The Five Year Plan.

I don’t have a five year plan. I don’t even have a one year plan. I like the idea of the five year plan though, it’s a great concept. In five years I should hypothetically have my shit together, I highly doubt that will happen but that’s where I should be in five years. Five years from now I’ll be TWENTY FIVE! That’s really old, at least to me. My mom was 24 when she had me so that puts a lot into perspective on my side. I don’t want to have a child within the next five years. I don’t want to be married within the next five years. According to Mary Time I shouldn’t be getting married for at least another seven years, Mary Time will be explained another time.

I’m not a free spirited person, I’m very much a constricted person.  I wish I was a free spirited person because then the lack of a five year plan wouldn’t worry me so much. To me, there’s just so much in the world to experience and try that I’m at a loss for what to do next. For example, I want to study abroad next fall but I also am afraid of missing out here. I can’t let that stop me though, but at the same time I don’t know where to go. It’s a very complex up in my brain. So that stops my one year plan and holds it up a bit. Which makes me interested in a summer program or something along those lines. There’s a lot of things I have to think about.

I’m also very single. Like there’s not a man on my radar besides an attractive person I see on my way to class. If I was in a serious relationship I’m sure a goal of mine would be to get married within the next five years, but that’s not me or the position I’m currently in. For me to get married I would like to be dating the man for at least five years prior to marriage so I will not be getting married for at least another six years.

Currently I would like to consider myself in the selfish years. The next five years are for me, and if a man wants to enter my life he is more than welcome to do so, but for now these are the years for myself. I don’t have to report to anyone but myself. After I graduate college in two and a half years I have a lot of time to work on myself. I suppose I could currently be working on it but right now I still have responsibilities.

The point of a five year plan is to set up goals and have ambitions and an idea of what you’re going to do for the next five years. Shout out to the people who have five year plans, but an even bigger shout out to the people who can’t even manage a one year plan like myself.

There’s a greatness in a five year plan but there is also something really special about the endless opportunities of the lack of one. I’m rather excited that I can have endless opportunities and  experiences without the idea  of goals and expectations that I created for myself looming over my head.



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