Job Searching is Work, NOT Luck.

I walked across the stage at graduation with the knowledge that within the next month I would be starting a full-time job using the diploma they were about to hand me. I was told a multitude of phrases when I told people, family, close friends, and all of my mentors were very congratulatory, they knew how hard I had been working towards getting a job post-graduation. My roommates knew that I spent most of my free time applying for jobs and going on interviews that lead nowhere. On top of my school work (and work) applying for jobs was essentially a full-time gig for me.

Acquaintances, random people who felt obliged to ask me what I was doing post-graduation were less congratulatory and were far more likely to tell me how lucky I was. “You know not very many people graduate with a job lined up, you’re quite lucky,” was a response I got quite often. Let me tell you, luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. I had worked my butt off for 17 years in school, and I wanted something to show for it, more than a piece of paper. I worked extremely difficult to get a job- it wasn’t easy but you can do it.

Here are my tips for your job search:

  • Start sooner rather than later- it’s better to start early and know early then start late and no have anything lined up.
  • If it says 3-5 years experience and you’re just graduating college, apply anyway. Use your experience from school, internships, etc.
  • The worst that can happen is they say no. Trust me- you can get really far and they’ll say no and it’ll SUCK, but then you’ll get a different job and be fine. I know from experience.
  • Networking is important, knowing people helps, but at the end of the day, you need to sell yourself. Know your strengths and how you can help a company grow, that’s what will get you far.
  • Ask for help, see if your connections know of any places hiring or know of people that are top rated in your industry that can give you advice.

Work hard to work hard, but if you do something you love it’ll be worth it.

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Dating Diaries: The End?

I started a series in the mindset that I would be trying online dating, hopeful, but not expectant of anything. Well shortly after, I fell for someone and I wanted to keep it to myself, it was new, I don’t fall often but when I do I fall hard. I felt giddy like a school girl. I’m sure you can assume it ended. It ended for exactly the reason I wrote about in my second dating diaries post, plus he didn’t know what he wanted.

I did what I normally do when a guy ends things (or pretty much makes me do it) I hop on an online dating site. I made it about four days this time around when I realized how hurt I actually was. I was at work and honestly had a little bit of a melt down. Was it fair for me to talk to boys that were nice to me when I was so unemotionally available? Was it fair for me to make fun of them to their faces unbeknownst to them? No, none of that was fair. So I deactivated my accounts. I said goodbye to two: two that I was supposed to go on dates with this weekend. That’s what did it. Two dates in one weekend, there was no way I would get through one let alone two, so I said goodbye, wished them well.

So why is this the end of dating diaries? Well, it’s not really, it’s just how I’m not dating anymore. When I’m ready I’ll come back; when I’m ready I’ll spill all the juicy gossip of how gross guys are on dating apps.

I think this little mini-heartbreak has taught me a lot. It’s taught me that I know what I want, and I shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t. It’s taught me that if someone else is afraid of where it’s going I should be as well. It’s taught me that I can be alone and be okay. It’s also taught me that I shouldn’t let my friends set me up with people because parties from now on might be a little awkward.

Now, I’m going to take myself, pour all of the love I have into hobbies and side hustles. My rebrand will be done before I go to Ohio, and everything will be ready for BloggyCon (anyone else going?!). It’s time for me to focus on me and everything I want out of my own life before I try mixing someone else’s in. So for now, I’m saying goodbye to dating diaries, and hello to something else, who knows what!

When’s the last time your heart was broken? Was it full-blown or just a little tear?

Dating Diaries: Waiting Until Marriage

Family who reads my blog– please do not feel obligated by any means to read this post as I will be talking about sex quite candidly.

This is one of the hardest blog posts I’ve ever had to write because it’s such an unpopular choice that I have made. I don’t know when I made the conscious decision to do so, it’s just something that I decided I was going to do: I am going to wait until I’m married to have sex.

This makes dating complicated. We live in an extremely sexualized world. There are apps people use for the sole purpose of finding someone to have sex with. Then there’s me, making the extremely unpopular decision to wait. So why have I decided to keep the promise I’ve made to myself? To be quite honest, the decision started because I’m religious but I’m no longer doing it because of that. It is one part because it weeds out a lot of really shitty guys. If he gets annoyed about your wait to want or even tries to convince you to do otherwise you know he’s not even worth the slightest amount of time.

Aside from the benefits of weeding the shits out, it’s still not an easy conversation to have with anyone. There never seems to be a right time or place to blurt out “I’m a virgin and I’m staying like that until my wedding night.” In the past, I’ve found it easiest to say while intoxicated, but that’s just really not bright because it’s more than that. It revolves around boundaries and decisions that you have to be grown up enough to talk about. It’s  not fun, but it’s important.

Here’s my advice to anyone sitting down to have the conversation, just do it. I usually start by saying, “I really like you and I hope this isn’t going to change anything, but I’m waiting to have sex until I’m married.” After that, it’s hopefully a conversation, or at least he’s respectful of your choice. Every now and again you might meet someone who has the same plan, but for me, it’s been few and far between. It’s only impacted a relationship once or twice, but if I’m being honest I like to wait for them to get at least a little attached. The only downside to that is I also get attached. The sooner the better, but it’s also important for you to go with what you are comfortable with.

I’m not writing this post for other people to make the same choice that I have. It’s hard and it’s not for everyone. Due to my anxiety and severe commitment but also extreme attachment issues, it wouldn’t be smart for me to do. So I’m doing what I can for my Lord by saving myself, but that’s not all of it. It’s so much more than that.

What are your thoughts? Any other waiters out there? How do you have the conversation? One, a few, ongoing?

Dating Diaries: “Costco Sunglasses”

 

So I’m dating again. As you probably know, I hate dating. It’s the worst. But alas, I would like a boyfriend because one day I’d like to get married and have a family. However, it’s not going real great so far so I thought I would start a new series about dating*. I like to consider myself fairly low maintenance when it comes to men, I don’t want to be paid for (example A bought my own coffee), I’m fine making decisions for myself, and I don’t require excessive amounts of attention, all I ask is for them to be upfront with me.

This afternoon I went on a first date. Personally, I thought it went well. I did a lot to prepare, got a new outfit (okay I wanted an excuse for a new outfit), shaved my legs, used a facemask, did my makeup very well. To be honest, most of that was just needed as some mental self-care. Went to meet him at a local coffee shop, he was late and the wait at the place was 30 minutes so we walked to another. We sat in that coffee shop for almost two hours. Then, we walked all over downtown for nearly 3 hours. By the end of the date, it was nearly 5:30. He walked me to the car and said he would definitely text me with plans for another encounter. Well, he did.

However, he said that he didn’t think that we would be good romantically. THEN WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU LET ME GET BLISTERS WHILE WE WALK AROUND FOR THREE HOURS.

Hindsight, I definitely agree that we wouldn’t be good romantically agree. I mean, he showed up in plaid cargo shorts, what the boys in elementary school would wear! Add onto that his Costco sunglasses, he would need a little fashion change, and that’s coming from me who rarely matches. I realize this is something that makes me sound extremely shallow, and that there’s something wrong with all Costco sunglasses, or Costco in general and there isn’t. However, I think the look of the sunglasses, the fact that they were worn inside, and the plaid cargo shorts showed a level of immaturity that I’m passed at this point in my life.

I also had to push all of the conversations, ask so many questions, and just try hard. I definitely am just tired of being single and wanted it to work very badly. However, still a little offended he waited to text me that it wasn’t going to work out. We spent five hours together, plenty of time to tell me!

Be honest people. Dating attempt one: check.

*This segment is the first of an ongoing series about my life dating. I will go into things like waiting until marriage, what I’m looking for in a potential husband, as well as delving into my dates.

Weekend Coffee Share: New Apartment

If we were having coffee we would be sitting in my unmade bed (the sheets are in the dryer) with Leslie Knope, my new cat. If we were having coffee, I would probably make you help me move my dresser out of the living room and into my new room, once we finished our coffees of course

If were having coffee I would talk too much because I’ve been alone in my apartment for two days with only my cat to talk to. I would tell you all about my new job and how I’m so excited to dive in with the real work this week.

If we were having coffee, after I went on and on about my job, I might ask you how you’re doing and what’s new with you, but it is sometimes more like me just to keep talking about myself. So then I would go on and on about how this blogging transition has been hard for me and content creating has become difficult. Not because I don’t like it, but because I’ve just been in a rut with my thoughts and ideas. I’m either too ambitious or too underwhelming.

If we were having coffee, I would probably give your the mini tour of my new apartment, and it would definitely be a mini tour. I’d tell you how excited I am to have an office, but since we’re still unpacking it’s pretty much unusable. I would also show you the coffee maker so we could make a second cup. Then we would go back to my bare bed because the dryer takes forever.

If we were having coffee, I would ask you what I should wear to work tomorrow, and then tell you about my idea for a photo shoot of different work outfits but I lack a photographer, since that is what I do for others. I would also tell you about all the ideas for that I would need help to accomplish which is sometimes very frustrating.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you for advice– what should I do with my life? Like yes, I have a job and I love it, but what should I be doing with the rest of my time, certainly not just watching Netflix and coloring like I have been. I just want to know what’s next.

If we were having coffee and our time was up, I would walk you to the door and thank you for coming. “I’ll see you next weekend my friend.”

Weekend Coffee Share

If we were having coffee you’d be sitting on the other side of the couch at the home I babysit at every Sunday. We would be watch “13 Reasons Why” and I would be ranting about how much I hate boys and I just want to meet a nice man that treats me right and how I hope so badly it’s the one that’s talking to me now. Then I’d tell you that I don’t think it is, which makes me feel conflicted as conflicted can be.

If we were having coffee I’d be sipping my second big cup of the day. Trying to get rid of the headache, the tiredness I’ve been feeling from barely sleeping the past few weeks, and most importantly, just trying to enjoy the taste and calming down.

If we were having coffee I’d pour you a nice big cup. We would talk about all of the things that have been bothering me. My blog, boys, jobs, everything. I would vent, and then let you vent. I’d probably interrupt because that’s probably my worst habit of all. I’d complain about not knowing what to make for dinner, my diet, and then I would whisper “I’ll probably just go to Subway again.”

If we were having coffee, I’d let you know that I think it’s weird the baby has been sleeping for three hours, but I wouldn’t complain. Trust me I’m thankful. I would then go on to show you pictures of how cute he is, and how thankful I am for all of the wonderful families have allowed me to watch over their children this year.

If we were having coffee, I would probably go on a feminist rant, tell you about how much I love social media, and how I wish my blog would thrive. I’d have a lot to say, but at the same time, nothing at all. I’d open up like I used to on my blog. Before I went public with it, before I was applying for jobs, and before when I didn’t have many friends. I’d share my worries, my thoughts, and my doubts.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you if you want another cup but pour you another no matter what the answer was. The truth is, on Sundays I get to a point where I desperately need to talk to an adult so I wouldn’t really want you to leave.

If we were having coffee, I’d have to eventually excuse myself to get the crying baby and I’d thank you for joining me. I’d invite you back next week and be so happy for my friendships with you.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee?

Taking Care of my Anxiety

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If you’ve been around for a while, and I mean like at least a year because 2016 has the year that I don’t blog really, you know that I have struggled with anxiety for quite some time now. I got back to school this year and I couldn’t sleep through the night. I didn’t have too much going on yet, but I would still wake up in a panic thinking I had slept through my alarm or forgot to do an assignment but really I had handed in the assignment the day before and it was 3 am so I obviously hadn’t slept through my alarm.

Seeking Help

It was interrupting my life in a way that it had never done so before. My school (and I believe most schools do) offers a free counseling center for students. Since I am a senior graduating in May, I figured this was the time to start going while I still had the opportunity to go for free. I got in nearly right away and had an appointment with a woman who is now my therapist. On the first day, since I had gone so longer trying to regulate it myself through giving up caffeine, breathing techniques and a variety of other solutions I had found on the internet that did not work, she said I should consider talking to the psychiatrist.

Considering Medication

For the longest time this is something that I heavily opposed. I did not want to be medicated, I didn’t want a medicine to regulate my mood, but I wasn’t sleeping and that was effecting me as a person and I couldn’t do it that way anymore. So alas, I decided to pay him a visit. At our first session he said that I was a good candidate for medication and to be quite honest, I was really just tired of fighting my anxiety on a daily basis. The way he explained it to me is that my brain is like an accidental bicycle path. One person ran through the grass, so another person did, and then another, and eventually there was no more grass there and that’s what my anxiety did to my brain. The medication he said would be like the grass seed, helping the grass to grow, it would help my brain to return to its original form almost.

Going into the appointment I wasn’t really sure the route I was going to take. It was a lot to think about, but the exhaustion I felt from being anxious all the time was overwhelming. By the end of the appointment I decided to try medication to see if it would change anything in me.

The Battle in My Brain

I kept going to therapy, every week like clockwork. I would talk to her about my issues with newspaper, friends, and other concerns and fears that I face in life. It has been extremely beneficial to have a third-party listen and give input to what I have to say without bias other than to make me feel like I’m not crazy. However, there was still that little voice in the back of my head telling me everything I was doing wrong, making me feel like I couldn’t do a lot of things, and really just messing with me still. I have a very busy schedule right now and it has made it easier to push to the back of my mind, however, it was still there. The panic attacks lessened and I was less anxious, but any downtime that I had, I reverted back to my old ways of anxious feelings and emotions.

Back to the Psychiatrist

After a month on being on my medication, and not having the improvements that should have occurred while taking it, the psychiatrist suggested that I up my dosage. While I was hesitant at first, I am so glad that I decided to increase it. The past few days, I’ve barely felt anxious and I’ve been very happy. With the last dosage I was inexplicably happy when I would forget to take my medication which really made me want to go off of it. However, by increasing it, the past two days especially, I have been on cloud nine. I have felt extremely positive about my life. Of course it’s not perfect, I still get anxious and annoyed when I’m in a situation that I’m uncomfortable in, but it is light years away from where I used to be even just a few weeks ago.

The Take Away.

Please talk to someone if you are suffering with mental illness. My own anxiety kept me from going for so long. I was afraid of what they would say, but at the end of the day they aren’t there to judge you, they’re there to help you. If you are in college, chances are it’s probably free and it will be extremely beneficial to your mental health. Don’t wait until you are at your breaking point to go. If you in any way, shape, or form feel like your mental health is suffering– talk to someone! Chances are you will feel so much better.

I’ve decided to share this because I can only hope it will encourage someone else to do something about their mental health situation. At the end of the day, I don’t want this to be a secret, everyone close to me knows, I put it in the newspaper, because it is an amazing resource that we have readily available as college students. Medication is up to the individual, I hope that this is not a lifetime thing I need to do, however, if it will keep me from being anxious, at this point I don’t care. I want to feel better, and I want everyone suffering from mental illness to feel better.

At the end of the day you need to surround yourself with positive people who care and love you. A strong support system will really help you get through anything, even if that’s a little encouragement to talk to someone. So to my personal support system– online and off, thank you.

Take care of yourself.

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July Birchbox

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So I know this about the same time I posted the June Birchbox, however, I’ve had this and have been suing the products for quite sometime. I haven’t been good at keeping up with much of anything but here we go.

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So this month I actually had six items in my Birchbox, and I’m not sure if it’s because two of the items are like a duo or if because I chose which mascara I wanted. I guess I’ll find out next month because I did choose one of the items for that as well.

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The first thing in the July box is the amika Perk Up Dry Shampoo. It is supposed to have an Obilphica scent, to be honest, I don’t know what that means and I’m too lazy to Google it. However, I do think it smells slightly better than most dry shampoos. It says full size ranges from $10 to $24 and I don’t know how to do that conversion to how much this one is worth. It’s a good travel size and if I go anywhere it’ll be good for that. I already have a dry shampoo though so maybe it’s something I’ll consider in the future after that’s gone.

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This is  COOLA SPF 50 Sport sunscreen in the scent mango. It smells not like sunscreen, but I don’t know if it would be a mango scent. Anyway, it’s organic so that’s cool. I only used it once and not when I was at the beach because there isn’t enough for my whole body. So I’m going to say it works, but the full size is $32 for 5 oz, which in my opinion is not worth it for sunscreen, like Target brand is good enough for me at that cost.

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So I think these are meant to be like a duo, but I don’t know. The bottle on the left is the Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate which is supposed to protect against signs of aging for a radiant complexion.  You only really need a very small amount of it so it really looks about the same as it does in the picture. I’m at the age where everyone says you need to start using anti-aging products because appearently women aren’t beautiful if they don’t look young so you have to start fighting when you are young. Anyway, it’s fine. I don’t have any strong feelings for or against it. The full size is $67 for 30 mL.

The other item is the Shiseido Ultimune Eye Power Infusing Eye Concentrate which helps blur out wrinkles and dark circles and it really did help get rid of the dark circles, however the sample was so small and not good for multiple uses. I was really surprised. The full size is $65 for 15 mL. I will probably not purchase either of these items because they are just too far out of my price range.

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This was definitely one of my favorite items of the box and I did pick it. It is the Smashbox X-Rated Mascara. The mascara I have been using separates my eyelashes really well but this one adds so much volume that I didn’t even realize could improve my eyelashes. I’m always afraid of them being too long since I wear glasses everyday but this is perfect for me. The full size is $22 and I honestly might purchase it. I can use my Birchbox points so I will really consider it. My only complaint about the product is that it’s very liquidy but I think that helps it stay on better and even out over the lashes.

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This is the last product in the box and also one of my favorites. It is the Supergoop! Daily Correct CC Cream SPF 35 in light medium. I’ve actually gotten so many uses out of this product.  The full size sells for $32 which is slightly above my price range for such products so we’ll see if I decide to buy it ever. It’s definitely like on the back burner for one day when I have money to spend on things like this. It has a lot more coverage than I would’ve thought.

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That’s what I got in my July Birchbox! What did you get in yours? I’m pretty sure I like this one more than June. Also, if you’re interested in subscribing for $10 a month for some great high quality products, check out this link https://www.birchbox.com/invite/marysavrgadventures!

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My First Birchbox!

 

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So I’ve been trying to get more into beauty and makeup recently. I also like to get things in the mail, so I thought maybe I should sign up for a subscription box, what’s the worst that could happen? I hate it and cancel. I did my research, and signed up for Birchbox. Birchbox is all sample sized products, however, for someone like me who is allergic to a lot of products and who doesn’t do their makeup everyday this is honestly kind of perfect. I am always using products way past their expiration date so I think that this is really just a great option. Also, if I love the products, I can review them, get points, and then use those points to buy the full priced versions.

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I was actually surprised how pretty the box was itself. However, I later found out that I did not have tissue paper in mine like most people do, so I found that interesting.

If you are interested in Birchbox for yourself use my code!

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These are the contents of my box (individual reviews below). I personally did not recongize any of the brands, however, I don’t have expansive knowledge on these things so I don’t know if they are really big brands.

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This dr. brandt PoreDermabrasion in 0.25oz. The full size is just over 2 oz, which sells for $58, meaning this sample is about $7.25. However, I think this is about one use, maybe I’ll get two out of it.  The purpose of the product is to unclog pores and refine the appearance of them.  It can only be used twice a week max. That detail alone concerns me. However, I did use it. My skin felt softer. I didn’t notice that my pores seemed any smaller though. I would not purchase it though. It was a nice sample, not worth $58.

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This is the LOC One & Done Shadow Stick in Peachy Sheen, which is from the Birchbox brand. It’s ceaseless and waterproof, and it’s definitely both of those things. This is the full size and sells on the website for $10. I would probably purchase this. I really like how it feels and how it lasts. It’s waterproof, however, it didn’t require a lot of effort to take off at the end of the day. I didn’t need an eyelid primer or with this, it’s a great product. Personally, I would probably pick a different color though. (Swatch at the end)

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This is the PARLOR by Jeff Chastain Moisturizing & Repairing Shampoo. The full-size retails for $22 at 8 oz, the sample is 1 oz, making it worth $2.75. It’s sulfate free and it’s supposed to soften and strengthen your hair. It smells like a hair salon, which is fine by me.  I’ll use it if I go away on any weekend trips, but I wouldn’t purchase it. I like it less than my regular shampoo. There was nothing wrong with it, but also nothing special if I’m being honest.

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This product is the Supergoop! Defense Refresh Setting Mist SPF 50. The three-in-one setting spray sets makeup, controls oil and has UV protection. The full-size retails for $28 at 3.4 oz. The sample size is 0.5 oz, making it worth about $4.12. I think I need to use it again before I make a real review. I think I needed to get a better coverage of my face and not walk a mile in 90 degree weather. However, inside it worked great even when I was sweating a little bit. I’ve heard complaints about the smell, it didn’t bother me at all and I’m usually really sensitive to smell.

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This is the last product in my box, and it’s The Beauty Crop PBJ Smoothie Stick in the color Raisin the Roof. This is a full-sized product worth $14.95 for 0.009 oz. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it does twist up. I thought that when I swatched it that it was going to be very sheen and a dark shade of pink. However, for me it’s almost like a nude lip as well as pretty matte. I really like this product and I would consider buying it in other shades.

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Here are the swatches in case you were curious, the shade on the left is the LOC and on the right, the PBJ Smoothie Stick.

What are your favorite subscription boxes? Or what did you get in your Birchbox this month?

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Lush Winter Haul/ Update

After the whole Lush debacle, I got my money back a month later after buying the products. As much as a headache the whole process was, I love the products I purchased.

I purchased the Santa’s lip scrub which I’ve always wanted to try, but the original price of $9.95 always seemed to be a bit much so with the BOGO sale I figured it was worth it. I find that it really works, however, you need to use it quite often, but I’ve still hardly made a dent in mine after over a month of uses so it’s worth it.

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The other Christmas product I purchased was the Salt and Peppermint Bark for $9.95. I have mixed feelings about it. It’s just for exfoliating, there’s nothing really for moisturizing in it, like the Buffy bar I have. It’s very hard to use when it’s dry. I find it much easier to use in the shower, however that means the size goes down a lot quicker. It does work very well at getting the dead skin off. It looks pretty gross in the picture because I don’t know what happened  I don’t know if I would repurchase it.

I also tried the Santa Baby lip tint for $8.95. It has a very nice red color; however, don’t get it on your skin unless you want some Miranda Sings lips. It has stained around my lips as I was leaving for work, which was not fun. I also find it hard to get to stay on my lips. I don’t know if it’s too cold or something and it just doesn’t go on smoothly. I think it’s like one of those things that you might want to use an actual make up brush with.

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I also got Fairy Dust for $6.95. It’s a sparkle powder for special occasions. I don’t know what special occasions I’ll use it for yet, but I love it and it smells amazing. I didn’t actually pay full price for the Christmas products, they were buy one get one free.

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I also tried the Soak and Float shampoo bar which I’m still trying to figure out my feelings on. I like the simplicity of it and the idea. However, my scalp is still very dry after a month or so of using it. I look forward to the summer when the air isn’t as dry and I can try one for curly hair. I think to get better results I need a better conditioner as well.

My favorite thing from this purchase has been the Cup O’ Coffee face mask. It’s the perfect exfoliating mask. I’m in love with it. I only use it once a week on Fridays or Saturdays 15 minutes before I get in the shower so it’s easier to take off. It makes my skin feel so soft. It’s probably one of the things I would most recommend from Lush.

So these were the purchases I made right after Christmas, I suppose it’s only time now to upload this. To be fair, it did take a while to get, return, try and develop my opinions on the things.

Did you get anything at their after Christmas sale?

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