would be super homesick.

Anyway, I’ve been doing really good with blogging recently, I hope to keep it that way. I’ll be doing a LNBM for an update probably one day this week. For today I just want to share what I’m thankful for.

  • My parents. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be studying abroad, I wouldn’t have traveled nearly as much as I have been. They are so supportive and encouraging of me, and I would like them to know how much I appreciate and how grateful and thankful I really am.
  • My sisters. While they drive me crazy, I love having two sisters. They are so supportive and always there when I need them.
  • The rest of my family. I think I am very blessed in the family department. I’m really missing all of them today.
  • My old friends. I have the absolute best friends, from college, from home, from the internet. Every day I am reminded that I am so blessed for the friends that I have. It’s nice to know wherever I go, someone is always there for me.
  • My new friends. They have made my trip here amazing, the experience even more special than I expected it. Now I have friends throughout the whole US which is pretty amazing.
  • My corner of the internet. Whenever I’m having an off day I have this place that I can come and write my feelings out, not judged, with people who can relate.
  • My school and studying abroad. I know that I am extremely fortunate to be receiving a level of higher education, and more specifically this semester, to be so lucky travel abroad and see the world.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you have a great day with your friends and family. Even if you aren’t celebrating take a minute to remember what you are thankful for today! Hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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So yesterday I shared what I was thankful for because today I wanted to share with you my Thanksgiving day. It started at work, which I don’t think I’ll ever do again mostly because it really ruined my mood for the whole day but I tried to get over it to have a good time with my family. After work we went to my Aunt Jen’s house for dinner. Here are just some pictures from there that I thought I would share with you to show you what I see on Thanksgiving. With the exception of the two pictures of me in them with my youngest cousin Chloe.

Minus work I would say I had a great Thanksgiving. It was great seeing my family for the first time since the summer really. I saw my grandparents a few weeks ago and I see my sisters and parents every month but my extended family I hardly see. Chris (my cousin) and Rachael (his now fiance and basically a cousin already) are both in college too so I see them less often the rest of the family or at least it feels like it. It was also the first time I’ve seen them since they’ve been engaged so that’s pretty cool.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! What was the best part? I liked the bread (even though it was a little burnt it’s the best). I know these pictures aren’t super artistic or breathtaking but I just wanted to capture a few memories and moments.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I’m Thankful For…

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I made this collage and it ended up very small. The little font says that I couldn’t find pictures of everything and everyone I’m thankful for so just because you aren’t pictured doesn’t mean I don’t love and care for you so much. Just a clarification so no one thinks that I don’t love them because I do.

A traditional normal person would list everything they’re thankful for on actual Thanksgiving but I have other plans for tomorrow so I’m listing what I’m thankful for tonight. I’m not normal nor traditional so enjoy the list of things I’m thankful for early.

  • My Hood friends. Last year I struggled a lot with friends and people who didn’t seem to really care about me or anything and now I feel like I’m finally comfortable with the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with. So shout out to all of you, you know who you are. I’m really thankful for all you, so much.
  • My family. This is so cheesy and I feel like I don’t need to say much but I couldn’t ask for a more supportive group of people. Anytime I’m going through anything I’m sure to get a Facebook message, comment, or phone call.
  • All of my other friends. There are great people in my life and I couldn’t ask for better. The past year has really taught me that there are people who will be there for you and people who won’t, a tough but important lesson.
  • My blogger friends. Over a year ago I never thought I would ever be able just to click with someone online, but I have and I’m so grateful to all of them. There are people out there that just get you without knowing you and that’s amazing to me and if it wasn’t for this I never would have learned that. Again,  you know who you are and just thank you for reaching out to me.
  • The fact that I get to go to college. There are so many people in the world who are not nearly as privileged as myself who would never get such opportunities so even when it’s hard I need to be thankful that this is a possibility.
  • My blog. I’m just thankful that I have a place to write everything that I think in a seemingly judge free zone.
  • All the opportunities I’m given. Things come up in my life on a daily basis and I’m just glad for every single one.
  • IHOP, the greatest restaurant on the whole planet. Pancakes and coffee what could be better?
  • Target, a great store. The greatest store.
  • My life. There is nothing better than life and I’m just happy where I am in mine currently. Everything is good.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

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Update of My Life!

Dinner tonight was terrible so once I finish this blog post I decided that I’m going to Sheetz for some chicken but I have to get through this first and this sentence would usually help me get an idea or two but it’s not working. Ten minutes later this sentence hasn’t worked either so I’m just going to update.

I am almost half way done my second year of college, which is great. I have study abroad applications to do, okay one, but still I have to do it. Which shouldn’t take me long with the exception that I have to find a professor to ask to write me a recommendation letter.

Thanksgiving is this week and I’m so excited because it is my favorite holiday of the whole year. I can’t wait to finally see my family again, I haven’t seen my cousins since the late July or early August. Break is going to busy though with trying to see everyone and working. I am going Black Friday shopping with my mom which will lack things for myself and hopefully I will accomplish the purchasing of presents that I am unable to make. I think I’ll be more busy in the next week than I’ve been in the past two weeks of school.

I have a hopefully cool project coming in December which will provide more motivation and less effort, which is probably really bad but good. If I fail at it I might get really upset because it’s such a good idea but with my follow through and my ideas are always a good idea hypothetically and the end result is really bad. I don’t know we shall see.

Finally, I’m picking up Lindsay from the airport on Tuesday and I’m so excited!

That’s all I have for this update, where is everyone going for Thanksgiving?

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I didn’t know it was that bad…

So I’m on Facebook today and I see I have a message from my grandmother, okay that’s not really strange, except the message was. I saw my extended family twice over break which was nice because I never really get to see them that often, but I guess they saw a change in me.  She let me know that I could go over to her house anytime to have a good cry.  I guess it’s becoming more noticeable in my personality that I am unhappy. This is not who I want to be! I want to be happy, I want to feel confident in myself, I don’t want to feel so much anger and resentment towards myself all the time.  I didn’t know it was becoming such an overwhelming look to me.  I mean my mom didn’t even notice a few weeks ago! Hasn’t really gotten that much worse? I don’t know what I am even doing any more. I feel like everyday I have an internal battle with myself to not drop out. I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to be a “small town girl” any more.  I came here for change and I don’t think I’m getting it.  Maybe I’m not putting myself out there enough, but I feel like every time I try I get shot down again!

I’m back to blaming the prom guy.  I seriously don’t think I’ll ever be that happy again, and I will always resent him for making me feel happy in the first place.  If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t know what it felt like to have that pure bliss of happiness. That’s what really crushed me about the whole “I don’t like you” thing.  Not that he didn’t like me, but that he made me so happy and he had to take it away.  Maybe that’s part of the problem too, now I know what it’s like to feel like that.  I will always have the desire to feel like that again but I can’t.  I know, I know what you’re going to say, “Wait, the right guy is sure to come and you’ll feel a thousand times better!” but no I don’t want to wait.  

I saw a tweet last night that said you reach your lowest point of happiness at age 45 and I really hope that’s not true.  I don’t even want to imagine what it will feel like then. I feel like I’m at an all time low.  This is worse than the fifth grade when my best friend moved away and I wouldn’t talk to anyone for a week, mostly because I’m a “grown-up” now and I have to talk to people and I can’t lock myself away like I did when I was ten.  

I tried to find something here that makes me happy it just didn’t work out.  I am the treasurer of the class here, but no one tells me if we’re ever even doing anything.  There has yet to be a meeting about it. I joined Model United Nations, something I’m actually good out but they never give me information, and I try my best to be the ass-kissing freshman so they keep me around.

I think this is a big reason that I want to transfer. I’m so tired of feeling like shit all the time.  Thanksgiving was awesome because I finally got to be with my friends again, even if the one did seem to be lying more than usual.  I guess I just have to make it through the next 16 days until winter break and I have a month off to spend time with my friends and family.  Maybe things will be better next semester. I can only hope right?

So sorry about the super depressing post.  It sucks. Sorry, feel free to ignore this whole thing.  I just had to get this out because I don’t have anyone to talk about my feelings with so I write them to share with the internet. Whatever.  Thanks to those of you who did read this far, it means a lot. Seriously. 

XOXO

Mary 

Home Sweet Home… Well Kinda

So almost as soon as I hit the little “Publish” button I got a cheeky little email letting me know that all Tuesday classes were cancelled and then two more proceeding emails from my Tuesday teachers pushing back assignments.  Let me just tell you, I was one excited lady.  So I rushed packing and cleaning, made and edited a video, got gas, google chatted with my friends for a few minutes (whilst in a very odd mood may I add) all before ten when my friend who I goes home with me finished work.  We loaded the car and headed home. I am very thankful to have him as a friend because he give some great advice and we just have some really good conversations.  I dropped him off around 12:15 so I didn’t get home until close to 12:45.  I had to park on the street rather than the driveway so I only brought my laptop and iPad in leaving me to sleep in only my underwear and sweatshirt, so it was a rather chilly night but it was nice sleeping in my own bed.  It’s nice to be home but my little sister is also home sick today with some sort of stomach bug.  This has brought me to carrying around the bottle of Lysol to spray on every surface that she may has touched within the past 72 hours. I seriously cannot afford to get sick this break I have too much to do and too many people to see. It’s nice to be home but my hometown is ignorant and filled with hate. I’d rather be somewhere else but it’s the time of year to be surrounded family and all that fun stuff. So here’s just a little update on me for now. Maybe I’ll be able to do another little post later. And oh yes I forgot to mention that I uploaded a new video last night here’s the link for that:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDgA9E-j5Jk 

I hope you guys enjoy that and all that jazz. Thanks for reading and watching if you chose to watch.  

XOXO

Mary

The Holiday Season

Wow, it is November.  This can only mean one thing: the holiday season.

First this starts with Thanksgiving. What joyous day. Just kidding, one of my least favorite holidays.  Thanksgiving has always consisted of my mother trying to figure out how to get to every house that invites us for the same meal at every place, and me being forced to eat turkey at least twice.  This year fortunately we will only be attending, only after I work all day.  It is sure to be an excellent day.

Black Friday- now that’s my kind of holiday.  An early morning of shopping with my mom and grandfather. I love it. Deals and buying stuff for people- it just makes me happy.

December- as a Catholic basically the whole month of December is a holiday because we spend every week counting down to Christmas and it is amazing. I love advent.

Christmas- it is the best. I don’t like getting presents, actually it makes me feel really uncomfortable, I love giving them though.  I have already started making presents for my friends and coming up with ideas for everyone else. I seriously just love giving people stuff. 

Anyway thought I would just talk about this soon to be popular topic because I am a hipster. Just kidding, I am not a hipster.

Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

Mary

Hello World, lets have a chat!

So everyone, how are you? Good I hope!

I’m just having one of those days where I feel out of breath. I feel like I have a lot to do even though I don’t and that is because I am way ahead of schedule. I wasn’t scheduled to be posting this at Starbucks until at least 7! I guess this is good though. I wanted to give you a proper update on more then just my YouTube (there will be a little one though) because that is rubbish to those of you who don’t care about that. 

So anyway, update. Finals are quickly approach, ideas of transferring are entering my head, and Thanksgiving break is in 15 days and my friends will be reunited as a group! Praise the Lord!

Finals will be here soon and as of right now I am worrying about two classes, Arabic and Mass Media.  At this point though I really don’t care.

Lately I’ve been seriously considering transferring. I really don’t know if I am truly happy where I am right now. Anyone have any advice or feeling the same way? I just keep second guessing myself. I might just have to stick out the four or so years here, we’ll see. Please share any transferring or thoughts of transferring stories you have too!

I seriously cannot wait for Thanksgiving to get here. I am so excited for my group of friends to be reunited and see my best friend for the first time since the day I left.

Anyway here’s this little real update for you guys about my life and that boring shit.

I have a new YouTube channel apart from my personal one now just because. Go ahead and subscribe if you are feeling it: http://www.youtube.com/user/marysaverageadventur/about

Thanks for reading everyone!

XOXO

Mary