How to be Mary

becoming mary

I’m not saying anyone wants to be me or anything, but here are some tips on how to be me if you would like to be.

  1. Always get dressed in the dark. That way incase anyone asks “What’d you do get dressed in the dark?” you can always say yes.
  2. Don’t brush your hair.
  3. Always say yes, especially when you should say no but you feel obligated to something anyway.
  4. Sit for hours staring at an empty word document waiting for something to fill the pages you need.
  5. Finger paint.
  6. Get really frustrated at everything and try not to cry.
  7. Email everyone in a group project a million times a day.
  8. Apply for so many jobs.
  9. Try super hard to blog and fail.
  10. Try and find a different t-shirt to wear, but end up wearing one of ten you always wear.
  11. Ask a million pointless questions to see if your friends get annoyed. If they don’t or don’t show it, they’re really good friends.
  12. Talk about how much you hate washing your hair, and see how long you can go without washing it before you’re disgusted. It’s never more than a day, keep that in mind.
  13. Think about and plan everything for the future. Do nothing to achieve that.
  14. Internally perpetually complain about the school’s wifi, when at home yell about how the school wifi is so much better.
  15. Think about how much you want to go to Target, go to Target and either buy things you don’t need and forget what you need or just don’t buy anything at all.
  16. Think about and tweet at IHOP constantly because that’s how much you love them.
  17. Weigh your options for the future and relook all the freakout class planning schedules previously made.
  18. Craft as much as you can as often as you can.
  19. Complain about everyone who doesn’t do their job properly, do it for them.
  20. Outwardly be self-confident so people think you are, no matter how fat you feel that day.
  21. Avoid real pants as often as possible.
  22. Don’t talk to any guys, but complain when no guys like you.
  23. Constantly remind yourself to breathe.
  24. Watch a lot of bad movies but find all the great qualities within them.
  25. Spend too much time on the internet doing nothing.

This is a joke post, I mean I hope you don’t take my advice. Reminder to always be  your own person and never let anyone change who you are.



2 responses to “How to be Mary”

  1. Mary,
    You’re way too hard on yourself! I did, however, find some of the things you said funny! For example, I liked how you mentioned staring at a word document and waiting for it to get filled. It kind of reminds me of when I was in school and didn’t know what else to write for a paper! I also liked how you mentioned looking for a shirt to wear that you haven’t worn in a while but then sticking with the usual ones. Whenever I clean through my clothes, I tell myself to keep certain ones and actually wear them, but it never seems that I wear them.

    I think you do a great job of blogging and I think you’re really helpful. Also, not to be sappy, but remember that the things that you don’t like about yourself don’t make you who you are. I love your advice at the end!

    1. Thank you, I appreciate your comments!

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