Leaving: Packing and Goodbyes

I write this post every year. This year it’s late. It’s also very different. I’ve already said goodbye to most people at home because, well they already left. I’m going to school next weekend to say the bulk of my goodbyes.

The past two years I was so afraid of leaving. My first year, I was nervous, I didn’t know anyone, I was essentially starting over, I was excited, but obviously a little afraid of moving out of my comfort zone. Last year, I was ready to go back, but I wasn’t ready to leave my friends at home. This year, I’ve spent a good amount of time visiting school where Logan stayed and Eric lived near by, and seeing other friends that were more local. I saw them more than I saw some people that I live within five miles of, which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just different than what I’m used to.

This year, I’m so excited to leave. Maybe because it’s because all of my friends are already gone or maybe it’s because I’m about to go on a huge adventure. Either way. I’m so ready for school this years. Goodbyes are different, they have to last a little bit longer and I’m saying it to different people, people who mean a lot to me, not to say the people I usually say goodbye to aren’t important, because they are. It’s just so different.

The packing is different too, that’s for sure. One checked bag, one carry on, and a backpack. That’s a lot less than what I bring to my dorm. My key word is consolidation. I’ve taken so much out, it’s kind of ridiculous. Like I’ll pack some stuff, and then I’ll think “What am I thinking! I don’t need half of this!” and I take it out, that’s good and bad I’m sure. At this point I’m figuring, whatever I still need I can just get there. I think I have the essentials. When I go to Hood I just pack anything I might need just in case because I like to be prepared, however, I do not have the luxury.

As I wrote this post tonight, I looked back on my old posts. Which is insane. My first post ever, in 2013 was posted to this blog August 23, but was written well before that. Last year is much more similar to now, but still so different. Things are just different. Not a bad different, a really good different.

So here’s to a good 2015-2016 school year. I’m leaving and saying goodbye (in two weeks).

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College Tips: Getting Ahead and Being Prepared

Chances are if you are currently a senior in high school you probably know whether or not you plan on attending a place of higher education be that technical school, community college, or a traditional university. If this is you, I encourage you to continue on and read this, just a few things I wish someone would have told me my senior year of high school.

  1. Get ahead in your shopping. I know, such a typical girl thing to do, but right now, there are tons of clearances! Since everyone is back at school stores like Target have deals on all of their back to school things like hampers, comforters, decor, etc., so get that while it’s on sale so you aren’t breaking the bank when all the prices are high since supplies are in demand in the summer.
  2. Use your free SAT sends. I think it’s like three, even if you don’t know where you’re going use all three, send them to random schools, send them somewhere. Might as well use them because then you have to pay and that adds up, depending on how many schools you apply to.
  3. Bring stupid things with you to college, like coloring pages and other various crafts. You’ll always find someone who likes the same things as you, plus it’s alos nice to have something relaxing to do in your free time.
  4. Extra everything. When you get your supplies, grab two of mostly everything, or bulk. You’ll run out of deodorant, you’ll run out of detergent, you’ll run out of a lot of dry stock that doesn’t expire so stock up, especially if you don’t have a car with you on campus.
  5. Take lots of pictures so you have reminders of people from home.
  6. If Command Strips are on sale, buy them. Lots of them.
  7. Leggings are real pants, buy them on sale in the spring.
  8. If you want to write letters bring addresses and STAMPS (which I need to go buy).
  9. You’ll lose friends, or more like acquaintances. It’s part of life and you’ll just lose touch with someone, and then you’ll be fine.
  10. Have fun. Have fun senior year, have fun during the summer, have fun when you get to college.

Leave your helpful tips in the comments while people are getting ready to for applications and everything!

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I’m Scared.

Yesterday I asked what my major career goal was. I don’t have one. Yesterday I was asked a question I will be and have been asked millions of times within my lifetime, yet yesterday was the first time I had nothing to say. Like I don’t know what I want to do, but I don’t have any career goals at all. Cool.

I’m tired of people telling me “a lot of people don’t know” and “you’ll figure it out” because that doesn’t mean that right at this moment I don’t feel sick everyday because I feel like I’m wasting my time. Wasting time is a huge anxiety trigger for me, wasting anything is, but especially time. Go ahead, tell me it’ll all work out but that’s not a guarantee. I’m sitting in class and I have no long term goals.

I enjoyed my internship as an experience but I honestly don’t think that I will thoroughly enjoy my life in a cubicle and I guess a goal of mine would to not be completely miserable by the time I’m thirty, and I think I might be miserable if I sit in a cubicle for the next fifty plus years. I go to class and I’m finally in classes for my major and I’m still uneasy and unsure of what I’m doing. I’m in News Writing and she’s already telling us about how many people we’re going to have to call, it takes me at least 20 minutes to make a phone call. I don’t know if I want to interview people my whole life either, trying to overcome anxiety every time I have an assignment.

I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s making me anxious and I’m afraid that I’m either wasting my time here or I’m going to end up somewhere I hate. Life scares me when I don’t have a plan. I’m not sure what I’m doing. I have no goals that go further than hobbies. I focus my energy on things like this that will probably get me nowhere. I put time into crafts, into YouTube, into silly things that will make me happy in the now, not something that’ s going to help me ten years from now. I’m lost, confused, and I have no idea what I’m doing. Most of all I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m going to end up doing nothing with my life. Afraid, that I’m going to be unhappy the rest of my days. Worried that one day I’ll look back and all that I’ve accomplished is a stable life. I want a good life, not just a stable one. I don’t want to live with regrets and I’m afraid that I’m on path that will lead me to a life with many. I know a life with zero regret is impossible at this point since I already have some, but I don’t want my whole life to be one giant regret because frankly that would just suck. Hopefully I figure it out before it’s too late.

XOXO,

Mary.

Busy Day!

Today  I made the trek to Maryland, okay like the two hour drive, but it was long. First, of course we stopped at Dunkin Donuts, and my best friend Hannah and her mom joined us which was nice since she goes to school very far away.

We got here I want to say at around 11 but I think it might have been later. I only really let my parents help me unpack my clothes so after that we went to lunch at my favorite restaurant downtown and then they dropped me off. Per usual it got emotional, but after they left I finished all of my unpacking. I didn’t let piles of stuff lay around for days like I typically do, isn’t that impressive? The only thing I have to do is hang up some pictures with the heavy duty command strips which I have to buy. Once that’s done, I’m going to do a little room tour thing, not yet, but soon.

After that I got to see my friends Rachel and Zoe that I haven’t seen since last semester. I got dinner with Zoe and then went to Rachel’s room for a little bit. Zoe came over and we watched Criminal Minds for two hours. All in all it’s been a good day, but not enough time for a good blog post.

Has anyone else returned yet? Good luck on your new semester!

XOXO,

Mary.

Am I looking forward to returning to college?

The question that I’ve been asked every day since I got home was whether or not I was looking forward to returning to college or not, and I am, but there are parts I’m not looking forward to either. I am so excited to see all of my friends, watch more Netflix, sleep better, get back to a better routine basically. At home I think it’s so easy for me to get off track and stay up late and get up early when at college I feel like I have to properly function to succeed so I focus my energy better. I also haven’t seen most of  my friends in a few months so it will be nice to see them again and catch up and hang out again. I’m also very tired of the smell of cow shit, so it will be nice to smell anything but that for a while. It’ll also be nice to be in a busier area, I like that vibe more.

The major thing that I’m not looking forward to is feeling like an outcast everywhere I go. I go to a very small school and I often feel like I just don’t share the same interests as a lot of the people that I’m even friends with at school. That’s okay and I love all of my friends, but on days when everyone is getting drunk I wish I had someone who would just rather watch Netflix and eat french fries with me instead.

College can put a pressure on just about anyone to do things they aren’t comfortable with, and for someone like myself who doesn’t necessarily let people sway their opinion I feel as though it’s hard to fit in sometimes. I don’t want to drink or party or hookup, and sometimes I feel like that means I don’t fit in. On heavy drinking nights around campus I either sit alone or go and sit with the drunk people, which is funny for a little bit but it gets old as soon as people start to get loud or sloppy.

I do love all of my friends and for the most part I am looking forward to going back to college I just can’t help but feel a little outsiderish just because I don’t want to drink, etc. I’m not going to give up my morals just because I want to fit in, that’s not who I am. Who knows what will happen with friends, maybe I’ll make some new ones this year.

XOXO,

Mary.

Leaving: Packing and Goodbyes

If the title sounds familiar you are now my favorite reader because it means one of three things, you’ve either been here from the beginning, went back and read all of my posts, or you google searched something and you were directed to these post, so I guess if your either of the first two you’re my favorites. However, I love all of you the same, so I guess they just have more brownie points right now. I’m rambling. Anyway, it’s that time a year again and as we are rapidly approaching my one year anniversary of this blog I thought why not reuse a title?

Yesterday I went dorm shopping and I realized that I have a total of two days completely off before I go back to school, and at the moment only eight evenings free, but that’s not counting all the people I need to see but haven’t set dates with yet, I have a lot to do before I leave next Saturday. We have a storage room in our basement where I just threw everything I thought I wouldn’t need for the summer so I could go through it at the end of the summer to repack it all up before I go. I did all the laundry and things like that before I put it all away, well we had a little ant problem in May/June and I guess they managed to get into my zipped bag of sheets, towels, and washcloths, so I have to rewash all of that, what fun.

After pulling out boxes, totes, “organizational pieces” I found that I really had no organization system for anything when I put everything back there. So no I did not follow my own packing tips because I procrastinated way too much to pack up in May. I have a lot to do. My goal this time is to actually be organized moving in this year so I’m not digging through totes for one little thing and instead I have it all readily available.

Goodbyes I think are starting tonight with some of my work friends. I honestly can’t believe how quickly summer has flown by. I’m seeing some other friends later this week probably for the last time, I can’t believe how many people I didn’t even get to see throughout the summer. I can’t believe how quickly time is flying bye. I can’t believe I’m packing up already. I also can’t believe I’ve only been on this blog for almost a year, not even a year. Time is blowing my mind.

Looking back at last year post is so weird, my first post, I left you guys with love, how sweet of me. I think I wrote it in the middle of the night (what’s changed?) mostly because I couldn’t sleep out of excitement and nerves. This year I’m excited to be back and out of this place, I need to get out of here really badly. Mix it up a little bit, however, I know this year is going to be the deciding points of a lot of things so that makes me a little anxious. For example, I decide my major this year (semester??), I pick a study abroad program, if it’s financially feasible and apply for scholarships for that, I’m also taking a lot more communication courses, and I’ll be finishing up all of my core requirements. After this year I’ll be halfway finished my higher education (thank goodness) but it’s already going so much faster than high school went. That’s both good and bad in my opinion, in the end either way it’ll all work out I suppose.

XOXO,

Mary.

Being Christian at a Non-Christian School

*Disclaimer* I felt the need to put a disclaimer at the beginning of this post because while writing it I feel as if I’m coming off as not as accepting as I am and I really do love all of my friends, no matter what you believe. I’m just sharing my struggles with how sometimes you need that moral connection. This is typically why I don’t like to bring my religion to my blog because I have friend of other faiths and I don’t want to feel as if they can’t be friends with me because we don’t believe the same thing. That’s not how I feel at all and I just feel the need to clarify right from the start that I’m not trying to offend anyone. If I was I wouldn’t put this here.

This is a post that’s been weighing on me for quite sometime now and I just wasn’t sure. Yet, for the past three weeks it just keeps weighing on my more and more, guess that’s God for you. Someone must need this message so I’m just going to share what my first year was like being a Christian at a school that doesn’t have any type of religious affiliation.

Growing up I went to public school, but the difference between public school in Lancaster County and the rest of the world is that it’s basically a Christian school. As you know from my post on shoving religion down people’s throats (read that here) I was often not viewed as a Christian (even though Catholics are Christians) most people shared my morals even if we didn’t have the exact same beliefs. It was always easy to find friends that didn’t drink, didn’t have sex, we just had a lot of the same morals and it was really easy just to find someone that you can agree on those sort of things with.

When I went to college I expected some shock, but I honestly did not think that a lot of people hook up and a lot of people drink. Well I was really wrong. The first Sunday, I of course found Catholic church within walking distance and I quickly noticed that I was one of the few who did this. Sunday mornings campus is dead, maybe a few people here or there, but other than some people walking back to their rooms after a night of fun, there’s not many of us heading to church at all. That’s when I knew it might be difficult and different to find people that shared the same sort of morals as myself.

I’m not opposed to hanging out with people of other religions whatsoever, that’s not what I base a friendship off of, I look for people who I can talk to and get along with, something that comes with that often is sharing morals. I did make friends at school and I love them, however the one thing that I didn’t think I would struggle with that I found that I am is dating.

Not that I haven’t talked to any straight, single guys this year, well for the most part, and I think there were two huge deterrents with the idea of even putting myself out there, with the exception that I still wasn’t over someone in my past for the whole first semester. Number one, I’m waiting for marriage. I don’t want to get too much into this, but I strongly believe that sex should be reserved for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with so that’s what I want to do, and I don’t think that’s what a lot of guys at this age want to do. This is a major place where I think going to non-religious school is hard. I hear about hook ups all the time and that’s not what I’m looking for when I talk to a guys, I’m looking for a friendship that maybe one day when I’m ready could possibly turn into something more. The second reason being I’m afraid of commitment, which does not go with my morals but that’s just the second reason.

Honestly, being a Christian at a non-Christian school can be hard but if you think of it as a test (I don’t, some do) maybe it will help. When it comes down to it find people who share some of the same morals and you’ll be able to get along. When it comes to dating, the right person will be the right person and you will do the right things for the two of you as long as you are firm in what you believe. If you ever struggle find a chaplain on campus, my school even has one! Or you can go to the church and they might even have a little support group and pastors are always willing to talk to help anyone struggling with you faith. I hope maybe I helped someone with this post, if not I guess that’s okay too. God led me to write it either way.

XOXO,

Mary.

Hello Summer and Advice for Freshman Year

Hello everyone, yes I am home. I am already failing at daily vlogging, whoops, I guess I’ll just add on today’s footage with tomorrows.  So yes finally home, thank goodness. One year down, three to go. Woohoo. Actually when you think about it, it’s only three years until I’m a real grownup, that’s kind of scary.

 

Here are some pictures of my first year at college. Some of these might be repeats but that’s okay.

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Okay so here’s a list of advice or just things I picked up from freshman year.

  • Be roommates before friends. It’s nice to be friends with your roommate, but it’s also good to make friends you don’t share with them. That way incase you fight you have somewhere to go and you aren’t messing with the dynamic of a whole group.
  • Make solid group of friends. I have all different types of friends, but I didn’t really find a solid group until later in the year. I’m really grateful that I found a large group of people than just one or two.
  • Go to all the orientation meetings and such. It might be annoying and stupid to play those games but you really make good friends.
  • Force yourself to be friendly, talk to people in the halls, don’t be afraid to ask where something is, sit in the dining hall, and most importantly don’t seclude yourself. At first my roommate and I ate together in the dining hall and then we started branching out and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
  • Know you can’t do everything. If you try to be in every club, have every job, and do every activity you will not only run out of time for yourself but time to do school work and really that’s more important. It’s good to get involved but you can’t do everything as much as you want to.
  • If a class sounds hard it probably is, and if you aren’t up for the challenge don’t risk your GPA. Trust me I wish I would’ve taken Spanish instead of Arabic all the time, I would’ve done either a lot better or I would’ve been able to test out.
  • Take time for yourself. Eat dinner in your room, take a break from people. You don’t have to be with your friends all the time.
  • Call your parents. Seriously, call them. It’s nice to have that connection and just talk to them, especially when  you feel homesick.
  • If you have the opportunity to go out with friends, and you have the money, take it. It’s a way to strengthen friendships and get to know people better. It’s also nice to eat real food.

I’m also going to do a post (probably on August) on things I think are really important to bring and things that I didn’t find necessary. Anyway, if any of you are finishing finals good luck, and to all of you that finished happy summer! Thanks for reading guys!

XOXO,

Mary.

Packing Tips

HA I hope you opened this thinking you would be getting helpful hints to packing but instead I’m going to help you know what not to do. I would like to point out that when I got here I was really organized because I was excited and well to leave I’ve procrastinated. A lot. In fact I’m still not done. So really quickly going to tell you how not to pack.

  • Do not throw everything into random bins and boxes, you will not know where anything is.
  • Do not try and pack multiple sections/parts/areas of a room at the same time, you’ll miss something in one or multiple of the sections.
  • Don’t leave any area of the room covered. Make sure you look everywhere.
  • Don’t take things out of boxes.
  • Do not start cleaning something out unless you are prepared to finish cleaning it.
  • Do not put things you want with trash
  • Do not put trash with things you want
  • Do not just throw clothes in something
  • Don’t mix dirty and clean clothes
  • Don’t just throw breakable things in boxes, make sure you know where they are
  • Don’t put things you use a lot with things you don’t use
  • Don’t let your room look like this picture while you pack

So here’s a picture of what my room looks at the moment if you feel bad about how yours looks, just remember it could be worse.

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Hopefully the quality of my posts will improve tomorrow and the rest of summer. Stress ends tomorrow my friends! Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Mary

The College Struggle

First and foremost I have some things to touch base with you guys on. If you have any questions leave them for me here also please read that post it’s very important, secondly I have fixed the pictures from the Ball and my walk downtown so if you wanted to see those please recheck them out. Also I would really appreciate it if at least one person asked me a question, like you would be my new favorite if you did.

You guessed it guys, I’m going to do another list. I just wrote a serious post but I don’t feel like doing the research to finish it so that’ll come another day so I have to do something rather quickly to post this and head to bed to rest up for my Arabic test tomorrow, please pray for that to go well, I’m a stressing. Anyway, so lately I’ve been noticing things that only really happen in college which really make it a struggle so here it goes. I’m going to numbers instead of bullet points because I’m feeling fancy today. Ooo switching it up.

The College Struggle

  1. Showers. Showers are a daily struggle, which is awful because I typically love showers, like at home if I have time I could spend like a good half hour in the shower. Anyway, the struggle first and foremost, is that here, if the water gets too hot it will SHUT OFF and you have to wait FIVE whole minutes until it comes back on. I can’t even tell you how many times this has happened to me, I like a hot shower and I get punished for it, not even fair.  Anyway, another horrible part of the shower is the freaking shoes. I hate it so much I feel like my feet never get properly cleaned. Also I get really annoyed when someone is in the shower I like, because I’m very specific and there’s only like two I like really so if they’re both taken you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m not going to be a happy camper.
  2. Exam Weeks. No I’m not talking about final week or even the week of midterms, it seems to me that professors decide to have every major exam during the same week and it drives me insane. Let’s split this up guys, okay?
  3. Dining hall food.Let me tell you this stuff is hit or miss. And being a Catholic on Fridays during lent is actually ridiculous, last week they didn’t even have fish! Tonight I had a good piece of brisket so I though, oh let me get another, and it was awful. Literally hit and miss for one food in the same day. Also the vegetables are covered in salt and butter, that is not how I like my green beans thank you very much.
  4. Time is an odd thing, like I lost all concept of time here. I could be studying and all of the sudden it’s 7 and I missed dinner, I’ve done it and it’s the worst.
  5. Snacks are a struggle. Like at home with my family chances are if I want something we have it, with a few exceptions. Here if I get a sudden craving for something I most likely have to suffer or if it won’t go away I have to take a trip to the store which I don’t like to do that because in case you weren’t aware I don’t like to leave my room.
  6. Leaving my room. Every morning I wake up, and if it’s a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, you can see me supporting my pajamas in the dining hall filling my to-go box with french toast or a bagel, and always, always, always sausage. It’s also a struggle when I try to leave for like dinner and after I’m done for the day because half the time I have stuff to do or I’m too mentally drained to move. However, once I get over myself I typically enjoy myself.
  7. Dorm rooms. Okay I only really have one complaint about mine right now and it’s this freaking broken tile. It is driving me mad and it keeps getting worse, to be honest I just need to go buy some super glue and piece it back together before it’s completely gone. I also really need to clean my room but that’s more of a personal thing.
  8. Taking classes you don’t need. I’m not going to be a translator, why am I taking a language? I’m not going to be a scientist why do I have to take a bio lab? I should only have to take classes that pertain to an idea of what I want to do. I know for a fact that I’m not going the science track so I shouldn’t have to take any of those. I should take classes for things I’m interested in.

Okay so that’s it for now I believe. I might add more. Please ask me questions, please. I don’t want to have nothing to answer tomorrow, because that’s embarrassing. Also go check out those other posts please. That’s it for now. Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Mary.