So your not a feminist…

life-is-too-short-to-belived-counting-the-years-enjoy-the-ride-and-makeamazing-memories-have-a-great-birthdayOkay I get it. You are a woman and you’re not like other women. You’ve never faced adversity so you don’t really need feminism. You don’t understand why so many women are afraid of this presidency. Seriously, he said “Grab ’em by the pussy,” and then he took away the right to birth control. We are living in a society where rape culture is perpetuated, but the president.

Okay but good for you, you are “not like other girls” because you haven’t faced any problems related to your gender, and for your sake, I hope you never do.

Here’s the thing though, I’m fighting for you. I’m fighting for your right to be a stay at home mom, your right for affordable healthcare, your right for an equal pay check, and anything else you might need that someone out there wants to keep from you.

The best thing about America (hoping it stays that way) is that we have our freedom of speech, and God gave us free-will so you really don’t need to be a feminist. I just wish you would realize what the cause actually meant.

I don’t want all of you non-feminists out there to think that I find myself better than you, I don’t, seriously. I’ve seen that comment so many places, and it’s just not true. I love you so much, I just want the best for you, your daughters, your mothers, your sisters, and any other woman that has impacted your life in a positive way.

Feminism isn’t just for women. It’s for everyone and everyone can benefit, I wish you were a feminist, and I’ll never understand those of you who say you are not, however, I will fight for you. Fight for your rights. Fight for our equality.

Remember, at the end of the day, this shouldn’t be a discussion. All people are equal, treat each other as such.

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Feminist Mary on Being a Woman.

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When I was driving back to school on Monday, my driver side windshield wiper started coming off so I had to pull over on the side of the turnpike to try to fix it in the rain. When I went outside, my first thought was, well this is how half the girls die on Criminal Minds, at least it wasn’t night-time.

Last year, I had a wallet with a strap that I would bring with me if I went somewhere. Yes, this was in my heyday of binge watching Criminal Minds and I was quite paranoid, but I would swing it around if anyone got too close to me so I could hit them if they got too close.

My boyfriend and I met on Tinder. This is news that I’ll address another time, however, this is something very curious to me. He never tried to find my Facebook, never had a back up plan in case I was crazy, and that’s when I realized guys don’t have to do that. I had three different plans in case something happened and I had to leave because he was crazy.

Men don’t really have to worry about a woman being a serial killer, they don’t have to worry that she will attack them. They don’t have to worry about having to jump into their car at night because someone could be waiting to grab them to harm them in some way. They don’t walk with their keys in between their fingers, knowing that it’s not going to do much good, even if someone was to attack them.

We live in a world that it’s dangerous to be a woman. The number of rapes in the US range from 300,000 (Department of Justice) to 1.3 million (CDC). These statistics could go on an on, again according to the CDC, 1 in 5 women will be raped in some capacity. According to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center, 1 in 3 girls will be sexually assaulted in their college career.  Women don’t choose these statistics, they are an unfortunate reality when you are a woman.

Because I’m a feminist I like to believe that these will change. I like to think that this generation will talk to their sons about not raping women rather than telling their daughters to be careful to not get too drunk when they go out. I like to think that more people are talking about consent and that yes is the only word that means yes. I like to think that we are changing, but why are the numbers staying the same?

It’s sad that we live in a world that I’m afraid to get out of my car on the highway, because who knows when a serial killer is going to drive by? It’s sad that we live in a world that women have to be afraid to walk alone at night. It’s just sad. I don’t understand how people can hurt each other so much.

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3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 3

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Okay so maybe I went the unconventional route with this challenge, and didn’t take it too seriously but that’s how I like to do life. This is a quote from one of my favorite TV shows “Parks and Recreation”. I think this quote is very suitable for myself, however I must also include family with friends.

Leslie Knope is an inspiration to all. Like talk about an empowering woman, Leslie is a powerful, amazing, positive, breakfast loving woman, and all around very inspiring to me, which is why I thought it was very important to make it my last quote. She’s just this huge feminist icon in my opinion, feel free to disagree, but when I think feminism I think Leslie Knope.

I think this just suits me and my love for breakfast foods, especially IHOP, and that sometimes, maybe I can prioritize that over people, but not really. They might almost be equal because whenever I talk to my friends from back home I just go on and on about how I miss IHOP.  However silly it may seem, it really holds some truth to it though. Friends and family, waffles, work.

I really appreciate the last part, always put work third. Work should never be the first priority because than nothing is going to matter, and I think people forget about that. There is this idea that work is what makes you money so it has to go first, but really what makes you happy needs to go first.

So my list would probably go: God, friends and family, breakfast*, school/blogging/work. I put blogging in the work category since it takes up so much time, more time than a hobby, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I do need to remember not to put it first, because I did have a tendency to do that when I was daily blogging. You need to put people and the things that really enrich your life first.

What would your list be like?

If you are confused by this post, be sure to check out yesterday’s and Sunday’s posts to catch up! Thanks again to Getting Through Anxiety for challenging me to this, I’ve had a lot of fun with it! I didn’t challenge anyone like I was supposed to, but I really encourage everyone to try it, it really makes you think not only about  your favorite quotes,  but about what they really, truly mean to you.

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*Half joking about breakfast being that high up on the list, half not joking.

 

Being a Woman.

As a woman there are a million and one things that tell you what you should and shouldn’t be. If you look closely at what those things are you will find that almost all of the are contradictory. I honestly don’t think the internet helps with this either. It makes me sad that everything a woman does is criticized and examined to a point where as a woman I don’t want to be looked at as a woman, I just want to be looked at as if I were a person.

It’s bikini season, right now women everywhere are dreading, or have already finished, bathing suit shopping. I feel like this is a time of the year where I see a lot of fat-shaming online. Every year it seems to get less, but there seems to be a lot of people every year telling women they shouldn’t be proud of themselves. I don’t think it’s fair to automatically deem someone unhealthy just because they’re larger. People seem to think that once we accept larger people we are accepting an unhealthy lifestyle and embracing obesity. I do not believe that’s true, we are just accepting people and not judging them based on outward appearances, so remember that when you’re at the beach this summer. I think it’s terrible that women dread this time of year, I don’t know if it’s because so many of truly don’t like to look at ourselves in swimsuits or it’s the image of what we should look like. I just wish I could go to the store, try on a bathing suit and be comfortable. Here’s the catch though, I can try on most swimsuits and be comfortable with myself, but the problem is: What are people going to think of me when I go out in this? How many people are going to think I’m too big? How many people are going to think “She shouldn’t be wearing a bikini”? and I hate that those are my thoughts, as long as I’m comfortable, shouldn’t everyone around me be fine with that too?

As a woman you are always judged, especially based on appearance. If you wear makeup you try to hard, but if you don’t you don’t try enough. If you don’t dress up you’re lazy, if you do suddenly the question is “Why are you so dressed up?” As if you need a reason to put on a skirt instead of jean or leggings in the morning.

 

Then bring in the boys. Oh the boys we are supposedly trying so hard to impress. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress a guy, I’m not going to sit here and type out how you should never do that because that would be super hypocritical because I definitely do that, but that’s not my main aim in life. Guys act like everything we do is in order to please them or impress them, but that’s not true and I think that idea needs to stop. Also the idea that everything women wear is for men, ie crop tops and bikini, if a man is turned on that is his problem not the women. Women do not sexualize men, why do men sexualize women?

Look at someone like Taylor Swift- always looks like she’s put together, but rumors will never stop going around about her. She’s too skinny, she dates too much, she can’t be a feminist because all of her songs about men. Here’s the difference, these aren’t always men criticizing her. This is my last and final point of this very scattered post. In order for women to be treated equally we have to be nice to each other. We can’t bash other people for what they want to do with their lives, we can’t say it’s not feminism to be a stay at home mom or dress however you want. We have to stick up for women like Caitlyn Jenner. Girls and women have to be nice to each other and respect one another if we ever want feminism to succeed and for men to be on our side.

Just some late night thoughts on feminism with Mary.

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