Feminist Mary on Being a Woman.


When I was driving back to school on Monday, my driver side windshield wiper started coming off so I had to pull over on the side of the turnpike to try to fix it in the rain. When I went outside, my first thought was, well this is how half the girls die on Criminal Minds, at least it wasn’t night-time.

Last year, I had a wallet with a strap that I would bring with me if I went somewhere. Yes, this was in my heyday of binge watching Criminal Minds and I was quite paranoid, but I would swing it around if anyone got too close to me so I could hit them if they got too close.

My boyfriend and I met on Tinder. This is news that I’ll address another time, however, this is something very curious to me. He never tried to find my Facebook, never had a back up plan in case I was crazy, and that’s when I realized guys don’t have to do that. I had three different plans in case something happened and I had to leave because he was crazy.

Men don’t really have to worry about a woman being a serial killer, they don’t have to worry that she will attack them. They don’t have to worry about having to jump into their car at night because someone could be waiting to grab them to harm them in some way. They don’t walk with their keys in between their fingers, knowing that it’s not going to do much good, even if someone was to attack them.

We live in a world that it’s dangerous to be a woman. The number of rapes in the US range from 300,000 (Department of Justice) to 1.3 million (CDC). These statistics could go on an on, again according to the CDC, 1 in 5 women will be raped in some capacity. According to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center, 1 in 3 girls will be sexually assaulted in their college career.  Women don’t choose these statistics, they are an unfortunate reality when you are a woman.

Because I’m a feminist I like to believe that these will change. I like to think that this generation will talk to their sons about not raping women rather than telling their daughters to be careful to not get too drunk when they go out. I like to think that more people are talking about consent and that yes is the only word that means yes. I like to think that we are changing, but why are the numbers staying the same?

It’s sad that we live in a world that I’m afraid to get out of my car on the highway, because who knows when a serial killer is going to drive by? It’s sad that we live in a world that women have to be afraid to walk alone at night. It’s just sad. I don’t understand how people can hurt each other so much.



3 responses to “Feminist Mary on Being a Woman.”

  1. A few summers ago, I interned in Washington D.C. My parents came to visit for the fourth of July and we were heading into the Capitol grounds for the annual Capitol Fourth celebration. We had to go through security to get into the grounds, which wasn’t surprising.I carry a little tube of pepper spray with me on my key ring because, as you pointedly stated above, it IS dangerous to be a woman in this day and age. The security guards were on the verge of taking my pepper spray because they thought I was a threat with it–I convinced them that I had just forgotten to take it off my key ring and I promised I wouldn’t use it during the event…but if you think about it, it’s really sad that I feel the need to carry pepper spray around with me in the first place. It’s not something I ever think to take off my key ring in the first place because, as a woman, it’s hard to trust people in today’s world, especially men who are strangers. I think the guard let me keep it because he realized I was just a young girl concerned about my own safety, but still…it seems there are more pressing issues to worry about than taking away a young woman’s tiny tube of pepper spray–namely, the point that I feel I should carry it around with me in the first place.

    Good thoughts on this piece. You bring up a lot of really important points about the status of women today. I only hope it will, indeed, change in the future.

    1. That’s crazy that they were going to take it! It’s a smart thing to carry, but I can’t believe that they would think you’d be a threat with it. Thanks for commenting!

Tell me what you want, what you really really want!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: