Thoughts

Saying “No” to Brands

MaryLeave a comment

I’ve been blogging for several years now and at least once a month I’ll get an email that goes something like this:

Hi Mary,

Wow, we love your blog, and I think that we have a great idea for a post! What would you think about writing about *insert random idea here that probably doesn’t fit in with blog at all*. What do you think? Here are some examples, and let us know if you want more details!

All the best,

Very Generic name here

So I usually reply:

Good *insert time of day* Generic Name!

I’m so happy you like my blog and I really like that idea. I would love more information! I am attaching my media kit so you are aware of my rates.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Mary

Then I usually get a reply that goes like this:

Hi Mary,

Thanks for a prompt response! So happy you like the idea, unfortunately, at this time we are unable to compensate. However, we would love to share your blog (if we like it enough) on our website and with our social media followers.

Please consider our offer and let me know if you decide to go ahead. We would really like to work with you.

*Generic Name*

To which I will respond,

*Generic Name*

I understand, however, as a person who needs an income at this time I unable to give out my services for free. I hope you can understand that. As I love the idea, if you ever find the budget for me, please let me know and I would be more than happy to work with you on this project.

Best,

Mary

Now honestly depending on my mood I’ll just stop responding, however, I’m very tired of offers that will not profit me or my readers. My media kit is actually very generous, I don’t charge nearly as much as I should, and I give the option of NO MONEY! Just a discount code for readers. I don’t want to hurt a startup trying to break into their industry, but that doesn’t mean I should let companies (that definitely have some type of marketing budget) take advantage of me.

Have I fallen for this before? Heck yes. Why? Becuase the people are so nice, they try to make a connection with you- it’s how they get free publicity. Once I started thinking about it though, it didn’t make sense. The only things I give free publicity to are services or products that I know and love. I shouldn’t be giving away my service for free to a company who wouldn’t even give me a sample of their service.

At the end of the day, you have to put you and your dignity above whether or not it will get you free publicity. All of their responses are contingent upon whether or not they like your work enough to share it, and honestly, you might have more “real” followers than them anyway. If a company is trying to use “smaller” bloggers to gain traction and attention, they might be doing some other undignified practices of gaining attention on social media.

Be careful and don’t let people take advantage.

 

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Baby Boomers are the Best and Millennials are the Worst

Mary2 Comments

I am a millennial. Now before you try and fight me on it, just let me have it. I have done papers. I fall in the years of millennials so please don’t even go there. I’m not Gen Z. I am the “problem” generation.

I am constantly pulling HR articles for social media posting at work and so many I come across are about millennials in the workplace and essentially what a PIA we are. SHUT UP. PLEASE. SHUT UP.

Fact. I don’t care if a company gives me a t-shirt, lets me wear whatever I want, or has pets in the office. All of those are perks, but not the most prevalent ones. We still want retirement plans we still want benefits.

I don’t know why every person who is not a millennial knows what we want and I’m also very curious how you can generalize a whole generation. You simply can’t. We have Google, Facebook, Amazon, BuzzFeed, and all of the media giants of today influencing people’s opinions of millennials, but in all honesty, they’re just adding icing on the cake. Companies are taking their avant-garde ideas that they add as pluses to their other benefits, but are forgetting to give people the OG benefits that are expected with a salaried job.

Let’s take BuzzFeed for example, ask anyone interested in digital media between the ages of 15 and 25, I would say 80% of them would be willing to work for BuzzFeed and 90% would at least be willing to make an appearance in a video or have a Tweet quoted in an article. Yet, their turnover rate for a lot of their “successful” employees is extremely high. Search “Why I Left BuzzFeed” on YouTube and you will find a million and one reasons. However, most of these are either centered around not having enough money to scrape by, or not having enough control over their personal brand. Their casual dress code, puppies in the office, popular videos, and overall portrayed energy promotes an idea of ideal work/life balance and displays people who seem like they generally want to go to work. This is what people think of millennials

So take away the “millennial wants” from BuzzFeed, you would see the reality of the situation there. Less than thrilled employees, not making enough money, and you would see the reality of a high turnover rate. It’s the idea of the perks that appeal to millennials, but it’s not what keeps them. 

So just a question: Why are millennials treated like we are the glutens, goldfish, and idiots of the workplace? All we’re looking for is someone to leech off of until someone new comes along. We don’t have the focus or attention span to stay with a company very long. And last but not least, we don’t really know anything (on top of literally everything we have ruined like department stores and fancy napkins).

Social media, as much as I love and cherish it, has given baby boomer and gen x to become afraid of the power they do not understand and attack us verbally. Naturally, the hashtags they try to dominate with why we’re the worst are quickly taken over by millennial “trolls.” We are not the snowflake generation, we are just not afraid to stand up for what we believe in. We are not cry babies and whiners, we’re just saying what we think to a larger audience. I’m sure gen x and baby boomer did just as much complaining back in their day, they just didn’t have a platform that would allow it to be so widespread. Back in their day, it was 15 minutes of fame, not the kind of fame we see today and they’re scared.

Back off, let me live tweet your breakdown and go viral because of it. While you continue to complain about how millennials suck (on the internet when we use it too much apparently) you’re going to be missing a lot of success. Stop being a precious snowflake and realize that millennials are starting to dominate the workforce and there’s not much you can do to stop it at this rate. We aren’t taking your jobs, killing industries, or whatever else you want to blame us for. Next time, don’t ruin the housing market and maybe I’ll buy a house as soon as I have a stable job, but too bad you did. If you want something fixed, go shop at more department stores and fix it. 

The Newest Addition to My Life: Leslie Knope

Mary2 Comments

As I mentioned briefly when we having coffee last weekend, I got a cat! She is five years old, rescued from a cat specific rescue league. Her name is Leslie Knope (but really goes by baby or sweetheart) and she is the most precious thing ever.

She doesn’t like to be held but she need to constantly be at my side.

 

 

If she’s not playing with my makeup brushes or jumping on and off the bed she is sound asleep at my feet or at my side.

 

So this is my kitty, Leslie.

It’s like I blinked…

MaryLeave a comment

This year I served as editor-in-chief for my college paper and I just wrote my last “From the desk of the editor.” In it I wrote about my college experience (it’s coming here soon) and I can’t get over how fast it all went.

It’s like I blinked and my life is totally different. It’s like I blinked and I’m 22. It’s like I blinked and it’s not my friends getting their permits anymore, it’s my little sister. It’s like I blinked an all of the people around me are new but wonderful. It’s like I blinked and I’m no longer just about to graduate high school.

This time four years ago I was ready to blink college away, ready to move out and get a job. I was going to college not because I wanted to keep learning but because it was a step in the right direction for what I wanted to do.

It’s like I blinked and all of the sudden I’m done. Handed in my last final, handed in my last project, and it’s done.

It’s like I blinked and the majority of my life that I’ve spent in a classroom is over. It’s like I blinked and college was done. It’s like I blinked and my friends are about to be dispersed across the country killing it at life. It’s like I blinked and I’m putting away all of my dorm stuff for the last time.

It’s crazy to think that my learning journey is nearly over. This blog has been with me through it all. It hold the crazy anxiety journey that I’ve been through over the past four years, all of the trials and tribulations of my life. My thoughts, opinions, adventures. Everything. My life for the past four years can be pieced together from the posts on this blog. It’s like I blinked through over 600 posts, four years of writing, what feels like a gazillion jobs, just everything. While, yes my college years are over, this blog is not. Be ready for that rebrand my friends.

What have you been blinking through?

Late Night Blogging with Mary: Part 29

Mary2 Comments

Once upon a time, I started this blog because I was going to college and I wanted to document the most mundane of adventures. Did I ever really do that? Not really. It has been three and a half years of rants, thought vomit, out of this world adventures, and sometimes just straight non-sense.

Yesterday, I hit 500 followers. I didn’t cry or shout like I thought I would (well I was at work) but I did get teary eyed. a little shaken and quite frankly a little overwhelmed. That’s a lot of people my friends.

Anyway, so thank you for that. It’s very moving.

Speaking of moving, I have been watching “Girl Boss” which is slightly inspiring. Like Sophia is a one-of-a-kind type of gal who doesn’t always do what’s best and not always what I would do. However, she is quite the go-getter, which is admirable. The show starts off with Sophia (the main character) going on about how being an adult sucks; which is a sentiment I am starting to sympathize with.

While applying for many, many jobs I have found it to be barely bearable. I’m honestly so over it. It’s so boring and excruciatingly painstaking. However, I shall press on and find a job that will do until I have a million children and can start up my mommy blog.

So here’s just a short little LNBM for now. Still working on the re-brand. I’d say by June it’ll be full swing.

Note to Self:

MaryLeave a comment

Yes you did brush your teeth this morning so stop worrying about it already!

Recently I’ve been facing a problem where if I do not write every single thing I need to do down, it’s not going to be remembered and therefore is unlikely to actually occur. I thought a little “note to self” might be of use today.

You’re going to write those articles, answer those emails, and do your homework, it’s on the to-do list and will get done, it’s a guarantee. What you need to remember is to put yourself first. Everyone around you has opinions, and they are great. The people around you are great, but sometimes, your thoughts matter more.

What do you want to do today? Do you want to cook dinner? Go to the store? Go to class? Do what you need to do, then pick and choose.

A note to self- worry about you and what you can control. There’s so much that falls outside of your realm of control, try not to worry about it.

Self-care is sometimes the most important thing you can do for yourself so don’t skip it, just embrace it.

Tackle your to-do list and write notes to yourself until you get everything done.

Going Soy and Dairy Free

MaryLeave a comment

For lent this year, in addition to my typical no fried food give up, I decided to do something very good for my diet and give up soy and dairy as well.

My mom said that she’s pretty sure I’ve always been lactose intolerant, I was diagnosed, then un-diagnosed in the fifth grade. However, my body has never really tolerated it that well, and it’s been something I needed to quit for a long time, so God was really the best excuse to finally do it.  In addition to being lactose intolerant, I found out the very hard way that I was soy intolerant, almost worse than my lactose problem. So I decided to give up both.

This has been a lot harder than I thought and I think I’m only about two weeks in, so I thought I would give you some tips.

What to Eat

  • Enjoy Life products are dairy, soy, peanut, and gluten free, along with a host of other allergens. You can also see what places sell what items on their website.
  • Annie’s brand products. Be careful depending on how allergic you are because something in the factory use dairy so just be advised. I’ve found snacks at Target and Giant Eagle.
  • Almonds. For some reason I have had the most luck with almonds. Almond milk, almond the snack food, and they come in different flavors.
  • Subway. While  you have to skip the cheese and flat bread, with a simple Google search you can find a complete list of allergens in each item you might want in your sub.

Cooking Tips

  • The more basic the better.
  • Buy veggies, go with simple things like chicken
  • Make sure everything you’re cooking with doesn’t have soy or dairy, including any oils and cooking sprays.

Anyone else soy and dairy free?

Trying to Date as 20-Something

Mary6 Comments

Dating sucks and I hate it. I hate the start of relationships where you have to get to know someone and trying to figure out the way they think, how to understand them, and just all those little things. I can’t think of anything about dating that I like. I can’t even count the number of times in a week where I want to call my mom and ask her to just arrange my marriage.

I was recently ghosted. Or maybe that’s still an occurring thing. I don’t really know how long of a process that typically is, but all I know is that I’m pretty pissed about it. Like really, you’re in your twenties, I’m willing to have a conversation, so let’s talk about it. I find myself to be a reasonable person, and ghosting makes me totally unreasonable. So to the guy that’s ghosting/ghosted me, if you’re reading this, I’m a catch and because of your unwillingness to have a conversation with me, you’re missing out boy. Also mom and dad- I don’t want to talk about it. I would be lying if I said I’ve never ghosted anyone, I mean I tried. I was unsuccessful because I feel like shit leaving someone in the dark like that.

I know that I’m a relatively easy person to date (at least in my opinion). I don’t require fancy dates (my favorite places are IHOP and Target) or even that much attention, a text a day suffices for me. However, I never seem to be enough for the boys that  pay attention to me, or I require too much. Honestly, the last guy who was actually my boyfriend couldn’t do enough for me so I broke up with him. That sounds really shitty, but he complained if I asked to go on a walk around the park, not even if we could get a coffee.

So I don’t understand why I find dating so complicated. I sometimes feel as if I have convoluted ideas behind dating. I can be quoted of saying “Did I miss the day in school where everyone learned to talk to people they’re attracted to?” Other than my lack of flirtation skills, I can’t get a guy to notice me. Well, I can, just not the ones that I want to, and I don’t know why that is.

I feel like I’m starting to get a little side-tracked (naturally) in this post. Really, the thing is, there is not one good thing about dating in your twenties. Tinder sucks and it’s how to meet some really shitty people. I would be curious to know if anyone has actually had good, continued success on the app, because I would say I had brief and okay success but now I will never use it again.

I’m not one to blame things on social media because I love it more than most other things. However, it does make dating harder. It makes reading into someone’s personal life a lot easier and actually talking to someone a lot more difficult. Like, if I just start seeing someone I am not about to tweet some T-Swift lyrics because that’s unfortunately the kind of thing that freaks guys out whether or not it has anything to do with them. They might not even follow me on social media yet and I won’t tweet it just in case they decide to creep. Fortunately, I’m not the type to get mad if a guy likes another girl’s picture, or retweets something, but there are people that get into actual fights over such things. While, I may find that little bit out there, it’s a real problem. Social media might be hurting our dating lives.

On the other hand, social media has done this awesome thing that it usually does, which is bring people together. I am curious to know if that works for people. I know a girl who started dating someone on Instagram, like they had mutual friends (I think) and they hit it off through comments. To me, that’s kinda crazy and I don’t think that happens a lot, but maybe I’m wrong. My goal is that an attractive man will see how hilarious I am on Twitter and slide into my DMs, I doubt it will happen but a girl can dream.

At the end of the day, my thoughts behind dating is that it sucks and I want an arranged marriage. No, not really, but it does suck. They’re are too many ways for it to go downhill. For someone like me, that is a tough thing to grasp sometimes. Post-graduation I would really like to have a steady man in my life that likes me and treats me well. Preferably, he has aspirations of things and goals he will obtain. Obviously, I’ll keep you posted on any male suiters (only after they know about the blog and they stick around past the “dating” phase of things).

What do you think about dating as a twenty-something?

So I’ve been 22…

Mary8 Comments

hello-ive-been

Okay so I didn’t write last year (2016) around my birthday, why? Because I wasn’t writing. Am I getting better now? A little bit but not really. So, in order to try and be a better blogger I’m going to write about 22 so far.

Here’s the thing: I’m feeling it, I’m feeling 22. It’s my Taylor Swift year, and that’s the best way to look at it as a positive thing in my opinion. I have not been taking aging in my twenties thus far very gracefully, each year is met with extreme expectations that are never quite met with the enthusiasm that I picture to be. So, by making this my Taylor Swift year I’m attempting to live my life like the “22” song that everyone seems to be quoting on their Instagrams this fateful year. As well as a host of all the Taylor Swift songs that I’ve ever aspired to see myself in.

Now, I’m the first of my friends for the most who turned 22 back in September, so that’s always been like an existential thing for me, it just makes me feel older than I am. However, I would say this was definitely the best celebration yet for 22 and I had started off my year on quite the kick. By that I mean I got pretty drunk with some of my best friends. I think that set a precedent for 22. Yes, I’m drinking more than I ever have (once a week, chill out, nothing too crazy) but it’s okay. This is my last year as  a pre-adult so I’m doing whatever I want for one more year and I think that’s really okay.

22 so far has been a time for self-actualization and self-love. I’ve been letting myself really do what I want, I mean I’m sure the Zoloft helps with that, but I’m finally doing things that I’ve always wanted to but stopped myself from doing. While I’m still often referred to as mom, I’m doing less-momish things and putting myself first sometimes. Not all the time, I do still have a problem saying no, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’ve also gotten a lot better at trying to make my life work for me, and at the end of the day what’s going to make me happy.

22 so far has been a time for friendships and lack of toxic relationships. The week after my birthday I started cutting out people who were toxic to me because that isn’t something I need to deal with. So I’ve worked on friendships with people who equalize their relationship with me, if that makes sense. Yes friendships are a two-way street, and sometimes they require more give than take, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time. So I found new friends, grew old friendships, formed new ones, and left the bad ones. There are too many good people in this world to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

22 so far has been a time for thoughts surrounding my future, as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing for the past four years of college. However, now it’s different. It’s more real. I’m applying for jobs, seeing what is best for me and my future. I have to think about things like benefits and the cost of living in cities where I apply to jobs compared to the salary. It’s a lot to think about.

So far, I think 22 has been good to me, maybe I’ll update you when I turn 23 about how the rest of the year goes. For now, I’m feelin’ 22.

Are you 22? Did you learn something new about yourself when you were?

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So your not a feminist…

MaryLeave a comment

life-is-too-short-to-belived-counting-the-years-enjoy-the-ride-and-makeamazing-memories-have-a-great-birthdayOkay I get it. You are a woman and you’re not like other women. You’ve never faced adversity so you don’t really need feminism. You don’t understand why so many women are afraid of this presidency. Seriously, he said “Grab ’em by the pussy,” and then he took away the right to birth control. We are living in a society where rape culture is perpetuated, but the president.

Okay but good for you, you are “not like other girls” because you haven’t faced any problems related to your gender, and for your sake, I hope you never do.

Here’s the thing though, I’m fighting for you. I’m fighting for your right to be a stay at home mom, your right for affordable healthcare, your right for an equal pay check, and anything else you might need that someone out there wants to keep from you.

The best thing about America (hoping it stays that way) is that we have our freedom of speech, and God gave us free-will so you really don’t need to be a feminist. I just wish you would realize what the cause actually meant.

I don’t want all of you non-feminists out there to think that I find myself better than you, I don’t, seriously. I’ve seen that comment so many places, and it’s just not true. I love you so much, I just want the best for you, your daughters, your mothers, your sisters, and any other woman that has impacted your life in a positive way.

Feminism isn’t just for women. It’s for everyone and everyone can benefit, I wish you were a feminist, and I’ll never understand those of you who say you are not, however, I will fight for you. Fight for your rights. Fight for our equality.

Remember, at the end of the day, this shouldn’t be a discussion. All people are equal, treat each other as such.

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