As a woman there are a million and one things that tell you what you should and shouldn’t be. If you look closely at what those things are you will find that almost all of the are contradictory. I honestly don’t think the internet helps with this either. It makes me sad that everything a woman does is criticized and examined to a point where as a woman I don’t want to be looked at as a woman, I just want to be looked at as if I were a person.

It’s bikini season, right now women everywhere are dreading, or have already finished, bathing suit shopping. I feel like this is a time of the year where I see a lot of fat-shaming online. Every year it seems to get less, but there seems to be a lot of people every year telling women they shouldn’t be proud of themselves. I don’t think it’s fair to automatically deem someone unhealthy just because they’re larger. People seem to think that once we accept larger people we are accepting an unhealthy lifestyle and embracing obesity. I do not believe that’s true, we are just accepting people and not judging them based on outward appearances, so remember that when you’re at the beach this summer. I think it’s terrible that women dread this time of year, I don’t know if it’s because so many of truly don’t like to look at ourselves in swimsuits or it’s the image of what we should look like. I just wish I could go to the store, try on a bathing suit and be comfortable. Here’s the catch though, I can try on most swimsuits and be comfortable with myself, but the problem is: What are people going to think of me when I go out in this? How many people are going to think I’m too big? How many people are going to think “She shouldn’t be wearing a bikini”? and I hate that those are my thoughts, as long as I’m comfortable, shouldn’t everyone around me be fine with that too?

As a woman you are always judged, especially based on appearance. If you wear makeup you try to hard, but if you don’t you don’t try enough. If you don’t dress up you’re lazy, if you do suddenly the question is “Why are you so dressed up?” As if you need a reason to put on a skirt instead of jean or leggings in the morning.

Then bring in the boys. Oh the boys we are supposedly trying so hard to impress. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress a guy, I’m not going to sit here and type out how you should never do that because that would be super hypocritical because I definitely do that, but that’s not my main aim in life. Guys act like everything we do is in order to please them or impress them, but that’s not true and I think that idea needs to stop. Also the idea that everything women wear is for men, ie crop tops and bikini, if a man is turned on that is his problem not the women. Women do not sexualize men, why do men sexualize women?

Look at someone like Taylor Swift- always looks like she’s put together, but rumors will never stop going around about her. She’s too skinny, she dates too much, she can’t be a feminist because all of her songs about men. Here’s the difference, these aren’t always men criticizing her. This is my last and final point of this very scattered post. In order for women to be treated equally we have to be nice to each other. We can’t bash other people for what they want to do with their lives, we can’t say it’s not feminism to be a stay at home mom or dress however you want. We have to stick up for women like Caitlyn Jenner. Girls and women have to be nice to each other and respect one another if we ever want feminism to succeed and for men to be on our side.

Just some late night thoughts on feminism with Mary.