How Anxiety Feels to Me

So as I’m writing this I’m about to have a panic attack and I’m not sure why, so why not write it all down and share it with you guys so I can better explain it. This is hard to write because I’m shaking so badly, my arms are tingling, my eyes are swelling up with tears, my lungs feel like they can’t get enough air. Soon I might start shaking uncontrollably, sob, or if I’m lucky it will just stop.  Then once that’s over I’ll feel so tired to the point where I can hardly keep my eyes open. The longer it takes me to write this, the more uncomfortable I get. The hair tie that has been on my wrist all day, just had to e thrown onto my desk because the tightness of it finally got to me. I feel like I have to take deep breaths just to get air into my lungs. The little noises my roommate is making with some sort of box or something is driving me insane. The fact that noise is only coming out of one of my earbuds is becoming more and more noticeable. I’m scratching at my skin to because suddenly it’s too tight. I’m ripping at my hang nails in between sentences because the extra skin is driving me crazy. My bush like hair is tickling my face and I’m wondering how long it’s going to be until I have to put it up. The bathroom stall doors keep closing and slamming and it’s starting to affect my concentration. I can tell by now that it’s not going to get any better anytime soon. My uneven breathing pattern is starting to bother me, the fact that my headphone strand is touching m skin is driving me crazy. More tears are swelling up in my eyes, but I’m growing tired, so maybe that means it’s almost over. Anything that has bothered me all day is currently being amplified in my head. The longer I sit here the more I want to go to bed. The little red lines underneath the word “earbuds” is all I can see on this page. I don’t know what else to put here because my mind is getting cloudier, the shaking is worsening, my chest is getting tighter, and I can’t focus on the words anymore. So I thought maybe I could give you an extra post today because this happened. I’m not sharing this anywhere besides here because I don’t need Facebook and Twitter knowing about how bad this is.

XOXO

Mary

No trivia since this is the second post of today.

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5 thoughts on “How Anxiety Feels to Me

  1. gettingthroughanxiety February 5, 2014 / 11:18 pm

    Perhaps you are simply over-thinking or something happened that you are trying to avoid so you are concentrating on things that one usually does not focus on. Try thinking about something you enjoy or do something you enjoy. Try talking to someone; it might help. I sthis your first panic attack?

    • Mary February 6, 2014 / 10:18 pm

      No it’s not my first. It happens frequently.

  2. gettingthroughanxiety February 7, 2014 / 11:42 am

    I’m sorry to hear that. I know how hard it can be. You’re more than welcome to check out my blog.

    • Mary February 7, 2014 / 11:52 pm

      I will do so, thank you.

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