Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 28

I am sitting on our living room floor with about a million and five papers scattered around me along with a host of cold meds, decaf coffee, and some soy and dairy free chocolate. I keep staring at my very out-dated to-do list hoping it will give me answers that it’s not going to give me. I already took my evening dose of melatonin, so my apologies if this is a little scattered, I have to be up at 4:45 to babysit tomorrow morning so better safe than sorry with taking it early.

I have a second interview tomorrow, I’m not one for publicizing this type of information as I see it to be jinx worthy, however, I put everything here and maybe it’s jinx worthy to not ask for your best thoughts. Really, I’m afraid of jinxes no matter what so no matter what I do, if I don’t get this job I’m going to blame it as a jinx on something.

The job hunt in general, has been stressful. I have lost count of the number of jobs I’ve applied for. I’ve stopped applying to anything not on the east coast because I don’t think anybody wants to pay for me to relocate. If you do, ya know, let me know, I’ll move anywhere.

Other than jobs I have a crazy short time until graduation and I honestly can’t believe it. Although cliche, it does it feel like just yesterday that I started this blog in conjunction with my college career. While I’m so excited to be done school and get out of the classroom and maybe even out of my parents house (no offense, just looking for new), I’m not quite as ready for bills and whatever else real adults have to do. I want to do all the fun things and skip everything I might ever have to worry about. Generally, I’m more excited than not.

I’ve been working a lot this year to get to a point where I’m comfortable. I should’ve spent less but I’m considering this my last few months to be a little reckless. I babysit ALL the time, less now than earlier this year, but still a lot. I also work at the marketing department at my school, and as an intern. There might be other things I’m forgetting but, it’s been good. I think it’s been helping me prep for the future of being busy. If I could be a professional nanny, it’s definitely something I would consider. However, I did not go to college to do that, so I should really use the skills I’ve developed to please my parents and myself.

Anyway, here’s a little bit of my word vomit for everyone. How’s you job hunt going? Any tips for me? Anyone successfully freelancing and have some advice? Let me know!

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I’m Back (for Real)

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It’s real. I’m going to blog again. My life has gotten crazy and my blog has definitely taken a back seat to all of my other commitments. However, this is something that I truly love doing so I’ve done my research, got Katie as my accountability buddy and from this point forward there will be a blog post every week until the end of 2016.

A lot has changed since I’ve been here last, I have a million jobs (that I love!!) I’ve been to DC (not really new, it’s too close to be new at this point), a few haircuts, and I turned 22. I am most excited about the later, it my Taylor Swift year and so far it’s been off to a good start especially since my haircut makes me feel like her.

By this point, if you are a reader, you’ve seen my anxiety post, so that’s new too. I have also gotten a new planner which I’ve created to be a blog binder as well. I cannot wait for the new year for a lot of reason, but a big one is all of the inserts that I can buy on Etsy, because IT’S A FILOFAX!! I found an affordable one at Michael’s and with the 40% off coupon, I couldn’t say no. Expect a post on that in the near future.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on how to be a better blogger. I think I’ve done more research on blogging this year than actual blogging. I hit a rut, acknowledged a multitude of times, and now I plan on really doing something about it. I have an accountability buddy, so really, I have no excuse from this point forward.

How do you stay motivated as a blogger? Any tips or tricks I should take into account? Let me know!!

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Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 21

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Have I said recently that I’m exhausted? The classwork is non-stop this semester which explains my unfortunate lack of posting. It’s a lot at once or like none, I just need to remember when it’s none to stay on top of it. But at the same time, when it there isn’t any homework to do there’s a million other things to do. Basically I’m very tired a lot of the time.

Let’s also talk about anxiety for a moment. I hate it. I hate when I’m fine for so long, then like it hits me like a ton of bricks. I just feel like right now there’s expectations of me from everyone and I’m afraid to disappoint people and then I have my own stuff to do and it leads to a mind overload. I also feel like it’s too early in the semester for this. I don’t know, hopefully it doesn’t stick around because I am too tired for this.

On a side note, I’m starting another blog for class, so I’ll be sharing that here too.  Once something is up, I’ll share the link. It’s a crafting blog and once the class is over, hopefully I’ll be in the habit so I’ll be able to do some more of those on this blog. However, I have to do 14 posts for that class, so there’s a chance that there will be less posts on here. I’m basically MIA anyway so maybe it won’t even matter.

I also have a little bit of a rant for this LNBM, Netflix on my iPad has not been working. It logs me out all the time, once an episode finishes I have to kill the app and sometimes login again just to get it to work. How am I supposed to hate Nurse Jackie if I can’t even watch the show?!

Speaking of Nurse Jackie, what a weird show. I’ve never hated the main character of a TV show so much. When I watched Gossip Girl, I disliked the main characters in a rotating fashion, every four episodes I didn’t like a new person, however, it wasn’t consistent dislike of anyone. Nurse Jackie, on the other hand, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually liked her character. I don’t know if that’s how it’s supposed to be or if that’s just me. I really liked Zoey at first, but then all the sudden she’s a mini-Jackie. I just don’t know. Anyone else have an opinion?

What are your late night thoughts? Mine are: going to bed before my  mind literally explodes.

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3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge: Day 3

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Okay so maybe I went the unconventional route with this challenge, and didn’t take it too seriously but that’s how I like to do life. This is a quote from one of my favorite TV shows “Parks and Recreation”. I think this quote is very suitable for myself, however I must also include family with friends.

Leslie Knope is an inspiration to all. Like talk about an empowering woman, Leslie is a powerful, amazing, positive, breakfast loving woman, and all around very inspiring to me, which is why I thought it was very important to make it my last quote. She’s just this huge feminist icon in my opinion, feel free to disagree, but when I think feminism I think Leslie Knope.

I think this just suits me and my love for breakfast foods, especially IHOP, and that sometimes, maybe I can prioritize that over people, but not really. They might almost be equal because whenever I talk to my friends from back home I just go on and on about how I miss IHOP.  However silly it may seem, it really holds some truth to it though. Friends and family, waffles, work.

I really appreciate the last part, always put work third. Work should never be the first priority because than nothing is going to matter, and I think people forget about that. There is this idea that work is what makes you money so it has to go first, but really what makes you happy needs to go first.

So my list would probably go: God, friends and family, breakfast*, school/blogging/work. I put blogging in the work category since it takes up so much time, more time than a hobby, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I do need to remember not to put it first, because I did have a tendency to do that when I was daily blogging. You need to put people and the things that really enrich your life first.

What would your list be like?

If you are confused by this post, be sure to check out yesterday’s and Sunday’s posts to catch up! Thanks again to Getting Through Anxiety for challenging me to this, I’ve had a lot of fun with it! I didn’t challenge anyone like I was supposed to, but I really encourage everyone to try it, it really makes you think not only about  your favorite quotes,  but about what they really, truly mean to you.

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*Half joking about breakfast being that high up on the list, half not joking.

 

I Will BE Successful

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Yesterday someone had the nerve to imply that communications majors should be concerned about their futures, that we should be worried that there aren’t enough jobs for us. This came out of the mouth of a Marketing major, and I dare her to see this and question me about it.

I am a Communication Arts major, I am learning how to communicate. And while I worry day in and day out about what I want to be when I grow up, I am not worried about what I will become when I grow up. There are options. I’ve applied for internships in FIVE different fields because my degree is that versatile. I’ve applied in HR, Marketing, sales, PR, and just general communications, I could also apply for internships in newspapers, editorial offices, magazines, publishing companies, and websites like BuzzFeed, so don’t you dare tell me that I should be concerned about my future.

I am worried because I don’t know what I want to be, but I know I have options. I am not limiting myself to a concentration because of that reason. I will not choose marketing because that is so limiting. I can still take marketing classes and put that on my resume if I want, but I really don’t need to since I already had an internship in marketing and that looks better than any class I could take on the subject. I don’t want to limit myself to the digital realm, even though that does happen to be what I like, because what if I fall in love with print. Being a Communications major means I’m giving myself options. Choosing to be a Communications major without limitations allows me to explore even more options. If I was certain on something, then yes, I’m sure I would have a concentration, but I don’t need one, I will be successful in a plethora of ways without one.

I’m sick and tired of people verbalizing or implying that I will be a failure simply because of my major. I’m sorry, but every company needs to know how to communicate. I refuse to worry about my ability to find a job when I could walk into any office and say “I can help your office communicate better, look at my degree to prove it!” I won’t say they would give it to me, but my degree is useful. Don’t doubt me on this because I will fight to defend my decision.

I will not be the richest person in the world from this degree, but I can almost guarantee that any company could use me or someone like me.

So please rub your marketing, math, engineering, or any other degree in my face. Don’t worry, I won’t criticize it, but just know that I have a wider variety of options so stop criticizing me and implying that I’m going to be a failure. No matter where you go, someone like myself will be there communicating with the rest of the world what you are doing – we are a needed breed. Communications majors will never not be needed, a company will always need to communicate outside its doors with the rest of the world no matter what they do. For the public to know they need a service it must be communicated, whether that’s through print, online, marketing (which you can do with just a communications degree), or even just within departments we are a commodity. I am not worthless like you like to imply. I do not have a joke of a major, my classes might be a little easier than bio and chem, but I still work for my grades. You need a communications major in your professional world, never doubt it. Do you see engineers working in HR? Nope, communications. Believe it or not, we’re needed, I’m going to succeed so don’t imply that I will fail.

I refuse to fail, so say it all you want, but when you go out of your way to criticize everyone else’s decisions it shows your own insecurities. Evaluate your own life and choices, not mine.

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The Dreaded Question: What do you want to do?

Today was the first day of classes, which still requires so many professors asking your name and major, and today career paths. That was a terrible question. What do you want to do? I hate it so much. I hate that I’m twenty and I have no clue what I want to do. I hate that I know a million things I don’t want to do but there’s not even a little part of me that knows what I want to do.

I hate saying in front of the class that I don’t have career goals because I look like I’m not ambitious, but I am, I just don’t know what I want to be ambitious about.  Whenever these questions come up I get anxious, I love thinking and planning ahead but I can’t even decide what I want to do and that’s stressful for me.

Whenever anyone asks me what I want to do that’s not my advisor (who happened to be the professor asking today) I usually just say journalism or something in the communications field. Not true, definitely something in the communications field but not journalism. If I say that though people will think I have some type of plan so I get less criticism from strangers if I just say that.

Now, since this scares me so much I take career tests ALL THE TIME! Like literally when I have free time I’m trying to find a new one to take that’s free. They all give me the same result: JOURNALIST! I don’t want to be a journalist. I don’t like the people who aspire to be journalists (besides Logan and very few others) they’re very rude and arrogant. I can’t stand arrogance. I don’t want to subject myself to that the rest of my life.

I think I worry about this so much because I don’t want to grow up looking forward to the weekends. I don’t want to think every Monday “not this again” or “When’s Friday?” it’s easily one of my biggest fears that I  will be waiting for the next time I catch a break. I don’t want to be one of those people who dreads going to work everyday, I honestly want to enjoy my job. I hate my job (not internship) at home and I dread going there every time I do. I hate that I’m waiting for time to pass, wishing for eight hours of my life to just vanish. I want to enjoy every hour that I can and if that means exploring every option of what I’m doing with my future that’s what that’ll mean. It terrifies me that I don’t know what I want to do but it’s better than choosing something to do and then hating it for the rest of my life I suppose.

No one ask me that question again though, okay? It really pisses me off. The permanent answer is I DON’T KNOW!

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The Always Looming Future.

I would say since I left for college the future has not stopped looming over my head. The question of what am I doing with myself and my life is the forever question it seems. I go to class and do my work but I’m not passionate about it, I don’t know if I’m not a passionate person or if I just haven’t found anything to be passionate about yet. I’m so jealous of people who find something they love and want to spend the next 50 odd years doing.

I think about the traditional way of life, go to college, meet someone, get a job, get married (sometimes those two are reversed), work, have kids (falls in other places too), work some more, divorce maybe, maybe even remarry, maybe have some more kids, kids grow up, you retire, have grandkids then after hopefully a good 20 years of retirement you die. I hate that. I hate the traditional.

I want to graduate college and help people but if I have an internship at the end of college- which is the goal, I would hope that they would maybe give me a job or I would have to find a job in a field that I like which illiminates my ability to travel and help people right after college. I think once you get that job though you get stuck in a rut of work and life starts faster than you can blink and that’s what really scares me. I’m afraid that I’m going to blink and I’m going to be 50 in a cubicle with a kid in college and a husband and another kid at home. I would say this is easily my second biggest fear, the rut of life.

I think there’s about 20 blog posts of me this year just stressing out about the future. What I’m going to do, what it holds, what is going to happen with me as a whole and as a person and how people are going to affect me in the long run, where I’m going to be in five years. All of it is very overwhelming to think about. I tend to write it all here to get all of these thoughts out of my head because they more they stay in my head the more they drive me crazy. I hate not having a plan, I really hate the unknown. I hate that I don’t know if my glasses might not be in the store tomorrow, so the fact that I don’t know what I’ll be doing 10 years from now pains me.

I keep thinking that one day I’m going to wake up and I’m just going to know what I’m doing with my life and something is just going to fall into my lap and that will be it. I’ll just know what I’m doing, yet that’s not how life works, I feel like you either have an idea or you don’t, I have ideas they just aren’t practical.

I don’t know friends. These are the thoughts that haunt me.

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My Anxiety Won’t Win

No matter how long you’ve been following me, you know that I suffer from anxiety. For whatever reason today has been particularly bad, I’ve had a few small panic attacks, but I’ve had this general feeling of anxiousness all day. Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse, feeling anxious all day or having one bad panic attack, at least then it’s over with, but then I feel really sad just because I feel mentally and emotionally weak. I’m not sure if that makes sense that’s just how I feel.

However, today I had a meeting with someone at work who works does PR for the company I’m working a for the summer. I had two hours from the time I started to the time the meeting began and I felt so anxious. I was afraid I wasn’t going to know what to say or how to act. It turns out I had no reason to be anxious because we hit it off! We talked the whole hour without a single moment of awkward silence. I acted like myself, told her about myself and my interests. I think that’s a great thing to do in situations like that because anxiety only builds with lies and pretending, or at least that’s what I think. She actually has given me the awesome opportunity to write a press release which is an awesome experience to have at 19. I’m so excited.

This really great opportunity brought with it anxiety, well maybe not with it because it was already there. I had to find the information for the press release, which meant I had to use the phone that has been sitting on my desk, used once to set up my email. For some reason making phone calls to people I don’t know makes me really nervous. I think I would actually rather meet someone face to face or even like skype them over a phone call. I don’t know why that is, but it actually caused me to have a small panic attack. I set little accomplishments so that I could do it. I retyped all the information I was given into a way that it was easier for me to understand. I then took out the questions I had to ask and typed those all up. I practiced reading them so I wouldn’t stutter, and to make sure that they made sense. After a lot of deep breathing I picked up the phone and dialed the extension. Let me tell you five rings in cruel to a person with anxiety, he didn’t answer and I had to leave a voicemail. The rest of the afternoon I’m waiting for him to return my call just working on some more powerpoint stuff and I think I’m in the clear at 4:50, but no, at 4:53 the phone rings. It went well, I asked him my questions and now I’ll arrange all the information tomorrow.

It might take me a little bit longer to do some things, but I’m not about to let my anxiety to stop me. There are so many things in life that I want to do and I don’t want to stop because I’m feeling anxious. I know there are going to be times where it does get the best of me, heck it gets the best of me a lot, but it’s not going to stop me. Even if something takes a hundred tries, or if I have to pick up the phone and put it down a few times before I’m not going to let this win. Today just justified that I can accomplish something great  a simple everyday task that makes me anxious if I set my mind to it. If I can do it, so can you.

XOXO,

Mary.

 

Hello fellow bloggers or readers that suffer from anxiety. I’m trying to a post on how to explain anxiety to those who don’t experience it and how they should handle someone having a panic attack. If you have any advice on this I’m trying to compile a list, so if you want email me at marysaverageadventures@gmail.com please it would be really helpful! You can stay completely anonymous as well.

 

Your Problem is NOT Mine.

I’m starting really late, and it’s odd because I really want to write but I was having a hard time trying to figure out what to write about, I guess after 230 some posts ideas start to run thin. Well I have ideas, I just don’t really feel like writing them, ya know? Bummer. Well at least for me it is.

Today at work, I had a problem with one of the men that works overnight and it really got me thinking that someone’s personal problems should not interfere with my life. He has time management problems which means I’m supposed to do his dishes before I leave, even if it means I have to stay late (which I’m not about to do) but he’s taking away my PERSONAL time and that couldn’t make me more livid. This leads me to say, your personal problem is NOT mine and therefore it should not become mine because trust me buddy, that’s not going to go very well for you.

I think this is a topic that really affects a lot of people too. There are so many people out there who are too self obsessed that they let their own problems become everyone else’s to manage and that’s really not okay to do. It really bothers me that because someone doesn’t know how to manage their own problems it affects other’s lives and takes away seconds/minutes/hours/days from others. Unless someone signs up as a therapist or psychologist or someone signs up or offers to help, no one should dump their personal problems on someone else.

For example, some people have very small bladders, should not have to be in cars with people with large bladders (sorry pal). Everytime they have to stop to pee they are taking ten minutes from the person who doesn’t have to pee. That’s not quite fair. I mean that’s kind of a bad example but it’s very easy to understand.

Piece of advice to all of you, if you are incapable of time management once you pass the age of 25-30  you should probably live in your parents basement the rest of your life and never work because all you’re going to do is inconvenience someone else who will go home and write a pissed of blog post about you. To be honest, I’m not annoyed about doing his dishes, I’m annoyed that he doesn’t ask and just expects us to do them for him when it’s his job, he’s just being lazy. He has a ten hour shift to do at most 20 dishes and yet he depends on the people who are nearly done to do them for him and that’s not okay in my book. Thank goodness I’m down to two days a month now because I don’t know how much longer I could take that place full time.

XOXO,

Mary.

Manners

Working in the foodservice industry for three years now, I have not only seen why I (personally) need to attend college, but I’ve seen why manners are so important and why everyone should learn them. So today I decided that we should do a quick lesson on parents because who knows who may stumble upon this.

  • “Hello, how are you?” “Get me….” Excuse me but telling me to get you something is not a response to how are you, it doesn’t waste  your day away by saying “I’m fine” or even “Okay”.
  • Say thank you. If I give you something, yes I understand that you paid for it, still say thank you, it’s polite.
  • Say excuse me. If you need to get somewhere and someone is in your way, say excuse me. Don’t just push your way around, or squeeze in, say excuse me. It’s not that hard, and then it will be easy for you and the person you are trying to squeeze by.
  • Say sorry. It seems that because I am “lower” in any situation than someone, whether this is at school (I argued with at teacher in high school about this) or at work, if you someone views themself as better than you they suddenly lose the ability to apologize  which isn’t right. If you are in the wrong you can always apologize.

These are just basic manners that some people seem to forget. Keep these in mind the next time you are engaging with someone in the foodservice, or anywhere for that matter. I am always shocked at how rude people can be.

XOXO,

Mary.