The quality of posts lately has been absolute crap and I am apologizing for that right now. I’ve been in a real pissy mood because of the aftermath (I can’t really explain because it has to do with work and my boss and a bunch of crap like that) of burning my hand, and I’m afraid that this has definitely impacted the clarity of my thoughts and ability to write well. I’m one of those people who always let stupid little things like that ruin my day, and I have now let it ruin three days so that’s fun. Let’s just say I almost quit on the spot on Saturday and the only thing stopping me is my better than minimum wage pay and the fact that I need money all keeps  me there. Today I am apologizing for my crap posts and I’m going to give you a better post because I’m writing it (mostly) before work so I’m not in a terrible mood.

Yesterday #YesAllWomen was trending on twitter. This was used to promote the rape culture and how we shouldn’t be teaching women to defend themselves, but we should be teaching men to not rape. Before I get into my thoughts and opinions on this I’m just going to give you some of the tweets that I found just by searching the hashtag on twitter.

To be honest, yes I think it’s important that we teach men and women not to rape, however, are we teaching murders how not to murder? No, if we’re worried about that we buy guns, take self-defence classes.  So I’m not saying that we should stop teaching women about how to prevent rape because there will always be deviant people, but that doesn’t mean in school we shouldn’t talk to boys about boundaries and what no means.

I think we also need to teach people that it is NEVER  the fault of the woman who was raped. A women should be able to wear whatever she wants in public, if she wants to wear a bikini to the store, to each their own, if she wants to wear a dress that goes to her ankles, to each their own. It doesn’t matter what she is wearing, unless you asked her if she wanted to have sex and she said yes, it is not her fault. Also, if you ask her that and she’s intoxicated, it’s not the same thing as saying yes.

I believe schools should teach more of what rape actually is rather than just teaching that it can happen to everyone. I mean it’s more than just men raping women, it is possible for men to be raped, I think people need to know that. It should be taught not only how to protect yourself, but what else other than “no” means no. If someone is unsure about sex in any relationship or hookup situation it’s best to just say know because “blurred lines” do not mean “yes” it means talk about it.

Just because you are in a relationship or even marriage does not mean you owe someone sex. Ever. If your personal decision is to wait until marriage, wait until the third date, or whatever your decision is don’t let someone else change it or pressure you into something else. Also, don’t try and pressure someone to change their mind either. Don’t try to make blurred lines. If you are in a situation that you don’t want to be in say NO. Scream it if you have to, no matter how many times you have had sex before you don’t have to have it again. Once you say no and someone ignores your wishes that is rape, no matter their relation to you.

If you think you have been in a sexual abusive relationship or are or you have been sexually abused here are some helpful resources:

• America– This site is really good if you’re at home because at the bottom you can click leave this page and it redirects you to Yahoo, making it easier to hide if necessary.
• Internationally– This site has a directory of every country and their resources. So you can go here, find your country and find how to report it.

I hope that if you need help you seek it. Thanks for reading my views and opinions on all of this!

XOXO,

Mary.