Trying to Date as 20-Something

Dating sucks and I hate it. I hate the start of relationships where you have to get to know someone and trying to figure out the way they think, how to understand them, and just all those little things. I can’t think of anything about dating that I like. I can’t even count the number of times in a week where I want to call my mom and ask her to just arrange my marriage.

I was recently ghosted. Or maybe that’s still an occurring thing. I don’t really know how long of a process that typically is, but all I know is that I’m pretty pissed about it. Like really, you’re in your twenties, I’m willing to have a conversation, so let’s talk about it. I find myself to be a reasonable person, and ghosting makes me totally unreasonable. So to the guy that’s ghosting/ghosted me, if you’re reading this, I’m a catch and because of your unwillingness to have a conversation with me, you’re missing out boy. Also mom and dad- I don’t want to talk about it. I would be lying if I said I’ve never ghosted anyone, I mean I tried. I was unsuccessful because I feel like shit leaving someone in the dark like that.

I know that I’m a relatively easy person to date (at least in my opinion). I don’t require fancy dates (my favorite places are IHOP and Target) or even that much attention, a text a day suffices for me. However, I never seem to be enough for the boys that  pay attention to me, or I require too much. Honestly, the last guy who was actually my boyfriend couldn’t do enough for me so I broke up with him. That sounds really shitty, but he complained if I asked to go on a walk around the park, not even if we could get a coffee.

So I don’t understand why I find dating so complicated. I sometimes feel as if I have convoluted ideas behind dating. I can be quoted of saying “Did I miss the day in school where everyone learned to talk to people they’re attracted to?” Other than my lack of flirtation skills, I can’t get a guy to notice me. Well, I can, just not the ones that I want to, and I don’t know why that is.

I feel like I’m starting to get a little side-tracked (naturally) in this post. Really, the thing is, there is not one good thing about dating in your twenties. Tinder sucks and it’s how to meet some really shitty people. I would be curious to know if anyone has actually had good, continued success on the app, because I would say I had brief and okay success but now I will never use it again.

I’m not one to blame things on social media because I love it more than most other things. However, it does make dating harder. It makes reading into someone’s personal life a lot easier and actually talking to someone a lot more difficult. Like, if I just start seeing someone I am not about to tweet some T-Swift lyrics because that’s unfortunately the kind of thing that freaks guys out whether or not it has anything to do with them. They might not even follow me on social media yet and I won’t tweet it just in case they decide to creep. Fortunately, I’m not the type to get mad if a guy likes another girl’s picture, or retweets something, but there are people that get into actual fights over such things. While, I may find that little bit out there, it’s a real problem. Social media might be hurting our dating lives.

On the other hand, social media has done this awesome thing that it usually does, which is bring people together. I am curious to know if that works for people. I know a girl who started dating someone on Instagram, like they had mutual friends (I think) and they hit it off through comments. To me, that’s kinda crazy and I don’t think that happens a lot, but maybe I’m wrong. My goal is that an attractive man will see how hilarious I am on Twitter and slide into my DMs, I doubt it will happen but a girl can dream.

At the end of the day, my thoughts behind dating is that it sucks and I want an arranged marriage. No, not really, but it does suck. They’re are too many ways for it to go downhill. For someone like me, that is a tough thing to grasp sometimes. Post-graduation I would really like to have a steady man in my life that likes me and treats me well. Preferably, he has aspirations of things and goals he will obtain. Obviously, I’ll keep you posted on any male suiters (only after they know about the blog and they stick around past the “dating” phase of things).

What do you think about dating as a twenty-something?

Advertisements

Old Fashioned

For whatever reason I decided to jump on the bandwagon and start watching the Bachelorette. Why not be like every other college girl? Anyway this got me thinking about dating practices of today. First of all I could never do the Bachelor or Bachelorette, I don’t like competition for a guy and I could never have that many choices at once, it would be way too much pressure. I would never be able to stand there in a dress and try to impress a guy more than all the other girls that are like super models. Then can you imagine trying to pick out of so many guys? I couldn’t do it. What if you pick the wrong one? That would be way too much pressure for me.

So that got me thinking to the idea of online dating that is very common today. And obviously I’m not thinking about that for right now (I’m too young for that!). I think it might be expected that I would be interested in since I am a woman of the the internet, however I am not. It freaks me out. I even get freaked out sometimes on WordPress because I’m afraid I’m not actually talking to another college student. Online dating I believe would be an unnecessary source of anxiety for me. But I guess never say never.

Finally I thought about Tinder. Tinder is an app that from my all understanding is based on looks and if you like the way someone looks and they like the way you look  you can chat. Well first of all, I do not want someone to base every first impression of me off of my looks and same for myself. I don’t want to base my first impression of people off of looks. Secondly, I heard you have to put multiple selfies up, I can’t even take one good selfie let alone multiple. So yes, I have yet to download Tinder to my phone.

I guess what it comes down to is that I prefer the more old fashioned way of dating, meeting someone by chance and in person. What do you guys think of these not so traditional ways of meeting people?

XOXO,

Mary.